Page 120 of The Casualty of Us
I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe because…I don’t think there’s any escape here either.
I can’t see it if there is.
Can’t see anything but the cause and the cure.
“Goddammit.” I gasp, barely choking out, “You’re going to get one of us killed,” right before giving into something that seems like the only way I’m going to be able to keep getting air.
His face falls, eyes flashing with surprise right as I jump without any thought as to whether I’m going to fall or not. Lifting up on my toes and wrapping my arms around his neck while pressing my lips to his. Barely giving him time to catch up before digging my nails into his shoulders and lifting a leg up to hitch around his hip. Only knowing deep down inside that I need this—him—and working off nothing but instinct from there.
A rough sound leaves him, and a beat later he comes to life, one hand immediately going to the back of my leg as the other closes around my waist. Fingers on both pressing into my skin as he opens his mouth and I gasp for air, deepening the kiss right along with him. Wanting nothing more than to drown myself in the breaths he’s giving me to ward off the way that knot is unraveling with every brush of skin.
The hand on my leg tightens a fraction more, lifting a little as he pulls me closer, and that’s all the encouragement I need. I use my leverage on his shoulders to jump and wrap my other leg around his hip as the hand on my waist drops to my ass. Giving me pause for maybe a millisecond since no one’s ever exactly had their hand there in this way, but then he bites my lower lip, and I’m over it. Fully on board and digging my nails into his shirt as he pulls it through before kissing the sting away. A soft gasp escapes me as every cell in my body suddenly seems to pool low in me, heating there and sending me searching for something to ease it.
“Oh, fuck,” I gasp when he drops his mouth to my neck and starts to walk us back toward the bed. Feet digging into his back as he kisses his way down to lightly bite at my pulse point and another gasp escapes me right before he lowers us to the bed. The hand that was on my ass slides around to the back of myknee and hitches my leg higher as he sucks the skin into his mouth. Leaving me arching my head back with a soft sound falling from my lips before he releases it. Immediately lifting his lips back up to mine and kissing me hungrily as I roll my hips up.
He goes still when I press myself against him, a sharp breath leaving him just as he breaks the kiss. “Wait, wait.”
“I need this,” I whisper, lifting a hand to the back of his head and winding my fingers through the hair there. “Please, Hayes, pl—”
His lips press down onto mine, cutting me off even as he lowers his bottom half fully down onto me. Every inch of us pressing together as I start to pull on the back of his shirt, yanking it up and trying to get it over his head, torn between not wanting to break the kiss again and wanting to feel more of him. He decides for me though, ripping his mouth away from mine long enough to reach a hand back and jerk it over his head. His shirt falls to the bed next to us as his lips crash back down onto mine, and his fingers find my leg again.
I gasp as he starts to slide his hand up, and both of my own go for all that skin on display now. Greedy for it. To touch him in all the ways I’ve been holding back from. To explore and taste and feel until there’s nothing I haven’t committed to memory. Desperate for more as his hand finally reaches the top of my thigh and he drops his lips to my neck again. Hair tickling against my skin as I roll my hips in encouragement with a breathy sound escaping, and he groans, biting down gently before lifting up to press his forehead against mine.
Hazel all lit up with flecks of gold that have never seemed quite so bright as his fingers feather across the edge of my panties, and he rasps tightly, “Is this okay?”
I give him a nod, one hand going to the back of his head to pull his lips back down and the other running over his back continuously. Loving the goose bumps I can feel eruptingunderneath my fingers and sliding my tongue against his as our mouths come together again. Teeth bumping as he pulls away the barest hint to slide a finger under my panties, pushing them to the side and making me gasp sharply. Air hits me there a second before he slides two fingers down through my slit, and my brain lights up like the Fourth of July. My neurons fighting to give every sensation equal attention as he circles my entrance, and I freeze at the obvious wetness there right before he nips my bottom lip gently.
Falling into that perfect symmetry together as he pushes a finger inside of me, and a soft cry leaves me at the sense of intrusion.
“Fucking hell,” he groans, dropping his forehead down to my chest and gasping for a breath as he pulls his finger back out. Immediately spreading all that wetness up to brush against my clit and making the same sound leave me a bit more desperately this time, fingers digging into his skin as he starts to kiss his way across my chest. Each little contact brings another brush of his fingers against my clit and leaves me practically shaking by the time he moves them back down. Pushing two inside of me without as much hesitation as before, and the words leave my mouth instinctually.
“I’m a virgin.”
He freezes. Every part of his body that’s pressed against mine locked up tight.
And I know exactly why he lifts his head a second later with his brows already pulled low. “Freckles…”
“Don’t stop,” I gasp, my voice sounding breathless and foreign to my own ears. “And don’t make me beg.”
Because every part of me knows I need this right now but I also know it wouldn’t be fair to not tell him.
“Fuck.” His eyes move between mine a couple of times, intensity swirling to muddy the way they’re all lit up for me.“Don’t ask me to do anything you’re going to hate me for in the morning.”
I scowl at that, not liking it but knowing he’s right too. “Fine, but just…” Unable to put into words exactly what it is I need, I breathe out sharply again, “Don’t stop, please.”
I think I might die if you do.
A sudden puff of laughter across my skin clues me in that my inside head words made their great escape into the world right before his gaze lights up fully again. Something predatory rising in it as he lifts his head back above mine and teases me with some kind of almost kiss. His eyes holding mine and my heart kicking back up into an even faster rhythm as he pulls his fingers back out to circle my clit.
“I want answers, Ophelia.” He presses down a little harder, and my lips part with a gasp. “No more bullshit.”
“I know,” I croak, lifting my hips to chase what he’s giving me and damning us both as well. “Tomorrow, I promise.” Pulling on his hair because I know it’s a weak spot. “Just give me tonight, okay?”
His eyes narrow just a bit, fingers making another pass against my clit that has my legs clenching around him. “Promise?”
“I swear.”
“That’s my girl.”
