Page 44 of Conflicted Fate
“Huh?”
“Do you feel better? Does accusing someone of being the cause of their own daughter’s death make you feel less guilty?” She held up her hand sharply, cutting me off. “I’m well aware Lanna wasn’t mine biologically, but don’t youdareinsinuate I didn’t love her as one. You know better than that.”
The caustic tone pushed me back a half step.
“Her death is not on my hands any more than it is yours,” she said, the sternness slowly melting away. “Lanna wouldn’t hold it against you, so please, Jada, stop holding it against yourself. Before it kills you, too. I can’t lose you both.”
You lost me the day I found out the truth.
The words jumped out in my mind. A petty, vengeful part of me wanted to say them out loud, to really stick the knife in deep andtwist, but I didn’t. I kept my mouth shut. Because I knew that whatever may have happened to bring her and my father together, whatever motives there were, shehadloved us both, and we had both lost someone to the ice that day.
“I’m still angry,” I said instead, biting each word off. “My entire life has been a lie, built on a foundation of lies. It’s like everyone in the background has known who I am and what I’m expected to do except for me. And you were apartof that.”
“I know,” she said with that soft tenderness mothers possess for their children. I didn’t even think she meant to, given the situation. It was just automatic. “And I understand if you never want anything to do with me again. But your father had nothing to do with it.”
Thatcost her a lot to say. Giving me permission to sever ties with her and essentially promising me that she wouldn’t try to reach out or mend bridges if that was what I chose.
“You’ll tell him,” I said stiffly. “That’s not on me. That’s on you.”
“I will,” she promised. “But whatever you decide, Jada, know one thing: I never, ever,everfaked or forced how much I love you. How happy I am to be your mother. Howproudyou have made me, both before all of this and since. Seeing you grow into the woman and adult you are now gives me a fierce pride I willneverlet go of. No matter what you say. Remember that.”
I sniffed, blinking rapidly against the sudden burst of extra fluid in my eyes.
“I will,” I promised her. “But right now, I think I need to be alone.”
I left the house without saying another word. Wondering if I could ever go back.
Chapter Twenty-Three
It took thirteen days for the Alphas to respond.
“When they do something, they certainly do it big, don’t they?” I murmured, leaning against the rough-hewn stone of the top of the wall that protected the city.
Kiel grunted next to me as we looked at the response unfold around the landward side of Arcadia. “Something like that.”
Thousands upon thousands of Wulfhere marched in ranks, pouring down the road from Lycaon, spreading out around the walls of our city to begin the siege. Their armor shone brightly in the mid-day sunshine, the steel polished to a perfect shine. Troop leaders bawled orders, directing units to their camps.
Squads of wolves patrolled, loping along easily and darting between the thick formations of soldiers, though mostly sticking to the edges so as not to interfere with the army’s assembly. Banners waved gaily in the air, marking various command tents as they were erected.
“Did you see your mother again?”
I sighed, pointing out over the wall. “Look at all of them,” I said. “That’s a huge-ass army, Kiel. And it’s here forus.”
“You really need to make things right with her,” Kiel said, not accepting my change of subject.
Though he did stare over the wall with a sharp gaze. He knew as well as I did that things could go really badly in an instant if we let it. We had to stay on guard.
Given his focus on our enemy, my irritated glare went unnoticed, becoming a waste of energy.
“Well?” he prompted.
I sighed. It was only slightly dramatic and over the top. “I don’t knowhow, okay?”
Kiel’s snort turned into a low chuckle.
“And what’s so damn funny to you, hmm, mister?” I challenged, putting hands on my hips, momentarily ignoring the huge army.
“Can you seriously not see it?” he asked, his shoulders bouncing slightly.
