Page 67 of Dear, Carson McDermott
Dr. Lee wrote something in his notepad.
“Would you have trusted her without your father there?”
Without hesitating, I answered.
“Yes. She shows me every day that she wants me. She doesn’t look at me wit’ embarrassment in ‘er eyes. She doesn’ even say a thang when I lash out sometimes. Instead, she waits till’ I’ve calmed down and then she talks to me. Tells me stories of er’ growin’ up. Bout my great grandparents, my grandparents on her side and about Dad too.”
Dr. Lee smiled once again at this.
“Are you comfortable around the men in your family, Jude?”
I shut my eyes not liking the question but understanding that I’ve come to a place in my life that I can share private things with Dr. Lee.
“I am. None of them touch me in a way that they shouldn’. They teach me how to defend myself. Sometimes, when I’m over atNonno’s, I mean grandpa’s house, we just sit there. We don’t talk or nothin’, he doesn’t make me say anything’ less I want to. I love that time cause I ain’t scared of nothing’ round my family. I feel safe.”
“I like the progress that you’re making, Jude. I see that you’re learning not to use your aggression when you want to say something. You’re seeing that not every man that comes in your life is there to hurt you. Just like me, I know you trust me because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be sitting here.”
“Ya sure bout that?” I teased Dr. Lee.
He chuckled, “I’m sure, Jude. Plus, man to man, your father would get rid of me if you didn’t trust me.”
I laughed, knowing that he was right.
“That’s the truth right’ there. My Daddy, Uncle Beau and PawPaw told’ me that I am a McDermott. I ain’t got to be scared of a damn thang in this world. We always got each other’s back.”
Dr. Lee nodded,
“And you believe them when they say this to you?” he asked.
I smiled, “Fuck yeah!” My eyes widened and I covered my mouth, “Oops! Please don’ tell Mama, she’s gonna lecture me again and I really wanna train this summer wit’ Daddy. She said I had to be on my best behavior for that to happen.”
Dr. Lee snickered, “Doctor, patient confidentiality so you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
I smiled. Ready to start this new chapter in my life with my parents. It didn’t take long for me to love them because they never stopped loving me to begin with. My Mama and Papa were the best. I was proud to be a McDermott.
****
Katerina
I held onto Jude’s hand as we made our way towards the Box seats. My nerves were getting the best of me. This was Carson’s first game back and I wanted to make sure that nothing happened to him. I glanced at Jude; he had his hair pulled back with a band, so it was out of his face. His complexion had gotten a bit darker, much more chestnut brown than before. I loved it. He looked like he had a permanent tan. His amber eyes shined with love as he stared at me. He was only eleven now, but he was getting taller than me. He kissed my cheek,
“He’ll be fine. Dad said he’s got this.”
I smiled at how much he admired his father. Not only that but loved all the men he met again. The ones that he forgot but didn’t forget their little dude. When the elevator dinged and we got off, we were met with our entire family as they came in support.
“Hi Daddy, Hi Mama,” I said to my parents.
They turned to me, my father spoke first, “Carina, I thought you’d never get here.”
I giggled as I hugged my dad, “Jude, over here wanted to make sure to wear his dad’s jersey.”
My dad smiled wide at Jude, “Little dude, how are you? We’ve missed you. You still coming down for Christmas?”
Jude joined in the hug,
“I wouldn’ miss it,Nonno,”Grandpa.I loved how my dad was teaching him Italian again.
I went to say hi to my mother, then all my siblings and their significant others. My phone’s notification went off and I checked it. Our therapist told me to go see Carson. He needed a bit more support.
