Page 30 of California Love Songs
Erin was the one he could really talk to. She was the listener in the family, the one busy observing and not so busy flapping her mouth.
It was getting on for seven and he wasn’t sure whether it might be too early to call her, so he sent a text. To his delight, she responded right away, and they agreed to meet on the beach and walk the dogs. He hadn’t specifically said, “Don’t bring Jay,” but Erin, perceptive as she was, would doubtless show up alone.
He swung by the family home to pick up Buster, knowing how much the dog loved the beach. His mom was reading the paper when he let himself in, her first coffee of the day in her hand. She looked surprised to see him.
“Thought I’d take Buster for a walk with Erin and Boswell,” he said by way of explanation.
His mom smiled. “It’s nice to see you spend time with your siblings now that you’re home for a while,” she said. “It’s the small moments, like walks on the beach or grabbing a quick coffee, that you don’t realize you’ve missed until you have them again.”
His mom was right. She was always right. It was the small things he missed about being home. Buster, who was acting like he hadn’t seen Damien in at least a year, was jumping up and down at the sight of the leash.
Damien shook his head. “Don’t you ever walk this dog?”
She laughed. “Twice a day. But you could walk him seventeen times a day and he’d still act like a shut-in.”
So he and Buster bounded off on their adventure and soon caught up with Erin on the beach with both her dog, Boswell, and Jay’s rescue, Nelson. How Erin handled both excitable dogs as well as Jay and worked a full-time job was impressive. He gave his sister a big hug, and Buster and the dogs greeted each other with ecstatic enthusiasm, even though they’d all been at breakfast together only the day before.
They settled into step with each other, and Erin immediately asked him what was up.
He was kind of surprised. “Why does something have to be going on for me to want a walk with my little sister?”
She laughed. “I know you. You wouldn’t be texting me so early in the morning suggesting a walk if you didn’t have something on your mind.”
“Busted.” Damien laughed, but there was a sadness to it even he could hear.
Now that they were together and walking, he wasn’t sure how to begin. When he’d felt compelled to tell Erin about the events of the previous night, he hadn’t thought through the fact that she and Crystal were best friends. He and Erin were siblings, but girls’ code came first with Erin and Crystal, and his sister was a loyal and protective friend. He should really keep what had happened to himself.
And yet, he couldn’t. He really needed advice. He needed a woman’s advice, and he couldn’t think of anyone he’d rather tell than Erin.
He turned to her and found her gazing at him with those steady eyes that saw so much. The breeze tossed her honey-colored hair around her face, and she pushed a strand behind her ear in a no-nonsense manner as she waited patiently for him to begin.
“The brother-sister bond trumps the girlfriend bond, right?” He could hear the tentative note in his voice and watched as Erin’s calm expression morphed into one of concern.
Slowly she said, “Well, I guess it depends on whether you’ve broken one of those bonds.”
He shoved his hand in his hair. He was pretty sure he hadn’t. But had he?
“Look, I want to tell you something that happened, and I just would really appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone else.”
Now her frown deepened. “Here’s what I’m prepared to do—I won’t break a confidence, but if you’ve hurt someone I care about, I’m going to act in the way I think is right. If that’s not okay, don’t tell me whatever it is that’s bothering you.”
He respected that a lot. There was a reason he went to Erin when he had something serious to talk about. She was absolutely reliable, completely honest, and she wouldn’t ever betray a confidence. But if she felt uncomfortable, she would refuse to even listen to the confidence. That was fair enough.
Damien could trust Erin with his secret, but he also understood he was putting her in a difficult position. Maybe he should keep his confusion to himself, go write another song, and see if he could work out his emotions that way. He’d done that often enough—writing tunes that spoke to his deepest longings and frustrations. He tried to be honest in his communications, whether through song or simply in a conversation on the beach with his sister. But he’d already worked through part of that in the song he’d finished this morning.
Now he really needed to talk to a human being. He needed to talk to Erin. “That’s fair,” he said.
She nodded once, and they fell into step again. Giving himself time to find the right words, he threw a ball for Buster, and of course, all three dogs went tearing after it, ears and fur and tails flying. It was hard to hold onto worries when your feet were in the golden sand of Carmel Beach, and dogs were racing, and ahead of them two people were holding hands.
Maybe everything would be okay.
Still looking ahead at the horizon, he said, “Crystal and I went salsa dancing last night.”
Hearing his tone must have alerted Erin that more than a little twirling and dipping had taken place. “Okay,” she said somewhat cautiously.
He let out a breath. Fortunately, at that moment, Nelson came bounding up and dropped a ball at his feet. He took the opportunity to bend down and chuck the thing and watch all three dogs go bounding after it again. He was wearing dark glasses and a ball cap, which were usually enough to stop people from recognizing him right away. It also meant Erin couldn’t see his eyes, which he was kind of happy about. His sister saw way too much. He was confused enough about his feelings. He didn’t really want that confusion to show.
He kept the story as simple as possible. “We had a great time.And then I don’t know what happened. We kissed.”
