Page 104 of The Problem with Falling
They were so, so sad.
I wanted to ask her a million questions. A million words I wanted to give her. I wanted to know how she’d been. If she was okay. If she still laughed during sunsets and cried during sunrises. I wanted to know if her favorite color was the same or if it changed—was it now midnight blue? Did she still cry during thriller movies and skip to the end because she loved spoilers? Did she ever get that first kiss? Did she still like love stories most of all? Did she ever miss her former best friend?
Did she ever think of me?
“You’re a devil, Willow Kingsley,” Mrs. Lane spat out. “An evil person who ruins the lives of everyone she comes in contact with. You don’t know the damage you just caused. This will affect Anna for a good while. Just…leave, will you? Leave and give us peace.” With that, she turned around and marched away, leaving me standing there in a full-blown panic attack that no one knew about except for me.
After a few minutes, Theo came over, looking as happy as could be, with a smile as big as a kid on Christmas Day. He held a triple-decker ice cream cone in his hand, each scoop almost the size of a small child’s head.
“This is turning out to be a fantastic day,” he exclaimed. “Where to next?” His eyes fell to me, and his childlike persona shifted instantly. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
I smiled and shook my head, trying to play it off. “Nothing. I just got tired. It’s been a long day. Maybe we can go to my dad’s so I can get some rest.”
He narrowed his eyebrows, not buying it. “Weeping Willow, what happe—”
“Please, Theo,” I begged. “I don’t want to talk now. I just want to sleep.”
He didn’t push for more, but I could tell he was concerned. That evening, he fell asleep with his arms wrapped around me as I stayed awake for the remainder of the night.
I cried in his arms, thinking about Anna, Eric, and Carter.
They were so young. They were robbed of a life because of me.
At least Eric and Carter didn’t know they were robbed of living.
Anna had the reminder every single day for the rest of forever.
How hard it must have been to wake up in the morning and need someone to help you out of bed. To only be able to move when others were there to help. To take endless amounts of medicine every single day.
To be angry and not able to storm away.
To hurt and not be able to control the pain.
To feel and want everything in this lifetime, but not to have a chance to live out your wishes and dreams.
I stole Eric’s and Carter’s lives.
But I ruined Anna’s.
And now she had a recent vision of me in her mind.
I bet I was smiling when I looked up at her.
I bet I looked happy.
Because I was at that moment. I was so painfully happy, and it made me sick to my stomach that Anna witnessed that part of me.
I didn’t deserve to be happy. I didn’t deserve to mindlessly stuff my mouth with popcorn as the love of my life was getting a triple-decker ice cream cone.
The love of my life.
No.
I didn’t deserve that.
Did she ever have her first kiss?
Did she ever fall in love?
