Page 67 of Wild for You
“Maggie, what am I going to do?” I wipe my swollen eyes with the back of my hand, and she bites her lip in thought.
“Listen, sweetie.” She pulls me into a hug. “Let’s just slow down and take a minute before we rush any decisions. You’re in shock right now, and that’s a completely normal response. Let’s focus on getting you feeling better.” She pulls away and pushes the hair out of my face as she studies me. “We’re going to figure this out, but we just need to take one thing at a time. Do you want me to see if I can call Jack—”
“No!” I interrupt as a fresh wave of tears burns behind my eyes. “I can’t tell him right now. Mags, promise me you won’t tell him,” I beg. “I need you to stall until I figure out what I’m working with.” I bite my thumbnail as I try to think. “I’m going to tell him,” I assure her. “I just need some time to figure out how all of this works. Do you promise to keep this a secret just between you and me?”
Maggie’s eyes go wide, and she looks around the room, then down to the phone in her hands. “Gwen, you know I hate lying,” she whispers.
I grip her shoulders, forcing her to look me in the eyes. “I need you to keep this a secret. It’s just between you and me, understand? No one else can know … not even Elliot. Please, Mags.”
She nods her head and grips the phone tighter.
“I’ve got cherry Jell-O and bone broth!” The nurse calls from behind her cart, cutting the tension like a hot knife through butter.
“That’s my cue!” Maggie singsongs. “I’ll just step outside and give you some privacy.” She walks backward and gestures over her shoulder.
I take the cup of cherry Jell-O as guilt pricks at my chest. I feel terrible about keeping this from Elliot, but there’s no way I can trust her with a secret like this. She’s too much of a loose cannon.
* * *
A few hours later,I’m lying in my hospital bed staring at the ceiling when the nurse appears in front of me with a wheelchair.
“Miss Pierson, it’s time for your ultrasound.”
I try to push myself to a sitting position, but my arms are too shaky, and the nurse jumps in to help me. “You poor dear. Here, let me help you.” She pulls me up and helps me move to the wheelchair. It’s only then, when I’m looking down at the contours of my legs in my hospital gown, that I realize just how sickly I appear. How could Jack find this version of me attractive, and how could this fragile body support another life? It all just feels surreal.
I zone out as she leads me through the hallways, passing windows and doors that all look the same. Jack could be behind any of those doors. It’s strange that he’s so close but might as well be miles away.
“Here we are.” The nurse scans her badge, and the lock beep as the door opens, revealing a small dark room, only lit by a sonogram monitor.
I suck in a breath and climb on the examination table with a racing heart and sweaty palms. The heaviness of this moment is not lost on me as I realize no matter what we find, my life will forever be changed.
“This may be a little uncomfortable, but I’ll be gentle.” The ultrasound technician pulls a long thin wand from her rolling desk and squeezes some kind of gel on the tip.
“What are you going to do with tha—”
My question is answered as she guides the wand right into my—
“Whoa now!” I flinch. “Where do you think you’re going with that?”
She laughs. “I take it this is your first time having a vaginal ultrasound. “Just relax. This is the best way for us to see what’s going on in there.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and do my best to relax as the cold, lubed-up wand goes inside me. This is so strange on so many different levels.
A rushing swooshing sound plays through the speakers, and I peel my eyes open to see what she’s discovered. There’s a small white bean on the screen, and confusion pulls at my brows. A sinking feeling pools in the pit of my stomach, and I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness. It was silly to actually think I could be pregnant. I should’ve known they’d gotten it wrong. I let my head fall back as I remind myself this is good news. Now nothing in my life has to change. Maggie doesn’t have to keep any secrets, and everything can return to normal.
“Ah, there we go,” the ultrasound tech says. She clicks a few buttons, drawing lines on the bean-looking thing before she continues. “There’s your baby, Miss Pierson. That’s the heart over here.” She clicks again, and I sit up in a rush, knocking my paper blanket to the floor.
“What do you mean?” I gasp, pointing at the screen. “It doesn’t look like a baby. Are you sure that’s not my bladder or something?”
She laughs. “You’re full of jokes today, aren’t you! It’s the beginning of a baby. You’re measuring just over eight weeks.” She pulls the device from me and cleans it off as I process this new information.
“Eight weeks?” I do my best to calculate back, but it’s no use. I barely have any reference for time on the island, especially after the last few days when we were as good as dead.
“Everything looks great. You did a good job taking care of this little bean, mama.” She rolls back in her chair as my nurse helps me back to my wheelchair.
Mama? The word hits me in the chest like a boulder, and I blink several times as she leads me out of the room and into the hallway. There are many titles I’ve carried over the years. Friend, enemy, employee, daughter, and my newest title girlfriend … but never did I ever expect to be called a mother.
I try to swallow the lump in my throat, but it only grows larger.
