Page 35 of Yours to Ho Ho Hold
Charlotte
I just love when this family comes together like this. It makes my heart so full and proud.
James
Me, too, Char. Me, too.
The bartender places my drink in front of me and quirks a brow. “That’s quite a festive drink you’ve got yourself. I don’t usually get those kinds of requests from someone sitting alone at a bar on Christmas. Usually, it’s whiskey straight.”
I sip my drink, the mix of chocolate and peppermint mingling on my tongue, reminding me of the hot cocoa Holly and I had just last night. It feels like a lifetime ago.
“I can see that, but the difference is I’m not drinking my sorrows away. I’m plotting a comeback, just biding my time while I make my plan.”
He tosses his towel over his shoulder and laughs. “You know what, there’s a first for everything. Merry Christmas, brother. Let me know if you need anything else.”
I smile to myself as I pull out my phone. I’ve got one more favor to ask.
ChapterFifteen
Holly
The heavy metaldoor slams behind me, and I drop my suitcase before collapsing in the plush king-sized bed, layered with all the pillows a girl could want. Now, this is my kind of bed.
I fluff a pillow and shove it between my knees as I turn on my side. The tears I’ve been holding back finally release.
I’m pathetic and a coward, and I don’t know why I have to keep tormenting myself like this. Why can’t I just be one of those people who accepts help? Why do I feel like I need to crawl on my knees over broken glass and hot coals to feel like I’ve earned something? Who am I really trying to prove myself to?
I throw my arm over my eyes as images of Drew’s larger-than-life smile flash through my mind, and I know without a shadow of a doubt I’ve just pushed away the only human—other than my parents—who truly supported me and wanted me to be happy.
Maybe I am a glutton for punishment. Maybe misery is all I’m comfortable with, and I’m not cut out to actually enjoy my life. It was fun pretending, though.
I’ll ride the high I’ve been on for the last three days for the rest of my life, living off the fumes of broken memories, of what could have been if only I was dealt a different hand, if I could go back in time and undo all my mistakes …
God, Holly, melodramatic much?
I wipe my eyes dry and mosey over to the mini bar, where I pour myself a drink. There’s not much of a selection, but a vodka cranberry seems fitting. I use a cinnamon stick to stir the liquid together as I make my way to the large balcony overlooking the shore.
The beach is empty; not a single footprint as far as the eye can see, with the only sound the waves crashing along the beach. It’s so beautiful and peaceful. You’d think it’d be the perfect escape from Christmas, but after spending the day with Drew and his family, it reminds me of the holiday that much more.
I cross my feet along the railing as I lean back in my seat and try to think of my next step. But just like every time I try to make myself figure out a new plan, I come up empty.
My phone buzzes to life on the metal table beside me, and I gnaw on my bottom lip as I gaze at the incoming call.
I suppose I can’t ignore them forever. I already missed their call during the flight this morning, and I can’t let Christmas go by without talking to them.
Sucking in a breath to mask my tears, I answer the call.
“Hey, Mom, sorry I missed your call earlier. My flight got rescheduled, and then I got caught up. How’s everything going on the cruise? Are you guys still having a good time?”
“Holly, baby, it’s so good to hear your voice,” my mother says. “Your father and I miss you so much. I hate we can’t be there with you on Christmas—”
“Mom, stop apologizing. I couldn’t let you miss a once in a lifetime vacation. Don’t worry about me, I’m great.” A knot forms in my throat, and I force out the lie, only I’m not so sure I sound convincing.
“Honey? What’s wrong? You don’t sound like yourself. Are you sure everything’s okay?” I hear my dad ask her something, and the phone muffles like she’s covering the receiver. “I think she’s been crying. No. Shh, hang on just a sec.”
Great. Here comes the interrogation.
I let out a long sigh, preparing myself for the slew of questions. My parents can never leave anything alone. They always feel the need to jump in and fix my problems for me. Hence, bailing me out of bankruptcy with their retirement savings. This time, though, there isn’t anything they can do to help. This is all on me.
