Page 117 of Sacrifice
“I think he needs to die.”
“I agree.” He leans against the hood of the car. “You okay?”
“Just a few days left now.” I see my reflection in the windshield. I look ready. I’m lean. I’m strong. I feel good, more or less. “I’ve gotta block the rest of this shit out. No more Davidson bullshit, okay?”
“Yeah. Okay. How’s Ever?”
“Hanging in there. They switched up her medicine and she’s having a hard time with it. The tumors are shrinking but not as quickly as they’d like. I don’t understand all the numbers and shit, but what I gather is that the progression has kind of paused but hasn’t started going the other way very much.”
His face falls. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, me too. They keep telling us that they’ll keep trying different things. That you can never predict how someone will react to different formulas and shit.”
“But this medicine you’re getting with the money you win,” he says, pausing to let that sink in, “it’s supposed to help?”
I smile, appreciating the sentiment. “Yeah. That’s what they say. There are no long-term studies on it because it’s a new thing. But they have kids sicker than Ever go through there that are currently cancer-free, kids that they’d basically written off.”
“How’s Julia?” he asks.
“She’s hit the wall. She’s just sick. I know sitting there day in and day out is rough, and I hate that I can’t be there to lessen that load, but I have to work and I have to train.” I sigh. “Olivia and the lady from the restaurant try to come by and let her go eat or sleep and she just won’t leave Everleigh anyway.” I sigh again. “I’m just over this shit, Will. I’m getting hit from every fucking angle.”
“I don’t envy you. At all. But I respect you. I can’t imagine what would be going on if she didn’t have you.”
“Yeah, well, I just have a few days ’til the fight. I’ve intentionally not told her much about it. I just want them untainted by it all. They have so much going on and this fighting world is so dirty. When I go home, it’s pure. It may not be happy because Ever’s sick, but it’s my world. And I just want them to be . . .” I take a deep breath. “Look, Will. I don’t know how to say this...but if things don’t go the way we think they will and something happens to me—”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Let me finish.”
“No. I know what you’re going to say.” He’s pissed. His usual goofy smile is gone, his features completely changed. “And I’m not going to stand here and even entertain the fucking thought. You know this game. It’s more mental than anything. So push that shit out of your head, Crew.”
“I know, but what I want to say is that if something goes wrong, I need you to—”
“That goes without saying,” he states. “Just shut the fuck up and go home and tell those girls you live with that I said hi.”
He jumps in his car and pulls out before I can say another word.
* * *
CREW
I setmy bag down and turn the corner. My girls are sitting on the couch, watching cartoons. Ever looks a little pale, but not as pale as Jules.
I walk across the room and kiss Ever on the cheek. I turn to Julia.
Fuck it.
I kiss her, too.
She might get pissed but I don’t care. I only have a few days left before I fight and I’m not wasting any more time. I’ve been thinking of the things I’d say to my ma or to Gage if I had another day with them. How I’d tell Ma that she was right. That I was sorry for causing her so much worry. I’d thank her for doing her best with me and apologize for making her life so much more complicated with my antics. I’d thank Gage for always having my back, even when everyone else turned against me. I’d thank him for picking up the pieces of my life and just kind of holding them until I could find them again. I’d tell him that I respect him more than any other person I’ve ever met.
I’m not wasting any more time with Jules. She can be angry. She can second-guess it. But what can she say? I love her and I’m going to show her that, show Everleigh that, for as long as I have left.
“Crew.” She pulls back, eyes wide.
“What?” I’m not sorry and I won’t be.
We have a standoff, eyeing each other, until it’s broken by a burst of tiny giggles. We both turn to see Ever, her hand over her mouth, her eyes shining.
