Page 33 of Yours to Ho Ho Hold
She bites her quivering lip, but when she looks up at me, I see the tears she’s trying to hold back, and my hand itches to wipe them away, to comfort her. But she’s not mine to comfort; she never really was. Maybe all this was just a dream, and it’s all coming to a halting stop as I’m finally waking up.
“I’m so sorry, Drew. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you thought I was. But I guess it’s better you realize it now …” Her voice trails off.
“The reservation is under your name,” I say, “I’ll get your bags for you.” I start to get up, but she stops me.
“No. I’ve got it.” She walks around to the back, grabs her bags, and just like that, she’s gone.
My heart squeezes in my chest, and I pound my fist against the steering wheel, feeling everything shattering around me. The high I’ve been riding for the last three days comes crashing down, and I can’t make sense of it.
What was the point of any of it?
It was never just about the sex for me; though the sex was off-the-charts amazing. When I looked into Holly’s eyes, I felt like I was seeing the other piece of my soul. Like I didn’t realize I was missing a piece of myself until I found it in her.
And now she’s gone, and I’m left with the giant gaping hole. Only now I know it’s there, and the pain is so excruciating I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to move on.
I catch sight of her purse lying on the floorboard. When I bend down to pick it up, a tube of shiny bright red lip gloss falls into my lap.
The name on the lip gloss reads: Holly Berry Mint.
Somehow, the idea of this Christmas-hating woman buying Christmas-themed lip gloss with her name on it makes me fall for her that much harder.
She’s so full of shit. I could see it all over her face that she loved Christmas, but she wouldn’t let herself enjoy it because, for whatever fucking reason, she thinks she needs to be a martyr, and she doesn’t deserve it.
So fucking stubborn.
I grip the small tube in my fist as my phone buzzes. I swipe open my family group message to find a string of messages.
Charlotte
Just checking in. I made you a plate and put it in the microwave. Let us know when you get Holly settled into the hotel.
Dad
Did you tell her you were sorry? Did you actually say the words I’M SORRY?
Simon
Dad’s right. Did you?
Jamie
Do you think Dad’s boner is what pushed her away? Checks out if you ask me …
Charlotte
James! What if you scared the poor girl away???
Sam
Why don’t we all chill with the family group texts and give Drew some space?
Dad
Just trying to help. I’m sorry I acted out boner in front of your girlfriend, Andrew. I accept full responsibility for my actions.
Charlotte
I love to see the accountability, James. Thank you for taking ownership of your actions
