Page 32 of Dear, Carson McDermott
“Wha-, what is it?” She asked as if she had a right to.
“Get up, shower an’ let’s go,” I ordered.
“Where are we going?” She asked as she eyed me from head to toe.
I knew what I looked like. I wore a hoodie, sweats, and sneakers with my hair braided back like I used to do before a game.
“You don’t get to ask where the hell we’re goin’. Get that ass up an’ move.”
Katerina’s head reared back, surprised that I’d talked to her like that. She sneered reminding me of a girl I didn’t think was still in there. She clenched her teeth beginning to get out of bed. I smirked as I irritated her by watching every move she made until she was in the bathroom.
After her shower and whatever the hell she did in there, she came back in the bedroom with the clothes I laid out for her. It was a tight strapless red number that stopped mid-thighs and she wore the heels that I left in there too. She looked uncomfortable as if she couldn’t stand me looking at her that way. I rolled my eyes walking away knowing she would follow me if she knew what was good for her.
Katerina didn’t talk as I drove us where we needed to go. She didn’t know this, but I needed certain anger where I was going. I got rid of the feel of her in my arms, the comfort that I gave her and the way she pleaded for me to help her get rid of the pain. This wasn’t the time for it. I didn’t need to feel bad for her. I had a moment of weakness and it was best I showed not only her but my damn self that she left me. I didn’t leave her, I didn’t walk out on her at the most crucial, most painful time in her life. No! That was all her. She made her bed so now she can lay in it.
I didn’t need to explain my actions to anyone especially her, so I refused to answer her questioning glances at me when we pulled up to a warehouse turned club. I parked the car, getting out and didn’t bother looking back. I heard the click-clack of her heels as they stomped the cement. She was getting riled up,good. This wasn’t what she thought, and I knew that by her small gasp behind me when we walked in.
The place was filled with a lot of people as they sat around a caged ring set up for a fight. I was an underground fighter and I enjoyed this because as of now, I killed for sport. I didn’t want to excuse anything or lie saying that I did it due to my profession or the life I was born into. No, this was what those who did me wrong turned me into and I fully accepted it. In fact, I should call up my mother letting her know her vicious words, hands, personality and more worked. I should turn to Katerina and thank her for driving the final nail in the coffin of insane, that is me.
I clapped hands with some folks and others as I made my way to the locker room. I knew I was up pretty soon. I never arrived hours before my fight, I didn’t want to mingle with these people or become friends. I came here for one thing, which was to kill. Sometimes, I stayed for the perks that came with the fights but that was when the kill was so deadly yet not enough to calm my urges.
Jacks, one of the big guys that ran this joint spotted me. He stood from where he was seated and made his way to me. He was a bit taller than me, big as hell, filled with muscle but I knew it was all for show because I could take him down if I wanted to. I almost came to doing so a couple of times when he got on my last nerve. His big blue eyes must’ve spotted Katerina with the way he looked past me. I didn’t like that lustful look in his eyes, she wasn’t for him to look nor touch.
“Who is this fine piece of ass,Manu?” He called me that name because in the Samoan language it meant beast.
I didn’t want them calling me by my actual name and neither did it matter to them, so they called me what my grandfather always called me when he referenced my abilities to play football.Manu.
“She isn’t to be looked at or touched, am I clear?” I glared at him.
He chuckled,
“come on brother, share a little, will you?”
I tried to control my anger,
“I’ll fuckin’ kill you where you stand if you touch my wife.AM. I.Fuckin’ clear?”
I didn’t even know when I got all up in his space, but I was in it and didn’t give a shit. I wanted a good enough reason to be provoked. I didn’t need the ring tonight if Jacks didn’t comprehend my use of the basic English language.
“Your wife?” His eyes widened and I cocked an eyebrow waiting for his answer, “crystal clear.” He said clearing his throat.
I shoved him out of my way, I turned to grab Katerina’s wrist as we made our way to my locker room. I needed to kill something as soon as possible.
Chapter 11
Katerina
I didn’t know how to react to anything as I sat there in a chair that was much more comfortable than it appeared. I wanted to ask Carson why the hell we were here, but I didn’t feel like seeing him unleash the side of him that I hadn’t gotten a full read on yet. There was something about the way he directed his anger at me. At first I was scared but now, it was like he was calling to a part of me I thought I lost when we lost Jude and ourselves. His anger embraced me much more than I thought. Just as I sometimes heard the call of the darkness, it had somehow shifted towards Carson. I hadn’t even been around him for a full week and his anger sang to me. It hit all sorts of high keys that made me break out into goosebumps. It wanted me to grovel, beg, plead, anything to succumb to its torture but there was one thing that it didn’t get, I wanted to be here. I wanted to feel that anger if it was the only thing that Carson could give me then I wanted it.Him. Him. Him.
The uproar of the crowd that came to watch this match pulled me out of my thoughts. The cage was just as big as those MMA cages and when the bell rung, there Carson and a man double his size in width began going toe-to-toe. For a second, I was worried about Carson, I didn’t know anything about his skills, and I had so many questions swimming through my mind. Like why was he doing this? Was this legal? It didn’t seem to be and that was fine by me but that meant this could go bad and no one would say a word about it. A punch so loud and harsh shocked me out of my chair. I stood as the big man’s fist connected to Carson’s jaw. I shouldn’t have moved but I did, I got closer to the ring and no one seemed to stop it.
I felt the cold cement beneath me. I didn’t remember taking off my heels, but I didn’t care about any of that. I watched intensely as Carson began to punch the guy as well, but it was like Carson was holding back. I wasn’t an expert in this, but this wasn’t a fair match. I gritted my teeth as blow by blow landed on all parts of his body that the guy could get a hold of and I wanted to jump in there. I shook the metal cage,
“stop it!” I screeched at the top of my lungs, but it was as though my words got lost in the crowd's uproar. “Stop it! Please!” I screamed, shaking the damn metal cage and it got lost in the crowd. Did they think I was cheering this shit on? Because I wasn’t.
Carson shook his head not looking my way but as if warning me to stop screaming as though he was going to die. I didn’t stop yelling nor did I stop shaking the cage. Something flashed, if I wasn’t so close, I would have missed it. Carson all of a sudden, swung on the big guy aiming for his ribs and he caught him. The punch must’ve been powerful because the big guy stumbled a bit. The impact of the pain was written all over his face, but Carson didn’t even blink nor rest as he did before. He began throwing his fists in perfect precision at the guy. He aimed for his ribs much more than anything else and when the big guy fell to his knees clutching his side, Carson focused on his face.
The big guy was exhausted, I know got why Carson didn’t fight back at first, he was tiring him out. I watched in pure fascination as Carson sauntered behind the big guy wrapping his arm around his neck and held him in a chokehold. Carson and I made eye contact but there was something so much more shocking in his amber eyes. There was a look, a faraway one that I had never seen before. He was staring right at me, but it was as though there were no emotions there. The hollowness shown at this moment, it froze my entire body. Nothing else mattered at this moment as I experienced something I hadn’t since we were first in love. The crowd disappeared, the yelling, the chanting of hisManuname but Carson didn’t.
