Page 24 of Pretty Please Me
I sit the papers on the bed and flap my hands as I try to calm myself by pacing back and forth across the bedroom. I know Sam—or I thought I did anyway—and this… this seems so intense…
A cool shiver works its way up my spine, and the hairs on my arms stand on end as a wave of excitement jolts through me. I’m terrified yet exhilarated, and the intensity is making me feel like I may explode.
Am I really up for this?
I walk over to the giant window that stretches from the floor to the ceiling to take in the magnificent city beneath. The breathtaking view is a constant reminder of how big the world is and, inversely, how limited my experiences have been.
Maybe this is what I need to push myself, to really start living life to the fullest and experiencing the full spectrum of human emotion. Maybe this will show me exactly what I’ve been missing. Maybe this is the journey Damian was talking about.
It’s scary, that’s for sure, but I trust Sam, and I know he wouldn’t do something to hurt me. I pace back to the bed and pick up the contract, its heft a physical representation of the weight of my decision.
I dive back in with a more open mind and continue reading.
Section Two: Safe Words
The use of safe words will be expected during the entire duration of the contract in public and private settings.
Red will indicate an immediate stop to all activities
Yellow will indicate an approach to the limits and will be used as a warning to slow down/check-in
Green will be used to indicate pleasure/encouragement
Okay, well, that seems smart and not too intimidating. Knowing I always have an out relieves some of my nervousness, though, for the life of me, I can’t imagine what I’d need to use them for. It’s not like I have a long list of sexual experiences to compare to, but they’ve mostly been uneventful and over within a couple of minutes.
I flip the page over, and my eyes nearly bug out of my head when I see the long list of sexual limits, which includes some things I’ve never even heard of.
But why are they all marked out?
When I get to the second to last page, I find a note written at the bottom.
The Dominant is willing to participate in the following sexual activities with the Submissive for the duration of the contract.
Kissing
Touching of breasts, nipples, and genitals
Oral sex where the Submissive is the recipient
Light anal play
Vaginal intercourse
I bite my lip as I read through the tiny list, and I don’t know whether to be embarrassed or relieved that he doesn’t think I can handle any more than the basics. I make a note to ask him about it tonight. A thin sheen of sweat breaks out on my upper lip as I work my way down the list and sign my initials by each act, pausing for only a moment when I get to light anal play. It’s not something I’ve ever considered, nor can I understand why it’s on the list, but I trust that Sam knows what he’s doing and probably knows more about these things than I do. I sign my initials without giving it any more thought and move on to the next section.
Section Three: Limits
Please indicate any and all limits from the list of sexual activities. If the limit is not already listed, please provide it will as much detail as possible.
I read through the list, and since I only have five choices of what Sam’s willing to do with me, I don’t see any reason to list any other limits, not that I’d even know what they’d be anyway. I knew I was inexperienced, but after reading this contract, I’m wondering if I’m even living in the same world as everyone else. I feel like an alien who thought she was human all her life and is just now realizing she’s different.
Oh, well, I may be a little behind, but you know what they say,the best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago… and the second best time is today.
I flip back through as I read over my answers when the sexual health agreement catches my eye.
Both the Submissive and the Dominant agree to undergo sexual health screening prior to any shared sexual activity.
I jot down an amendment in the margins, surprised he overlooked something so basic, but it must’ve been an oversight. I set the papers down, ready to sign when we meet later today. I have no idea what happens next, and for the first time in my life, I’m actually okay with that.
