Page 111 of The Casualty of Us
I don’t think I would’ve liked it.
“Plus, can you imagine two of your sister?” She laughs softly. “I couldn’t take the chance of unleashing that upon the world.” I snort at that, and she hums a little under her breath before sighing wistfully. “But not you, no, you were always my sweet boy.” She lifts her hand back to my cheek. “The only thing you ever struggled at was learning to share.”
Goddammit.
“Ophelia shared easily, surprisingly, but you…” She pauses, and my brain starts to scream at me to run fast because it’s a trap, but it’s already too late. “You pushed a boy down once for daring to ask if he could play with you two.” Her delicate browsfall over eyes that we both owe her for giving to us. “So is this more about your fear of losing her or your fear of losing her to someone else?”
I stare at her for a moment before ducking my head, knowing that she’ll sniff out the truth in a second and that I’d never lie to her anyway, but I still fucking hate admitting it. “I don’t know, both.” I clear my throat and reach for my phone on the counter, spinning it around for something to take the edge off. “I jump every time a door shuts at night, panicking over whether she’s still here or not, but on the other hand…” A deep breath escapes me as my mind walks its ass over to the other side of that road.
“The Flynn boy, yes?” she guesses correctly.
“Yeah,” I drag out, my stomach churning at finally acknowledging it. “I just…”
“What?” She pokes my side. “I thought you liked him?”
“I do.” I lift my head, finding her curious eyes on me and swallowing before trying to explain it. “It’s just—it’s like I help him because itfeelslike the right thing to do…”
“And?”
“And then when it ends up working or I see them together again, I get pissed that I helped him to begin with.” I shake my head, frustrated with myself and angrier at the entire situation because of it. “I don’t understand it. I—” Dropping my eyes back down while getting to the heart of what really sets me adrift here. “She picked him, Mom.” The truth of it that I can’t ignore. “She picked him. I was confused and mad and—” I try to calm the way my heart is starting to race before finishing quickly, “I was being stupid, but she picked him, and she’s never not taken my side before.”
“Hmm.” She hums next to me, leaning her arms on the counter and prodding. “Do you think it’s possible that maybe you’ve been fighting your sister so hard this summer because in a way it was like picking something else instead of her too?”
My head jerks back up, and I blink at her, completely caught off guard because that’s not the kind of shit I pull. It might be something O would, but me…
“No.” I shake my head adamantly. “No way. I just want to keep her safe, and I do like Hayes.”
“But…” She stares me down before rolling her hand, clearly telling meout with it.
Fuck.
“But how am I ever supposed to trust anyone with her?”
Especially some guy that’s already fumbled the ball, whether I like him or not, his short track record is not the greatest when it comes to reliability.
“She’s—she’s my baby sister, Mom.” I manage to choke out the phrase that’s one of the core tenets of my existence before adding, “And you know she’s special, that the world needs her even if she doesn’t think it does.” She gives me a quick nod, and I clench my jaw to stop the way it’s trying to shake before getting out, “How am I ever supposed to trust someone else with that? That part of myself?”
That someone won’t break her.
“You don’t trust them.” She reaches for my hand with a sad smile and gives it a squeeze. “You trust her, just like you always have.” Her face falls a bit. “But if you keep trying to hold onto her while she’s trying to grow, you will either kill her or lose her forever, Oliver.”
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I flinch at them.
“You are my sweet boy, and you will always be your sister’s protector.” She squeezes my hand even tighter. “But sometimes, we need a little more as we grow too, and you can’t punish her for that.”
Goddammit…why does she have to be—
“Fuck.”
“Language.” She gives a short laugh with the admonishment before letting go of my hand. “Now how about we—”
My phone starts to buzz against the butcher block, clattering loudly through the kitchen and drawing my gaze to the roommate in question’s name on the screen.
I pick up the phone with a frown. “That’s weird.”
“What?”
“Hayes is calling.” I dart my eyes over to her, trying to see if she’ll catch my drift. “He’s in Europe, and it’s almost midnight here, so…”
