Page 36 of Wild for You
“Well, if we were in the states, yes, we’d cut the head and tail off for a more appetizing experience. But out here, we need all the calories we can get.” He gestures toward my stomach, which seems to be shrinking by the day. I’ve always been on the thin side of curvy, but over the last four days on this island, I’ve noticed my bones protruding more than usual.
“I just feel like I shouldn’t have to look the poor thing in the eye as I eat him. It feels disrespectful.”
Jack laughs. “What’s disrespectful is that pathetic excuse of abikiniyou’re wearing.” His eyes scan up and down my body, and warmth pools at my center. I think about his large calloused hands; how they’d feel roaming my body; how his tongue felt in the broom closet.
What happened to the corporate follow-the-rules Gwen, and who is this carefree woman I’m slowly turning into? Maybe a part of me doesn’t actually think we’ll ever get off this island, so what’s the point of denying ourselves all the pleasure we want? But the other part of me doesn’t know what I want even if wedomake it home.
I’m so confused.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Jack’s question brings me back to the moment, and I blush.
“I was just thinking about home,” I admit.
“Yeah? Anything in particular?”
“I don’t know,” I shrug. “It’s just all of this.” I look around at the cloudless sky, plush trees, and sandy beaches for as far as the eye can see. “This is so simple … and peaceful. I guess it’s kind of nice.”
“Yeah?” He slides a skewer through the other half of the fish and covers them with the basket to keep any flies away until dinner. “You’re not lonely for your work? You don’t miss city life?”
His question makes me pause, and I consider it. I’m surprised when I shake my head as the realization hits me. “Not really. How about you?”
Jack stands, taking my hand to lead us closer to the beach. “Sometimes I think I could spend my whole life out here, alone, surviving off the land.” He pauses. “But there’s a part of me that wants more.” He sighs. “You know the family, the house, the dog. But those are just pipe dreams,” he says, his smile fading.
My eyebrows lift, astonished at his confession. “Who says you can’t have it all, Jack?”
“I learned a long time ago that I’m not really cut out for long-term commitment. I change my mind too much. I need the freedom of all of this.” He gestures around himself. “If I were to settle down, marry someone, start a family, it wouldn’t be fair to them, and it wouldn’t be fair to me either. I don’t want to resent anyone. It’s just the smartest move all around.”
He leads me to sit down and comes behind me, straddling my body with his legs. Then he slides my hair over my shoulder to massage my back. His touch sends chills down my spine, and my sore muscles cry out in glee as his strong hands work out my knots.
An accidental whimper escapes, and I tense, not wanting him to tease me about being so soft. But he doesn’t react. He just keeps his pace, rolling his knuckles in that heavenly motion as I melt into him. “So, no family, then?” I tease, poking him in the side.
He flinches. “I can’t even take care of myself half the time.” He rubs his brow. “It’s not that I don’t want a family. Lord knows my mother and sisters would lose their minds if I reproduced.” His smile is so big now that I can see all of his perfectly straight white teeth. The contrast is so vivid next to his dark beard. “I just don’t want to let anyone else down, ya know?”
“Who else have you let down?” The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them.
Jack shrugs. “Well, for starters, you’re here because of a fuck up of mine.” He grimaces. “There’s also the minor plane crash—”
“That one wasn’t your fault,” I add. “I mean, I hate to admit it, but it was my cell phone that ruined your navigation system.” I grimace. “I really thought that the whole no cell phones on a plane thing was a myth. They should really emphasize that more, you know?”
This earns me a laugh. “They kinda do, but I suppose you’ve never been on such an old plane before.” He boops me on the nose. “I’ll agree. We can share the blame on that one.” He straightens his shoulders. “But I could kick myself for causing the swimming incident today.” He pulls at his long strands of hair in frustration. “It feels like everything I do puts you in more danger.”
“How were you supposed to know I couldn’t swim?” I say, trying my best to cheer him up. “Besides, you’ve literally saved my life like three times already.” I lean back and nudge him with my shoulder. “I think you’re selling yourself short. You could do anything you wanted to do. I really believe that.”
“Anything?” He winks.
“Almostanything.” I bite my lip. We’re wading closer and closer into the unknown here, and I don’t know whether I should run away or toward him.
“How about you? You want kids, the house, the dog?” He finds a knot, and I groan as he works it out with his thumb. God, this man really knows how to use his hands.
“I’m not sure.” My answer comes out before I can second guess it. “I used to be completely closed off to the idea because my parents are so terrible, but the longer I’m away from the hustle and bustle of the city, I feel like maybe there’s room for something else.” I shrug. “I guess I’m still figuring myself out right now.”
Jack’s hands must have some type of truth serum—either that or the midday sun is hypnotizing me because I’ve never been this honest with anyone, not Elliot or Maggie. Hell, not even with myself.
“Well, I say there’s no rush. You’ve got to follow your heart and let yourself discover what you want through your own experiences. Then when an opportunity presents itself, you’ll know what you want because you’ve actually lived.”
A small smile creeps up my face, and I lean into him, letting him wrap his arms around me. “Yeah, maybe so.”
A quiet moment passes before I speak. “A dog, huh?”
