Page 96 of What If I Hate You
Me
Okay. Bear just texted me “I didn’t mean to break the locker room.” I’m dying!! I’m so sorry guys, but also, whatever is happening it is fucking hilarious!
Scarlett
Oliver slept on the edge of the bed last night! BAHAHAHA Like if he touched me it’d trigger a test he didn’t study for
Ella
August made me swear not to tell anyone But he legit googled “g-spot hydration techniques” at 2AM and then tried to delete his search history while I was watching! LOL
Corrigan
I told Bodhi “no pressure, babe” And he said, “that’s literally the problem” He’s been stretching like he’s preparing for the Olympic Swim Competition!
Layken
Griffin is reading ARTICLES Like full-blown medical journals. He said, “It’s science, Layken. SCIENCE.”
Marlee
Ledger made a spreadsheet. A COLOR-CODED ONE. He said “We’re gonna test variables. For science.” I can’t even touch him without him asking for a control group ROFLMAO!!
Me
Barrett walked around the apartment muttering “I didn’t ask to become the gold standard” Like sir, you are the gold standard. Sorry 'bout it
Scarlett
Oliver asked me to “rank our best moments” So he could “analyze patterns” BRO THIS ISN’T A VIDEO GAME BOSS BATTLE. HAHAHAHA
Marlee
I beg to differ. Blakely = total boss babe.
Ella
August was massaging my back and I moaned a little. HE FROZE and then asked, “Was that a good moan or a 'try harder' moan?”
Corrigan
Bodhi said, “I’m tall, but not a miracle worker.” And now I can’t stop laughing!
Layken
Griffin legit asked if we should get waterproof furniture. Like. ALL the furniture.
Marlee
I asked Ledger to hand me a water bottle and he deadass said, “Are you…hydrating for a reason?”
Me
I love us. We broke the boys.
Scarlett
Cheers to weaponized orgasms!
