Page 82 of In Want of a Wife
“I am. And you will be, too, because you must marry Miss Abrams.”
That sobered up Rafe.
“I can’t.”
“You can’t or you won’t, Rafe? You need to make a decision on your next posting soon, and I have talked with?—”
“I don’t want to be promoted to captain. I thought a wife would keep you busy and uninterested in my life long enough that I could come up with a plan.”
“It will be a mistake to leave the Royal Navy.”
Would it? Rafe wasn’t sure any longer.
“I never wished for this to be my life, and I have a chance to make it my own. I know you don’t understand because you wished it was you who had been sent off to be with Captain Ackerman, but life at sea is far less romantic than whatever pretty picture you have in your head.”
Henry stormed out of the room, not interested in hearing his brother’s protests. Rafe strode out the front door and raced for the fields, desperate to reach the ocean.
He always felt as if he were drowning while on land, but today, he might have finally slipped below the surface for good.
Lily didn’t knowif she wished to scream or lock herself away in a closet. She did know that she did not wish to see or hear or talk to one Rafe Davies.
“I take it that Rafe didn’t know Henry was married,” said Matilda, or rather, Countess Devlin. She was remarkably beautiful. Striking, actually.
Again, if Lily wasn’t so beside herself, she might want to have company right now.
“Please,” she said, “I don’t wish to be rude. I swear it. But I would prefer to be alone.”
“Henry and I feared this would happen. Well, not Rafe showing up with someone else for Henry to marry. That, I am sure, has been a shock for all of us.”
Lily circled the small reception room. The rugs were tattered, and the silk on the walls was spotted with water damage and mothballs. Everything needed a polish. The outside of Cliffstone might have appeared grand, but inside, the stately home was in terrible need of repair and improvement.
Which would explain the requirement of five thousand pounds yearly. But that would hardly cover what lay ahead for the Davies brothers at Cliffstone.
“Where Rafe is concerned, I have discovered in the short time of our acquaintance, there always is a shock.”
She cringed at speaking about him with such familiarity. He proved himself a stranger today. No, he was no longer Rafe or her Rafe. He was never truly hers, anyhow.
She tightened her hands into fists, glancing upward at the water spots and peeling plasterwork on the ceiling to avoid crying.
“Make yourself comfortable. I’m a terrible hostess. I wasn’t prepared for guests. I’m sure you understand. I will ring for tea.”
“Please,” Lily said again, turning toward the large window overlooking the large park stretching out toward the sea. Rafe had lied toher and then chased after his brother like a hound, leaving her there to wither in embarrassment and shame.
He did the one thing she had convinced herself he wouldn’t do—he’d left her.
“Very well.” The countess turned, then paused, sinking down on the settee. “When I met Henry last autumn, I certainly never thought I would one day be mistress of Cliffstone, never mind his wife. I grew up in Dublin, doing what was needed to care for my siblings. There are seven of us, and we’re a rowdy crew, you see.”
Lily turned back toward Matilda, crossing her arms over her chest. It was nearly July, and yet she couldn’t shake the terrible chill settling deep into her bones. She was alone once more, this time on the opposite end of England far from friends and her family. She had placed her trust in him.
However foolish that was.
Why had she ever believed she was worthy of love?
“Anyway, a horrible snowstorm changed everything, and here I am today. And all that is to say, you never know what waits for you if you keep searching.”
“I wasn’t looking for Rafe. I wasn’t even searching for a husband because I needed…”
She didn’t know anymore.
