Page 2 of Role Play
“Yes, we can,” Rich said, his voice even and calm. “But that isn’t going to help us, moving forward, to get the focus of future scenes correct. We can fix the mistakes as they happen, but if we don’t address and alter the actual problem, then we’re not truly solving anything, arewe?”
I pressed my lips together and felt my face flamehot.
Rich sighed and lifted a cup of coffee, sipping it before continuing. “BDSM is a weird thing, isn’tit?”
My shoulders knotted around my ears. I wasn’t exactly protective of my lifestyle; I didn’t care who knew I was a Dominant, but I didn’t like it being called weird either. It was kink—a damn fun one if you asked me—and I wasn’t broken or emotionally damaged because I enjoyed it. I was broken because of other shit, but not because of this. So hearing my boss, someone I admired and respected, call me weird wasn’t exactly what I was ready for this morning before I’d even had a chance to have my fucking coffee. When I started in the lifestyle, I was fine. Healthy. Emotionally in tact.Happy.So fuckinghappy.
Some men become hermits after a loved one dies. I, on the other hand, dove headfirst into sex as my escape. I felt guilty the first few times, but ultimately, Brie had been the one to teach me that sex and intimacy weren't exclusive. She had been the one to show me how emotionally freeing sex and the scenes could be. I told myself daily that I needed it to move on from her—but the truth? Being an active Dominant in the community was what kept mecloseto her.She was a masochist—she loved pain. And before Brie, I’d never enjoyed sadism. Before Brie, I never enjoyed a lot ofthings.
Beside me, Jude cleared his throat. “How do you mean that, Rich?” he asked, way calmer than me, but also, if you knew Jude at all, he was just as concerned by what Rich said as Iwas.
Richard examined us, his eyes drifting to my hands, clutching my knees. “Relax,” Rich said. “I know you’re both Dominants. I’m not callingyouweird… I'm saying that the different perceptions of it can bestrange.”
I inhaled a sharp breath as Jude and I exchanged quick looks. “You know we’re Doms?” Iasked.
Rich shrugged. “Of course. I recognized it in you the second we first met eight years ago. Jude, it took me a little longer to figure out, simply because he is quieter of the two of you. Do you belong to aclub?”
“LnS,” I said quietly. Jude and I had been exclusive members at LnS, a secret BDSM club, for years. As far as I knew, there were only ten clubs similar to LnS in all of California. LnS had private quarters in the upstairs section of the fetish club. Downstairs was a normal goth bar—it had elements of the BDSM lifestyle, but in a playful, voyeuristic way. Upstairs? That was the real thing. A place for high profile Los Angeles personalities to get their kink on without being outed. It was highly secretive. And the club made sure that you didn’t mention a word about its members to anyone. They had files of dirt on every member, and revealing anything would result in them leaking your darkest secret to the tabloids, orworse.
Out of reflex, I touched my fingers to Brie's ring again, cursing myself for the nervoustick.
I stood, moving to the French press Richard kept in the corner of his office, and poured myself acup.
From across the room, still seated behind his desk, Richard nodded. “LnS. Of course. I was never a member there. It came after I had left thescene.”
My coffee mug froze halfway to my mouth. “So, then you're a...?” I let the question dangle between us like a swingingpendulum.
"A Dom," Richard answered. If he was fazed by the question, it didn't show. It wasn’t exactly a shock that Richard was also a Dom. Everything about his personality screamed it. From the strict regimen he had in the mornings, to the way he commanded a room from the moment he walked in. But just because someone was powerful in a boardroom didn’t necessarily mean they were like that in the bedroom. Hell, I knew high-powered attorneys and senators who spent so much of their professional life in charge that when it came to the bedroom, they wanted a someone to dominate them.“I’m not a part of that life anymore, but that doesn’t mean I don’t respectit.”
Again, I snuck a glance at Jude, and his expression shifted so subtly that, if you didn’t know him, you wouldn’t have even noticed the quick twitch of his brow. “Is this why we were both chosen to work on this film?” he asked. “Because you knew we were each in thelifestyle?”
Rich nodded. “That was part of it. I knew that by being in the lifestyle, you could both bring a nuance to your roles in the film. But it wasn’t the sole reason.” Rich paused. “That being said, there’s still something lacking in last week’sshoot.”
“Lacking?” Defensive anger inflated in my gut like a helium balloon. “We’ve been working our assesoff—”
“I know, I know. But I see what I see, Ash. Don’t take this the wrong way. The studio has a lot of money in this and we want it to do well.” He cleared his throat, setting his coffee mug down and resting his elbows on the desk. “Jude, you reviewed some of the footage with me. What do youthink?”
Jude chewed the inside of his cheek in thought for a moment before turning to me. “He’s not wrong. Something’s off with the shots. Like I said before, it’s partially the script and interpretation of the script. And I think we made a casting mistake in the supporting role. Chase is a good guy and a good actor, but I think we should have gone with Pierce Whitley to play mybrother.”
I took a deep breath. “I begged you and the producers to go with Pierce. He’s an incredible actor and he’s been wanting to break out from his HBOshow.”
Jude put up two hands in surrender. “I know, I know. And I can see now that you’reright.”
Rich nodded, pressing his fingers to his lips, deep in thought. “I can admit when I’m wrong. Pierce is the better actor for thisrole.”
“How air-tight is Chase’s contract?” Iasked.
“We could buy him out,” Rich said quickly. “None of our contracts are air-tight.” Jude cleared his throat beside us, and Rich rolled his eyes. “Except yours, of course. Let’s touch base with Pierce Whitley and make sure he could still commit to the role. No need to fire Chase and stir the pot if Pierce is no longeravailable.”
I nodded, my heart pounding at the thought of getting Pierce in here for the role. His interpretation could change the whole tone of the film, and for thebetter.
Just as I was feeling better, Rich cleared his throat and added, “But there’s something else that’s been bothering me with these shots. I get the feeling that the perspective is wrong.” Rich tapped the mouse, rewinding the footage and letting it roll silently before us as he spoke. “It’s very focused on the lifestyle itself versus the fact that the true story is about entry into the lifestyle—the learning process that begins when someone is first introduced as a submissive. I started as a submissive… trained as one first before becoming a Dom, which I know is how a lot of usentered.”
“I started as a sub, too,” Judesaid.
I sat there silently and swallowed hard. I didn’t want to talk about my entry into the lifestyle. Icouldn’ttalk about Brie’s involvement in BDSM and our time together. I couldn’t destroy her legacy, betray her like that. I might not care who knew about my kink, but she definitely cared.And therefore, I couldn’t answer Rich’s unspoken question. Couldn’t share our journey together. Explain that Brie trained me as a Dominant, not a submissive. That she guided me, formed me into the best Dominant I could be for her. Because I didn’t care about learning to be a Dom for anyone else. I never thought I’d have tobe.
I opened my mouth to answer, my voice cracking. “I—”
