Page 83 of In Want of a Wife
“Well, it doesn’t matter. I have been left at the altar twice, and I was brought here because I answered an advertisement for a man seeking a wife, who it turns out, in fact, was already married and wasn’t in need of one. And I have destroyed what little shred of dignity and reputation I have left with theton. I am positive no one will wish to have me in their company, and I must make peace with the fact I am and will be a spinster.”
The countess pulled the throw pillow to her chest, giving her a rather girlish appearance. “Twice? Men sure can be a bunch of spineless fools.”
“But not Henry?”
The countess threw her head back and laughed. “You haven’t guessed from his warm welcome? Trust me, he has his moments.”
She reminded her of Kate. They barely knew one another, yet Lily loved the way the sun clung to Matilda and the lightness of her laugh. She carried herself as if she didn’t have a care in the world.
Meanwhile, Lily felt as if she might crack and crumble there on the carpet if one more thing went wrong. She was tired. Tired of holding it together, tired of holding out hope, tired of being foolishly and recklessly in love with a man who clearly did not feel the same.
“I think I will need to return to London tomorrow,” she said finally.
“This is a large house, and I am happy to keep Rafe away. Though I feel as if Henry will do the job perfectly.”
“I’m alone,” she whispered. She glanced toward Countess Devlin. “I mean, I have left everything I knew to marry a stranger across the country because that was my plan. That was my solution to being jilted. I relied on myself, and it has failed spectacularly.”
“Life rarely goes to plan.”
“It’s only that I thought this one would stick.”
It seemedas if Lily were to be questioned by everyone. She doubted one afternoon on the ocean was enough experience, but she did wish for Rafe’s sailboat, so she could sail away.
Perhaps she could be a companion or a governess. She did so wish to visit Venice one day, and husband or no, she would do it. Charlotte had mentioned opening a school for girls. Perhaps she could teach.
“Would you care for some tea, Miss Abrams?”
She leaned back against the tattered slipcover on the wing chair. It was later in the day now, but by how much, she was no longer certain. She could only see that the shadows on the carpet had stretched as the sun slowly crept across the sky.
Lily wanted to tell her host to leave her be, but instead, she forced the same smile she used with her stepmother and straightened. “Yes, thank you.”
Henry poured, making eye contact before pulling his attention away to the chipped sugar bowl.
“I feel as though I must apologize for my brother. This is an unfortunate mess, and as usual, he is at its center.”
Lily grabbed her teacup from Henry, then thought better and placed it on the small table beside the chair.
“He assures me he only had the best intentions, and I must thank you for your interest in being my wife…”
She could feel his uncomfortableness, and perhaps that was why it felt as if she couldn’t swallow suddenly. Or perhaps it was that she was no longer interested in anyone’s apologies when they served no greater purpose.
Lily held up her hand, stopping Henry.
“Please, Lord Devlin, I understand why you wished to speak with me. But I must confess that I am not interested in hearing an apology. Your brother is twenty-nine, and he is fully capable of taking stock of his mistake and making the necessary apologies.”
“Miss—”
“Furthermore,” she continued, speaking over him, “he has spent almost his entire life trying to satisfy you. I fear no matter what the solution to this problem may be, you will make sure he will never forget it and will continue to hold it over his head. Rafe is a decent man, which I know you realize. He is not seeking a father, and he doesn’t need any interference on his behalf. But perhaps you have been too blind to recognize it.”
Henry quietly stirred his tea before setting down the spoon and taking a small sip. “Do you have sisters, Miss Abrams?”
“Four stepsisters.”
“Then you must understand.”
“I fear I don’t. I love my sisters fiercely, in spite of how little they admire me. Still, I would never go out of my way to treat them as you have done with Rafe, whether intentional or not. He lives to meet your approval, and that seems like an impossible standard.”
Henry cleared his throat, taken aback.
