Page 181 of Relentles
Christopher laughed bitterly. “No, Johnnie, ain’t no fuckin’ explainin’. You betrayed my fuckin’ confidence. Ain’t ever forgivin’ that. When you fuckin’ die, whenIfuckin’ kill you, I wantcha to know how fuckin’ much I hate you.”
Megan and Kendall were as pale as ghosts. Digger, Derby, Val, and Brooks were gray. Yet, other than Megan losing all her color, she remained silent, perfectly still, and expressionless.
Johnnie raised his hands. They shook. “I…Christopher…I didn’t betray you—”
“Shut the fuck up. No rationalizin’ in the motherfuckin’ world can justify what the fuck you did.Noneof what you do, includin’ tellin’ Megan I was unhappy, I didn’t change for her, and I would seek out another bitch. What the fuck I wanna know iswhy? Betrayin’ me wasn’t bad enough? You used my wife to do it.”
For that alone, he delivered a punch that knocked Johnnie off the stool. Christopher stormed from behind the bar, shutting out the voices and not hearing the one that mattered the most.
“Why, Johnnie? You fuckin’ motherfucker.”
He kicked Johnnie. Kendall screamed.
“Why, Johnnie?”
“Prez, the kids,” Mort said in a ragged voice.
The reminder stopped him from kicking Johnnie in the fucking head. He staggered to his feet.
“Why?” Christopher repeated.
“Because—”
“Cuz you workin’ with Bash to fuck with Megan? You tryna protect her from Bash by runnin’ her away? Kendall involvedtoo, so you think you can handle that motherfucker on your own?”
The horror on Brooks’s face before he fucking fainted told Christopher he was going in the right direction. Johnnie’s “Jesus fucking Christ,” confirmed it.
Allowing Megan to hear the conversation and put all those other fucking thoughts into her head paled in comparison to the idea that Johnnie purposely endangered her life.
Christopher backed away, a painful lump rising in his throat. “Digger, take his weapons. Johnnie, gimme your cut. Mort, get Brooks.”
“I can explain,” Johnnie said dully.
No one moved to follow Christopher’s orders.
“It isn’t what you think,” Johnnie added.
Out of the corner of his eyes, Christopher saw Kendall stumble toward them. Killing her would be cold-blooded murder. Long ago, he’d stopped hating her and accepted her as a member of his family. She was behaving. Surviving her suicide attempt changed her. She turned into a better ma and wife, and realized they were a group, each contributing a little piece to make them who they were. That’s all he’d ever wanted from Kendall—her cooperation.
Killing Johnnie and Brooks would loosen the screws in Kendall’s head and unleash her insanity. He wouldn’t deal with her level of crazy that would follow the deaths of her husband and her father figure. Christopher would have no choicebutto kill her.
Brooks groaned. Kendall squeezed between Johnnie and Mortician. She was trembling, one screw already unhinging in her brain. But it wasn’t anger dripping through that crack, It was pain and devastation. It was the type of hurt that sucked away everything, even the will to live.
She lifted a teary gaze to Christopher. “Johnnie has made mistakes, but he loves the club and he loves you.”
It was Christopher’s turn to flinch, partly because he believed her. Johnnie was just a stupid motherfucker. Mostly, though, it was his own pain. He’d trusted Johnnie and believed in him. The betrayal cut so deep, he didn’t know if he’d ever fully heal.
Was that how Megan felt? Was there a lesson to be learned from what he’d just gone through with his wife? He could imagine her fighting to believe him, believeinhim, when the evidence was stacked against him.
He’d wrung her dry, hurling insults and accusations. Betraying her in so many ways.
“Johnnie would never betray you by hiding something so grave from you, Christopher.”
Kendall calling him by his Christian name was a big fat ‘no’ for him. He didn’t give a fuck. She could’ve called him motherfucker, and it wouldn’t have mattered.
He glanced at Megan. Still nothing. He hated Johnnie and himself a little more. They were the reason she’d turned into a block of ice.
“I…” Kendall sucked in a breath. “I’m beggingyounot to hurt Johnnie. He’d never risk Meggie or me or the club.” Her sob drew Roxanne to her side. She turned. “Roxy, talk to him. I can’t live with my Johnnie. I love him.”
