Page 14 of Marriage Ever After
During the beginning of the session, I was silent, not sure when I should even jump in. I know that the biggest thing that Mila kept shouting at me about was that I needed to listen to her. I couldn’t help but come to the conclusion that if I had only been listening to her then I would’ve been able to tell the signs. There must’ve been some sort of cry for help and I missed it. How could I miss a change going on with my family?
“Mr. Emerson, can I call you Kash?” Dr. Harrison got my attention.
I turned to face her. She was a woman in her fifties, with her hair up in a tight bun. Her bright eyes probed at mine trying to see more than the surface.
“Yes, you can call me Kash.”
She smiled. Politely.
“Okay, great. Now, Mila and have been doing a couple of sessions alone but I encouraged her to come with her family.”
I began bouncing my leg up and down. Dr. Harrison’s eyes went straight to my leg and I stopped.
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“How are you, Kash?”
“Huh?”
I was perplexed by why the question was directed towards me; it wasn’t about me.
“Seems like no one has asked you that question. How are you doing?”
I quickly glanced at Mila who sat in a lone chair instead of the lover’s sofa. She was doing that more. Not letting me touch her. She didn’t want my hands on her body, the only time I was able to hug her was the first time she flipped out and lost her shit in the house. After that, nothing. We were never alone in a room together and all I wanted to do was just touch my wife, feel her skin against mine. Even right now, she couldn’t make herself look at me instead she was staring at a painting.
“Kash…” Dr. Harrison called my name again.
“Oh. I’m alright, I guess.” Shrugging my shoulders didn’t warrant the satisfaction I thought it would.
“How are you coping with everything?”
My brows furrowed in confusion of these questions.
“What do you mean?”
“Mila feels like you don’t really speak with her or look at her the same. Why is that, Kash?”
The leg bounce began again as I scratched my scalp. My brows contorted once more.
“What? Ho-. This doesn’t make any sense. She won’t let me touch her.”
“That’s not true.”
Those were the first words that Mila had said to me in days.
Dr. Harrison put her palm up.
“Now, Mila, hold on. Let Kash say and express himself. This is a safe space, remember?”
Mila nodded at Dr. Harrison.
“I’m sorry.”
I scoffed not sure who it was directed at. Right now, I wondered why I never picked up smoking, it would definitely help, and my leg would stop bouncing. Dr. Harrison stared at my leg for a bit then she looked at me.
“Tell me, Kash, why did you say Mila won’t let you touch her? She says it’s not true. Explain to me what touching her would help with?”
I ran a hand down my face then through my hair as it came back covering my forehead and almost obscuring my eyes from Dr. Harrison’s scrutiny.
