Page 58 of The Best Worst Mistake
I’m here for you, if you need me.
The whole thing makes me laugh quickly — crisply — then for some odd reason, tear up. His hand pressed to my back like that.
I’ve missed this version of him, the friend he’d been to me, so much. The one who used to give me a load of sarcasm and crap, but was so intensely there for me, always, and without hesitation. It’s no wonder that the loss of him during a time I needed him the most felt nearly unbearable.
“In that case,” I tell him, “stand by.”
He leans in and plants a firm kiss on the top of my head, the letter crunching between us.
“Just call if you need me to come up.”
I nod.
He pulls back and starts off toward his room.
“One hour, Jules!” he calls out over his shoulder before turning the corner down the hall toward his side of the hotel.
Then I take off toward my own room, the unopened letter still clutched in my hand.
Chapter 25
Grant
One year ago
Jules,
Your parachute must have opened if you’re reading this, thank God. Either that or you’ve somehow survived a harrowing skydiving experience and carried on to collect this letter at your next destination. In which case, good girl.
Either way, bienvenido a España!
Let’s hope you took the advice of my last letter to heart and are thoroughly, unabashedly, enjoying yourself by this point.
I hope that the staggering views of Interlaken followed by the stunning seascape of Cádiz has left you utterly spellbound by the world again, and you’re permanently wondering why you don’t live in this intoxicating part of the world year-round. In other words, I hope this trip is doing exactly what I wanted it to do for you — getting you out of your comfort zone. Stoking a loud, inescapable yearning to experience life outside the mountain of grief you’ve carried all year, caused by yours truly.
I also pray to God that you are no longer questioning why I sent you on this trip with Silas.
Do you remember when we went on that camping trip through the Adirondacks a fewyears after graduation? You, Silas, and me, plus Ryeson and Dax?
The five of us had ventured out for just a night or two, mostly because I don’t think any of us could bear to be away from working plumbing any longer than that. You were the only girl to join, and it was on that trip I told Silas I was planning to propose to you.
We’d been backpacking all day to set up camp out by Dorian Lake. You’d had the worst time, twisting your ankle on that overturned log halfway through, and then you were eaten by the army of mosquitos that bombarded our camp. We’d all joked that you must have had the sweetest blood among us because you were getting absolutely eaten alive. You were like a Maglite, drawing every last mosquito to you instead of to the rest of us. But it was too late to hike back to the cars to give you any relief. It was getting dark by the time we arrived at the lake. We’d had no choice but to stay the night and leave first thing in the morning.
You were miserable. I could tell that you were just trying to be a good sport about it because you didn’t want to be the weakest link, or ruin the good time we were all trying to have, even though I knew that any one of us would have been pissing and moaning about it much more than you had. You’d put on a brave face and coated your entire body and sleeping bag in mosquito repellant before lying down and pulling the sleeping bag up over your faceuntil the smoke from the fire got thick enough to keep the bugs at bay while you slept.
After you finally drifted off to sleep, Ryeson and Dax passed out too.
When Silas and I were alone beside the campfire, crickets and mosquitos being our only company, I told him that I was going to propose when we got back home. I already had the ring from my grandmother and everything. I just needed to psych myself up enough to do it, vowing to find the perfect moment to ask you for your hand.
At first, he’d grown quiet. Then he stayed quiet for a long time, which, as we both know, goes completely against Silas’ nature. We both sat there, just him and me and the crackling fire with you snoring quietly beside us — your head sticking out of the top of your bag.
Now, as if you could forget, Silas was the biggest ladies’ man on campus. He could have had any girl he wanted, and he did. But when he found out I was going to propose, he just watched you sleeping, only your face visible from the top of your sleeping bag, already covered in red bites from earlier in the day. Then he finally looked at me and said something I’ve never forgotten.
He said, “I’m glad you chucked that coin in the Charles River. You were right not to back off from that stupid coin toss. You were right to call dibs and fall in love with her. Jules is perfect. Every bit of her is worth fighting for.You were just the one who was smart enough to do it.”
Which brings me to the coin toss.
I’ve never told you about The Coin Toss.
