Page 122 of The Casualty of Us
“I swear, if you act smug about this, I will never—”
He presses his lips to mine, silencing what would have been such a good rant before lifting just enough to state seriously, “I’m only smug because it mattered to me.” His fingers start to tap away at my thigh again. “Now do you want to go back down to the party or stay here?”
I pause, flicking my eyes up and lifting my hand to play with some of the strands of hair falling across his forehead. “Stay.” Knowing that to say I want to be anywhere else right now would be one lie too many in my current state. “I want to stay.”
Bringing my eyes back down to find a tenderness in his that takes me by surprise, not at its presence exactly…but at the depth of it.
As if while he might be my cause and cure, I might be his salvation.
“Then we stay.” He lifts my thigh, rolling off me and onto his side before throwing it back over his hip again while promising me, “For as long as you need to.”
“Do you…” I swallow at the hardness I can still feel pressing up against me. “Do you want me to, like…do something?”
“No,” he exhales on a quiet laugh. “It’ll go away, just give me a minute.”
I frown. “That doesn’t seem fair.”
Because there’s not a doubt in my mind about what I just experienced.
“I’m fine.” He leans in, brushing his nose against mine. “Promise.”
“Will you tell me about it?”
“What?”
“Your summer.” I run my fingers over his shoulder, sinking down into the bed and even further against him. “I need to know you were as happy as you looked.”
He pauses, eyes flaring with surprise before nodding quickly. “I was fine. It was boring as shit like seventy-five percent of the time, but I had a good time with my dad.”
Something else in me eases at the reassurance, and my lids start to droop with a boneless kind of sense overtaking my limbs.
“Tell me,” I press softly, reaching for the hand on my thigh and winding his fingers through mine. “I want to hear everything.”
“Okay, baby.” His hand squeezes mine with the hushed words, throat clearing before he launches into the story of his summer. His voice taking on a lyrical rhythm that my heart picks up the pace to and soothes me with every word. Bringing me back to life and reminding me to believe in the good.
Of the reasons for it all.
Lulling me into a more peaceful sleep than I’ve had all summer because I know he’s wrapped around me and that I’m safe.
It’s not until I wake up the next morning in almost the exact same spot I fell asleep in that the ache hits my heart, though. Giving me a new personal definition to file under the word heartsick. Staring at what has to be the most beautiful guy that’s ever existed and knowing that I wasn’t strong enough to stop it.
That I’m not strong enough to save anyone apparently.
Because I can’t stay away from the other one I’m trying to keep safe either. Not today.
Not even with how pissed I still am at him.
It’s like being separated from a limb right now, especially.
So when his eyes finally crack, the first words out of my mouth are the truth I can’t escape no matter which way I cut it. “I don’t regret a single second of it.” I squeeze his hand that’s still in mine to let him know I really mean it before continuing softly, “But I want to go home…I need my brother.”
“And a happy birthday to you.” A sleepy grin pulls at his lips. “I figured.” He yawns widely. “I have my dad’s plane sitting at the airport on standby.”
I purse my lips. “Presumptuous.”
“I told them how to make your tea too.” He brushes his lips against mine with a quick kiss before sitting up, giving me a fullview of his back for the first time since he got here and the black ink marking him up there now. The scythe stretches from his left hip all the way up to his right shoulder blade, dripping feathers and music notes across his back. My eyes run along the lines of the piece as he stretches his hands above his head. Soft morning light painting it with shadows and highlights that have my heart clenching because…it’s beautiful. The story that I got to go along with it, about some father and son bonding and all of his dad’s bandmates getting the same tattoo during their first tour…now that had me second guessing my babysitter assumption.
But it’s also cute in a weird way, I guess.
