Page 81 of The Casualty of Us
I pause at the assumption, staring at him and taking stock of everything that’s happened since we came back from Christmas. Already knowing the answer by the flip of my stomach but wanting to be sure before finally whispering back, “I don’t, actually.” But the twist in my chest that comes with the truth reminds me. “The whole thing just put me right back there, though, and…” I drop my gaze down to where my hand is, a scowl immediately forming at how my pulse seems to bethumping in time with his now. “I don’t know how to let it go.” I blink back up at him. “I’ve tried, but it’s justthere.”
“Right.” He clears his throat. “Gotcha.” The word leaves him on a harsh breath that I swear holds some laughter, but he quickly adds to it. “So just a thought, but maybe that means you’re not supposed to.”
A scoff escapes me before I can help it because—
“You’re saying I’m supposed to stay pissed at you?”
“I’m saying…” He gives another full-body sigh, and this time I’m present enough that mine definitely notices. “Maybe you can’t let it go because that would mean letting go of me too.” My lips part, breath hitching, and his thumb drops down just a bit. “And maybe…you’re not supposed to do that.”
“Says who?”
“Says me.”
I try to frown. “Convenient.”
“Maybe.” He murmurs, brushing his thumb across my skin again before bringing reality crashing down on me. “So you want to tell me what happened now?”
No.
The pretty much constant fluttering of my stomach around him turns into a sudden plunge, body locking up instantly and mind flying right back to that horrible room.
“I think he…” I trail off, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to see it again even if it’s the last thing I want to do. “I think he took pictures of me.”
Because it’s important. I know it is.
His voice falls on my ears with a low rasp. “Who, Ophelia?”
“One of the kidnappers.”
“But…” His hand stills against my face. “That would make sense, right? Proof of life or whatever? They would have needed that.”
“Yes, but—" I trail back through all those moments that seem to run together into an infinity of misery. “It was really hard to stay awake by the end, but I couldn’t really sleep either, so I just kind of drifted at times and…” I try to work out whether it’s some part of my mind finally cracking or healing. “I think he came in again.”
His body leans into mine. “What do you mean, again?”
“Ophelia, Ophelia…” I mutter, hearing the barely there click with his voice this time. “One of them freaked me out more than the others,” I press back against him while forcing myself to loop through the moment. “Called me sweetheart sometimes.” He tenses, every muscle going tight against me. “I think he came back in and took some more pictures.” I open my eyes back up to find the hazel waiting for me with something that almost looks like possession. “I think…I might’ve forgotten.” My brows fall with the reconciliation, the next admission leaving me fighting to keep my voice even. “Or thought I dreamed it or something, I–I’m not sure.”
A couple of breaths seem to pass from his chest to mine before his thumb starts back up again. “It makes sense that it would take time for you to sort through that shit, O,” he whispers gently. “Not even you can force that brain of yours to make peace with something like that if it’s not ready to.”
I scowl. “But—”
“And it’s over, right?” He slides a leg on top of mine, lifting his thumb to run down the bridge of my nose. “Whatever happened or didn’t happen is two locked doors and a year in the past away.”
And he’s right, I know he’s right, but—
“I don’t know,” I mutter, voicing the hangup in my head. “Why would he take more pictures?”
It doesn’t make sense.
“Because he’s a sick fuck, and if you want to hang out in here while I go scour the world real quick, then I’d be happy to bring you his balls.”
I blink at his matter-of-fact statement, everything about it ridiculous enough to have me snorting. “That might take a bit.”
“It’d be time well spent.”
“I can’t believe you threatened to spank me.”
His thumb stops suddenly, hand dropping from my face only to wrap around my waist. “Figured you needed to be shocked.”
