Page 28 of Yours to Ho Ho Hold
“When I saw the offers rolling in, I couldn’t believe it. I was already posting pictures for different brand deals, but these offers were for ten times the amount, and they were all really professional and respectful. It was an easy yes, and I’ve met so many cool people because of it. I’ve learned a ton, made connections with different studios and photographers and, of course, the authors. I’ve been a special guest at book signings and giant conferences. It’s been incredible.”
My dad lets out a long sigh and finally speaks. “Why didn’t you tell us, son? That sounds amazing and pretty damn stressful, if you ask me. We could’ve supported you, helped you with managing it all.”
I press my lips together, and he looks away. “I don’t know. It feels stupid to admit it, but I knew you guys wouldn’t…”
“Wouldn’t what?” Simon asks, drawing my attention to him.
I meet his eyes, and to my surprise, there’s no hint of a smirk on his face. I finally say, “You wouldn’t let it go. You wouldn’t drop the joke or let me live it down. I knew I’d hear the relentless teasing for the rest of my life.” I shrug. “And I just didn’t want to feel the weight of embarrassment when I was so excited about where this could lead.”
Simon’s eyebrows knit in confusion, and he shares a glance with Jamie. “Drew, you know we’re just teasing, don’t you?”
I lean forward and clasp my hands together, propping my elbows on my knees as I hold his gaze. “Yeah, I know. As I said, it’s dumb … I just … I don’t know, I guess sometimes I just want you guys to take me seriously.”
“I take you seriously,” Sam says, his words cutting through the thick air like a knife. “It’s easy to see this is something you’re passionate about, and I don’t give two fucks what it is. Don’t you dare feel ashamed or embarrassed about doing something you love. Not when you’re clearly so good at it. If it makes you happy, that’s all I need to know.” He pulls out his phone and starts typing. “I have a list of contacts I can reach out to right now. Just say the word and tell me what you’re looking for, and I’ll do everything in my power to help you.”
“He’s right,” my dad says, standing up and walking toward me. He pulls me up and wraps me in a tight hug. “Son, I know I tease you and your brothers, but I never want you to keep something from me because you’re afraid of what I’ll think. I’m so damn proud of you. I’m proud of all of you, and there’s nothing you can do to change that. You boys have already exceeded every expectation I had for you. Anything extra you do is just icing on top. Please don’t keep parts of yourself from me. I just want to be part of your life, to cheer you on and help you make your dreams come true in whatever way I can.”
“Thanks, Dad. I love you, too.”
“Your mother would be so proud of you. You remind me so much of her, with your tender heart. You’ve always been our special, gentle soul, and I am so sorry we hurt you by teasing you.”
“Thank you. That means a lot to me,” I say as I take my seat next to Holly again, and from the corner of my eye, it almost looks like Holly’s crying. I reach out and squeeze her knee, this time comforting her.
“I’m sorry, bro.” Jamie’s voice comes out in almost a whisper, and the room falls silent. It’s a rare thing for my younger brother to admit fault or for him to contribute to a serious conversation.
His eyes meet mine, and there’s a watery sheen to them like he’s holding back tears. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you and call you out in front of everyone. Well, I mean, I did mean to. I just didn’t realize you felt so strongly about it. I know I like to laugh and joke, and I like being the center of attention, so I figure you did, too. But that’s not fair to you, dude. I was a dick for calling you out, and you know I’m going to be in your corner cheering you on. I’ll hold the phone for you while you dance if that’s what you want.”
I have to hold in a laugh, so I don’t interrupt this rare, sentimental moment.
“I’ll help you style your mustache. I know I tease you about it, but it’s only because I’m jealous. You know I wanted a mustache first, but my hair’s not as dark as yours, so I had to go for the mullet instead.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, dude. I won’t tease you anymore or start up anything else.”
I hold up my hand. “Hey, now, I don’t want us to lose our familial sense of humor, so don’t get it twisted. I still expect the embarrassing punishments for losing a bet and all the other shit we say to each other. I just want to know you respect me, too. That’s all.”
My brothers look around and nod, and just like that, everything’s right in my world again.
“Well, now that we’ve got that dealt with, who’s up for a game of charades?” my dad asks, clapping his hands.
Holly tugs at my shirt, and I turn to face her. Her eyes are brimming with tears, and I can see she’s trying hard to hold them back.
“Hey, what’s the matter?” I run my finger along her cheek, and she catches my hand.
She shakes her head. “I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself. That was so incredible to watch how you all resolved something so maturely. Your family is so amazing. I can see why you love them so much.”
A fat tear falls down her cheek, and I swipe it away before pulling her up and leading her into another room. “I’m going to show Holly where the bathroom is. You can get started without us,” I call, but everyone’s too busy arguing about teams to notice.
I pull her into the bathroom and close the door. “Okay, now that we’re alone, tell me what’s really bothering you.”
She goes to the sink and splashes water on her face, then dabs it dry with a towel as I stare at her reflection in the mirror. I cross my arms as I wait.
“I don’t know. I guess I’m just missing my parents extra today.” She looks down at the sink, and I spin her to face me.
“That seems extremely understandable. What else?”
“I just feel so guilty. They’ll never have this huge family or a beautiful home of their dreams because of my mistakes, because I fucked things up for them. They had to win their dream vacation from a podcast rather than buying it themselves.”
I lift her chin to meet my eyes. “Hey, that’s not on you. Your parents made a choice, and if they’re anything like you say, then there’s no way they resent you for that. They love you, Holly. All they want is for you to be happy.”
“That’s just it. I’m not happy either. So, they wasted their life savings on me for nothing.” Another tear flows down her cheek, and she sucks in a shaky breath.
