Page 97 of What If I Hate You
Ella
Long live the reign of Queen Blakely the Soaked!
Corrigan
Group pact: We never let them live this down.
Layken
And we absolutely ask for it at the worst moments. Like in the Target parking lot or mid-coffee sip.
Marlee
OMG. YES. “Babe, when are you gonna give me the Blakely Special?” While he’s tying his skates.
Me
And here I thought I was evil. I’m obsessed with you all. Never change.
BARRETT
Oliver changed the group chat name to Men Down
Oliver
Bros. I just pretended to pull a hamstring to get out of round three. Scarlett said, “That’s okay, babe. Just use your mouth.” I AM NOT OKAY. What the fuck is happening?
August
I feel you. Ella keeps whispering “be better than Barrett” like it’s a fucking battle cry. I feel like I’m trying to win the freakin' Hunger Games with my dick.
Me
Again… I never told anyone. Y’all exposed yourselves. May the odds be ever in your favor, man.
Griffin
Layken’s been watching TikToks with titles like “how to unlock your full female potential.” I caught her ordering WRESTLING MATS.
Bodhi
Corrigan brought a ring light into the bedroom. Why? WHY?? Why is this happening?
Ledger
Marlee made me drink a green smoothie and said, “Hydrate. You’re going back in after this.” I THINK I’M IN A TOURNAMENT I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO GET OUT!
Harrison
Meanwhile I’m sleeping great, staying dry, and my spine still works. Single life for the W!
Me
Yeah but you know what isn’t squirting, Harrison? Your DMs.
Harrison
Oliver
