Page 13 of The Casualty of Us
“Thanks,” I repeat before going for distraction. “So what’s your schedule like?”
We finish off the night by comparing schedules and learning that we share French, math, and science classes together, while her Friday is completely taken up by athletics. After that we toss out the empty containers from the food she brought back and say good night before retreating to our rooms, both of us wanting to make sure we have everything in order for class tomorrow morning. But it’s only after the door shuts behind me and I’m standing perfectly still that it hits me.
The isolation.
Like there are eyes in the walls of the perfectly innocent room staring back at me. Creeping along my skin with an itch that has my own lost screams reverberating in my ears. It has my heart pumping faster and my stomach dropping with nervous anticipation as the air in the room starts to take on a gravity. Pressure suddenly tangible and consolidating to press down on my chest with some dark corner of my mind flickering to life to scream—
“Ollie! Wake up!”
“Stop it.” I clench my fists, blinking rapidly and trying to anchor myself in the present. “Fucking stop it.”
I force myself to move through the quicksand, putting one foot in front of the other until I’ve built enough momentum to make it to the bathroom and strip my clothes off. I turn the shower to cold and quickly step underneath the icy spray to shock myself fully back into reality, gasping a few times as it hits me. Waiting another minute or two until my head is completely clear before turning the water to warm and quickly washing up. Throwing on my comfiest T-shirt and sweatpants when I get out, I tuck myself into bed with Ollie’s keycard resting in plain sight on the nightstand.
I won’t use it, though.
I can’t—not this first night, at least.
I need to make it alone tonight and not interrupt the hopeful bonding that’s happening in his room. Can’t have his roommates or mine knowing right off the bat just how fucked the kidnapping left me. Can’t. Can’t. Can’t.
I have to make it through tonight.
And if I can make it tonight…I can make it tomorrow night too. Maybe.
It’s my own damn fault, really. For leaning on Ollie so much after it all and snubbing my nose at the therapist, but—it’s just soeasy with us. He’s the other part of myself and probably worried as fuck right now too.
Which is also why I need to stay put.
Exactly. Right.
This will be good.
I reach over and hit the switch on the lamp, plunging the room into darkness while looping that thought through my mind. Lying back and pulling the covers up while settling into the comfy pillows, staring at the dark ceiling, and forcing myself to count out some slow breaths instead of the beat of my heart that just seems to be picking up again.
“Ollie! Ollie!”
Fuck.
Chapter Four
OPHELIA - AUGUST 2012
“Opheliaaaa.”
I roll over and groan at the voice, pleading in my head for five more minutes.
“Listen up, my little bookish princess!” A couple pounds punctuate the shout, and I finally crack my eyes at the noise. “Either you get up right now, or I’m leaving your ass. We only have an hour until our first class and some of us need to eat.”
Marley’s words slowly sink in for a couple of seconds before the reality of them has me sitting up suddenly. “Fuck.” I stumble out of bed while calling back, “Give me five!”
Already pulling my shirt off on the way to the closet and really hoping that I don’t look as bad as my body feels, I grab the first uniform there and change into the ensemble as fast as my sleep-deprived limbs will allow. Barely stopping to hang the tie uselessly around my neck before I shove my feet into a pair of black ballet flats and rush back to the bathroom, taking the time to brush my teeth since that’s a definite necessity and throwing on some blush so that I don’t look completely dead. I finish off the quick bathroom routine with some deodorant before making a run to grab my backpack and tossing the tablet inside since I’m guessing I’ll need it.
I open the door to find Marley standing on the other side of it, tapping her foot impatiently and staring at her phone. “Six minutes.” She looks up at me. “Your tie isn’t done, and your hair looks like you got banged last night, but overall, not bad.”
“Shut up.” I yawn at her. “Couldn’t sleep.”
“Rough,” she sighs sympathetically before turning to head for the door. “Come on.”
I follow after her while running my fingers through my hair in what’s most likely a useless attempt to get all the tangles out. Pushing into the mass exodus that’s happening in the hallway and heading for the stairwell at the end of the hall with the rest of the crowd, Marley falls into easy conversation with a couple of girls she must have met the day before, and I finally introduce myself after they throw about the fifth curious glance my way. Finding out their names are Evie and Kennedy, respectively, the first a strawberry-blonde who somehow has no clue who I am and the second a brunette with light-brown skin who definitely does but seems too polite to pry.
