Page 43 of Conflicted Fate
“We do?” she asked. “About what?”
“Don’t,” I said, my voice thickening as I shook my head. “Just don’t. I know the truth. Kiel told me.”
The blood drained from her face.
My dad finished closing the door and was looking between us, pure confusion on his face.
“He doesn’t know?” I asked, staring at my mother.
It started with her shoulders, then moved to her face, her entire body sagging in defeat. She knew what this was all about. Any last confusion had left her.
“I don’t know what?” he said.
“Later,” I said as gently as I could, patting him on the shoulder. “Okay?”
“Um, okay,” he said. “The city is safe, you said? Why don’t I go to the market, then. Leave you two to talk.”
“Thanks,” I said, still not looking at him.
He made another curious noise, then busied himself with leaving. The entire time, my mother and I just stared at one another. Neither said a word until long after he had left.
“Jada—”
“You lied.”
The two words cut through whatever she was going to say, silencing her. Her eyes glittered with unshed tears. She wanted to speak, I knew, but I wasn’t done. I had to get it out, get all my feelings out, or I knew I might never find the courage to speak it.
“You lied about everything,” I said. “How? How could you do it? You literallymade a childto serve the rebellion.”
A choked-back sob was the only sound she made.
“I—I don’t know if I’m disgusted with you or impressed by your dedication to the cause, if I want to disown you, or maybe I’m all of the above.” Somehow, I kept myself from yelling. “Why would you never tell me any of this? Why hide it?”
Trembling, my mother drew a long, slow breath in, same as I’d done before crossing the street. Not that I doubted I was her daughter. We looked too much alike forthatto ever be in doubt.
“I should have,” she whispered.
“You’re damn right you should have!” That time, I yelled, unable to hold it back. “Why didn’t you?”
“I fell in love,” she said with a helpless shrug. “With your father. He’s my mate, Jada. I love him, and I didn’t want to put any pressure on him or you. You’re my daughter.”
“That you had because you wanted a weapon.”
“I had an ulterior motive for getting together,” she said, standing up straight. “Yes, that’s true. But you are my daughter, and don’t you for asecondthink you were unwanted as my child as well or that you were ever not loved. Any plans faded as things between your father and I became real.”
“And what about me? Why not tell me?”
She sighed. “Because I’m your mother, Jada, and that changed everything. I wanted to shelter you. To keep you safe. Kiel swore to me that he would never force me to give you up, that you would never be forced into joining. It was all voluntary. You had tochooseit. And until your Fate Night, you never showed any sort of interest in the idea. So, I didn’t tell you, and I tried to let you live your life as Jada, without anyone else’s expectations on you.”
I looked away.
“I tried to do right by you, Jada, because Ilove you.”
“If I wasn’t here,” I said softly, staring past her at a blank spot on the wall, “if you hadn’t forced me into being, then Lanna would still be alive. Because I wouldn’t have killed her.”
The tears faded, replaced by a colder, more judgmental look.
“Do you feel better now?” she asked in a tone just as frigid.
