Page 82 of The Casualty of Us
“Right,” I deadpan, trying to keep myself in check. “Because that’s what I need more—”
“Well, it worked.” He clears his throat, fingers starting to move in small circles on my waist and making me swallow down the rest. “Didn’t it?”
“Mmm.”
Not able to say anything beyond that.
Because in the dark with him here…I can slip. So easily.
Feel safe enough again for the first time since Christmas to do so with reality locked away out there.
“When’s the last time you slept?”
“Last night.”
“No.” His fingers press into my waist, tickling in warning. “When’s the last time you really slept, Ophelia? I’m talking a full eight hours.”
“Um…” I try to think back through the last week or so and come up empty. “I’m not sure.”
He pauses, hand on my side giving a twitch, before his voice drops with quiet accusation. “You haven’t been staying here.”
“Ollie’s been staying when I need him to.”
“Stop that.” His fingers pinch my side gently. “Stay here whenever you want.”
I roll my eyes. “Hayes—”
“Freckles,” he cuts me off. “Please.”
And the earnestness I can see pouring out from the hazel even in the dark has me sighing, “Fine.” The next words tumbling from my lips before I can chicken out and listen to the way my brain is screaming to pull back. “What happened that night?”
Because I just…need to know.
Need to know if what he told me in the library that day is true or if the gossip mill actually got something right for once. Need to know at least this part of our reality.
He stills for a beat before questioning quietly. “With Josey?”
“Yeah.” I whisper back. “Just the facts.”
Immediately holding my breath when he doesn’t hesitate to just lay it out there. “I made a stupid call and got myself into a bad situation. She kissed me and maybe a second or two passed then I pushed her away.”
I pause, neither one of us moving an inch before I breathe. “That’s it?”
“That’s it.” His fingers press into my skin. “I swear to God, Ophelia.”
The silence hangs heavy in the dark space until I give him a simple, “Okay.”
Trusting his word but still not able to expose more of myself than that right now.
“Okay.” He sighs back, leg lifting a little higher on mine and pressing down like he’s getting all comfy right before he stops. “Uh.” He clears his throat. “Just let me know when you’re ready—”
“Not yet.” I close my eyes, knowing that the ground is going to shift the second the world breaks in again and that I haven’t even begun to process what just happened here. “Just…not yet.”
“Okay,” he whispers, arms squeezing around me. “Sleep, Freckles, I’ve got you.”
And I do just that, slipping into something truly dreamless that comes from finally feeling safe tucked away in the dark with him.
“What the fuck!”
