Page 25 of CTRL+ME
But when it comes down to it, I’m just the nanny.
What if she didn’t want her parents to meet me? Is she possibly even embarrassed?
Thewhat ifscould go on for days, and they do in my head, for the rest of the day, and well into the night. The thoughts stalk my every movement while completing my weekend routine that Tatum had given me for the start of the week prep.
I’m in her house… God forbid something did happen to Tatum; I’m going to be suspect number one. But she has cameras in here, they would?—
She has cameras in here!
I’m off the couch and running to the computer she has set up in her office, praying to the devil herself that the thing isn’t password-protected for some stupid reason.
Shaking the mouse, I nearly pass out from excitement when the unlocked computer screen pops up. I go to the little app on the screen that has the camera surveillance icon and am graced with hours of footage.
I scroll to the bedroom camera, back to the fuck-fest that took place right before we passed out.Now fast-forwarding, I see her phone screen lighting up a few times. Tatum doesn’t stir until the third call, and I watch as she picks it up and her face goes ghostly white.
I find the volume, because of course Tatum’s cameras would have audio access too. I turn it up, right on time to hear her shaking voice.“Get her to the emergency room. I’ll be there as soon as I can, and have them call me if they need any permissions.”
It has to be Josie…
TWENTY
SLEEP DEPRIVATION & VULNERABILITY
TATUM
“I know, Mom,” I say for the eighteenth time, pinching the bridge of my nose while I nod through her high-pitched worries. “I’ll call you if anything changes, I promise you.”
“We got very lucky that Josie’s fever broke so soon. If you need any help, call me and I’ll drive right to you,” she assures me. I love her to death, and I appreciate the sentiment, but at this point, I just want to get my daughter home and safe, where she’ll never leave my side again at this rate.
“Okay, it’s been a long twenty-four hours for Josie. I’m going to get her home now because we still have a hell of a drive.” I pause when she doesnothing more than stare at me. “I promise to text you when we get home, and I’ll keep you updated.”
I pull the barely comforted woman to my chest and hold her tight. “I love you, Mom.” Though living so far, she’s never made me feel any less loved. I only halfway believe that this woman who refuses to drive herself anywhere would do such a thing.
“I love you both. Get home and try to get some rest.” She kisses my cheek before I turn to put Josie’s car seat into the car, double-checking each strap in the process.
We’re on the road in no time, but the drive is even longer than anticipated. Jo is overly tired and needs real rest, so we pull over several times for her to comfort nurse before getting back on the road. What should’ve been a four-hour drive turns to six, and the sun is setting as we cross city limits.
I try hard the entire distance not to worry about Lylah, but I can’t help myself. She has no way of knowing what happened, and given our short relationship time frame, I obviously haven’t had the chance to memorize a phone number yet.
“Fuck.” My hands slam against the wheel, wondering if my rush could’ve damaged what we were creating. I don’t regret running out the door for Josie; I would drop everything and then some formy daughter, but that doesn’t mean Lylah didn’t deserve some sort of explanation.
Sitting in the hospital holding Josie through the IV placement, waiting for answers while her fever slowly dipped was excruciating. I never would've pictured myself wanting or needing anyone else by my side through it, but my chest ached for Lylah to be there with us.
How does someone go from a stranger to a source of comfort in just a few short days? It’s wrong of me to wish that type of pressure on her so soon, and I just hope what I’m feeling isn’t one-sided.
The motion lights spark to life as I stop the car in the driveway. My forehead rests against the wheel for a few moments while I catch my breath, and my thoughts. Josie is asleep once more, and as badly as I want to be inside, taking a nice hot shower while she sleeps the rest of her sickness off, I can’t bring myself to disturb her. A few more tears fall, but I chalk them up to stress.
When I lift my head to wipe my cheeks, Lylah stands in front of the car, hands held together in front of her, just staring at me through the windshield. Her features drip with worry the entire time I roll Josie’s window down before stepping out of the car.
“Is she okay?” Lylah asks, true concern in her eyes.
“She’s much better now. It must have been a fluke, thankfully, or a quick virus.” I take a breath and peek at her through the window, still snoozing away. “Wait, how did you know?”
“Well, when I waited hours with no sign of you, I tried to call, but heard your phone ringing in your bedroom. After running myself through every scenario of you being kidnapped and murdered while on a run, I got frantic and checked the security feed on your computer. By the grace of the devil, I was able to find the moment you answered a call, and I just hoped that it was the reason you were so flustered that you’d leave your phone at home and go missing for hours.”
“Thank fuck, you’re good at snooping.”
We awkwardly laugh at the sentiment before both of our expressions become more serious. Iseparate her hands and bring one to my cheek, holding her gaze as I speak.
