Page 100 of Through Quick and Quinn
Too much happened too quickly for me to process. Quick overflowed my heart with his professed love, only for me to completely shatter his heart moments later. And the moments in between… Wow. I still felt the tingle on the back of my neck and a pulsating sensation throughout my suddenly lonely lips.
Initially, a wave of panic swept over me as I hypothesized what he was thinking, what he would do next, and how things with us would go. The wave, though, was swiftly replaced by profound insight, the enormity of which was life-altering. I was in love with Quick. While he was locked up in the bathroom, I was dumbfounded on the couch, overwhelmed by the realization and acceptance of something long overdue. I loved him. I loved his honesty and his selflessness, his brilliance and his open-mindedness, his authenticity and his moral compass. I loved the way he challenged me, the way he exposed me to a world of questions, the way he nurtured my soul. I loved the way he loved me.
I was not sure how much time had passed when Quick walked back into the family room. He casually strolled over to the couch and sat by my side, leaving less than an inch between us. Without uttering a single word, his mouth was suddenly on mine. It was even more passionate than the first one, and without a secret hanging over my head this time, I allowed myself to fully surrender to his touch. I relished every detail, knowing I would want to relive it over and over again. The plumpness of his bottom lip. The lingering taste of bacon. The faint smell of his shampoo. My fingers cradling his face. His hands on my waist.
I had never thought about it before, but this was a first for both of us. Neither one of us had any idea what we were doing, but it didn’t matter. There was such an energy of emotion and mutual appreciation that it all just felt so right. Even when we bumped our front teeth on one another’s, we broke the kiss for a good laugh. It was him and it was me, so it was perfect exactly as it was.
“I’m so sorry, Quick. I never m—”
“I know, Quinn. I know that you would never intentionally hurt me. Ever. We’ll take the Mandy situation as it comes. Okay?” I nodded as he continued. “Besides, I would rather the whole world know than me lose someone I love over it. Geoffrey deserves to be known, anyway. His story deserves to be told. It’s selfish of me to keep him to myself just so I don’t have to face the truth in unexpected places. Does that make sense?” I nodded again, mesmerized by the beauty of his face, his heart, and his soul. “I meant what I said, Quinn. Nothing could change the way I feel about you.” He squeezed my hands and gave me a soft peck on the lips. He placed his forehead on mine and we gazed into one another’s eyes. I had never felt so seen. So understood. So loved.
I could feel a lump rising in my throat, but not because I was stifling a sob. That could not have been further from the truth, given that pure elation was pulsing through my veins. What was stuck in my throat were words that needed to be spoken. Heavy ones. Transformative ones.
“I love you, too,” I whispered. A giant grin erupted across his entire face, so much so that I felt it on my own forehead before we parted to sit more comfortably on the couch. “When you were in the bathroom, all I could think about was how much I love you, and of all the reasons why.”
“Same.” He winked. That same wink he gave me by the waterfall when he told me he saw me for the first time. That same wink he gave me on his birthday during the whipped cream challenge. That same wink that he gave me on the Fourth of July. The one that made my knees weak and my heart skip. Every single time.
“I think I’ve loved you all along, Quick. Since the beginning. Since last October.”
“Same. Why do you think I dubbed it our anniversary?” He could see the light bulb in my mind and he chuckled, clearly satisfied with the fact that he figured it out way before I did. He pulled me in for a cuddle as I awkwardly twisted my body to place my back against his chest. Just as I imagined it. We sat like that for quite some time, comfortably relaxing as he told me all about his mother’s homecoming, her letter, and their instant reconnection. He felt like everything in his life was falling perfectly into place, and hearing the joy and the peace in his voice made my heart swell. He deserved it. All of it.
Quick:
Even If
Like I said, New Year’s Eve 2024 was one for the books.
After our first kiss, which was perfect, and then our second, which put the first one to shame, Quinn finally got to hear about my mom. Shy of letting her read the letter, I told Quinn every detail of the time Mom and I had spent together since her return from rehab. She was truly thrilled for me and mentioned how she could already sense how much lighter I was with that weight lifted. The conversation came to a natural close just as my stomach started growling, so we headed into the kitchen to eat more of the foods my mom and I had prepared.
At around ten thirty, once I felt satiated and had a belly full of salami, Swiss, and crackers, I told Quinn that I was still patiently waiting to hear about her vacation and whatever else she still needed to tell me. My words served as a reminder to her, and she literally anthropomorphized an exclamation point with her bouncing and clapping. She shoved her last bacon-wrapped date into her mouth, chewed it up as quickly as she could, and swigged a glass of water to wash it down. I smiled as I prepared myself for what I knew would be an energetic whirlwind of squealed words.
“Okay, I was looking into this new thing I read about called thermography. Did you know that different radiation techniques like mammograms aren’t even diagnostic tools? So we just radiate people for funsies? Switzerland’s even banned them! And we still use them here? What the heck! Anyway, I was reading about how cancer might be related to parasites and how easy it can be to detect issues early with noninvasive thermography and… ”
I felt myself grinning, just looking at her. I didn’t understand two-thirds of the words she was saying because apparently my brain couldn’t process auditory information at her lightning speed, but I knew she’d clue me in at some point. It was enough for me to see her so excited, passionate, and filled with purpose. I could relate. It was a fresh feeling for me, too, feeling like I had found my purpose. Well, one of my purposes, at least. And I was looking right at it.
It was her.
“… so I’ll probably end up going there!” I was so busy thinking about how happy she made me feel that I completely missed the whole bit about her plans for next year. But it didn’t matter. Wherever she was, whatever she was doing, I’d be loving her through the whole thing.
“I’m happy for you, Quinn.”
A look that was slightly laced with trepidation flashed across her exquisite face. “Really?” she questioned. “Even if I’m in Florida?”
Frick. Florida? That state was almost as far away as possible from home. I suddenly understood why she went there for Christmas. I felt like the wind got knocked out of me again, for the second time that night. This time, though, I recovered much more quickly. Our eyes locked and all four of them were simultaneously covered by a layer of shiny gratitude. Forehead to forehead, I kissed her on the tip of her charming little nose and whispered, “Yes, really. Even if.”
01/01/25
3:09 a.m.
Quinn is browsing through the dresses on the second floor of a department store that is unfamiliar to me. I am keeping her company as she considers different styles, lengths, and colors. I watch her hold a dress up to her body, glance in the mirror, cock her head to one side and the other, and then return the dress to the rack. I smile to myself, knowing that she would look breathtaking in any of the gowns. Hell, she’d be captivating in soiled rags even.
I notice a young mother and her daughter make their way to the rack nearby. The little girl is perhaps four years old and is darling with her blonde curls that bounce as she hops from one pretty dress to another.
“Stay close,” the mom utters. She is sliding one dress across the rack at a time, focusing fully on her task at hand. The little girl promises to do so as she frolics to the rack nearby, where she claims her best princess dress is waiting for her.
I am mesmerized by the child’s aura of simple delight and innocent wonder. How liberating to have not a care in the world! Skipping about in her utopia of imagination, the girl makes her way to the next rack over. A couple of minutes pass and she continues on to another display.
I unexpectedly feel a peculiar sensation. My stomach, now suddenly nauseous, sinks towards my feet and all the hairs on my neck stand on edge. I look around, my eyes fully dilated, and as I scan our surroundings, I see the reason for the unforeseen warning signals that my body is communicating to me.
