Page 178 of The Casualty of Us
Something,anything, because this is definitely not how I planned on telling him about my little trips to Wonderland.
But when I finally make it to my door and reach out for the wall to swing myself into my room, the sight of him maybe five steps behind me has me fully giving into the panic and sprinting for the note beside my computer. I snatch it up with a gasp before turning around to find him coming to a slow stop a few paces inside of my room. The shock playing out across his face is clear as his eyes seem to dart everywhere and I try to keep track of his line of sight. Suddenly finding my little piles of notes all over the floor a lot more incriminating now than they seemed before. His gaze finally makes it to the bookshelf that’s turned around before narrowing on what I’m guessing is the picture in the middle.
Probably the note beside it too since he’s still not moving.
“Ophelia.”
His gaze snaps to mine with the growl, and I jump, adrenaline spiking at the dark shade I find there. That primal part of my brain is screamingdangereven if I know he would never hurt me, and the air between us is pulsing with his own brand of anger. All of it happening in a couple of seconds that has my skin heating and, without a doubt, letting me know that I am so,soscrewed.
“It’s not as bad as it looks!” I lift my hands, taking a step back. “It’s really not.”
“So you haven’t been trading letters with someone who kidnapped and stalked you like you’re fucking pen pals?” hebites out, taking a purposeful step toward me that has my eyes flicking from side to side.
Trying to find any way out and only seeing the bathroom door to run for, I quickly rush out, “I mean, one could look at it like that, or you could see it as an opportunity to gather inform—eek!”
I spring for the door as he makes a grab for me, fingertips brushing against my back and my heart skipping a beat at the touch. Scrambling for the bathroom with my feet passing from the hardwood to the tile as I try to turn around to grab the door. My fingers close around the edge at the same time as his arm snags me around the waist, pulling me back hard and making my breath catch at the way every part of his front is suddenly pressed against my back. He closes his hand around the one of mine that has the note in it and lifts it up, giving me a clear line of sight to read through it for the thousandth time right along with him.
His chest collapses against my back with a rough sound right before he plucks the note none too gently from my fingers and tosses it onto the bathroom counter with an angry flick.
“Hey!” I try to protest the mishandling of my evidence, but he hauls me up against his chest, leaving my feet dangling as he starts to walk us toward the shower. “Hayes, Hayes, wait, hold—”
“I tried to warn you, baby.”
We pass over the threshold to the shower, and I start to wiggle around, anticipation and nerves surging even while arguing, “I didn’t break any promises! I didn’t lie!”
“Maybe.” He scoffs up an empty laugh while lowering me down in the corner of the shower and immediately crowding me. “Ask yourself something though.” He drops his head down beside mine, letting a beat pass before finishing softly. “How would you feel if you were me?”
Freezing me in place at the instant rage that flares to life in my chest again.
“That’s what I thought.”
Cold water hits me, and I gasp as the shower starts to rain down on us both a second before his hand comes down on my ass.
“Oh my—”
I barely get a sound out before he does it again, making the breath rush from my lungs all at once and leaving me speechless as he starts to massage the spot he just spanked.
“I could fucking turn your ass red for this.” That little swirl of smoke and shadows in him rises straight to the surface as he wraps his other hand around my hip and bites out. “How long?”
“That hurt,” I pout, some of the nerves giving way to more anticipation as his fingers continue to press into the muscle of my ass. “And not that long.”
“How.” He smacks my ass again twice in quick succession—hard—and it has me gulping for air as he adds, “Long.”
The burn that comes before he starts to immediately massage the area, making the story start to tumble out unevenly. “I dropped a c–copy ofHamletat the park with a key to a PO box inside on that last run we took before going back to school.” Everything low in me clenches at the hardness I feel when he presses himself into my ass for a second. “P–put a note in it telling him to insert his shitty poetry here.”
“Of course you did,” he mutters darkly, the hand on my hip moving around to slide down into my pajama shorts as I press back against him. “What next?”
“Uh—” I have to force myself to keep talking as his fingers find my clit with an unerring accuracy. “There was a note waiting when I came back for Thanksgiving with that picture.”
“And,” he drags out quietly, pressing down hard. “You didn’t think that might be the time to mention what was going onto me?” His fingers roll back and forth, and I toss my head back against his shoulder with a sharp cry. “When a fucking psychopath was inviting you to play a game with him?” He drops them down and pumps once inside of me before quickly pulling out to growl, “Asking you to choose between him and me?”
And despite how fast he’s pulling me under, I still fight to point out for his sake, “He could have been talking about Ol—”
“Don’t.” He smacks my ass harder than all the other times, and another cry bursts from me right before he pulls his hand from my pants. Quickly moving both of them to my hips and spinning me around to drop his forehead to mine. His eyes immediately take up my view with water rushing down behind him and some part of me notes that even now he’s still shielding me from most of the downpour. “You aremine.” His voice drops low, and I hold perfectly still. “Not his, mine.” One hand leaves my hip to slide back into my bottoms and cup me intimately. “I fucking told you that you do not get to play God when it comes to your life, Ophelia.” He gasps, dipping his fingers inside of me and making me do the same. “No more of this.” His gaze stays on mine as he starts to pump them in and out with small movements. “I swear I will not leave your side until you fucking understand that I would die if something happened to you.”
And the panic and frustration playing out across his face loosen the top of all the things I like to keep inside. His hazel eyes so completely full of the thing I’m about to give, even if the darkness in them is caused by it too. The cause and the cure. Just like he’s always been for me. I feel it though, the finality of him wrapping around all those little particles of my makeup as the words leave me on a soft breath. “I love you too.”
Not sure if it’s a curse or a promise in the end, really, but knowing there’s no more running from it. No getting him out from under my skin.
