Page 118 of Sacrifice
“What’s so funny?” I ask, grinning.
“I wondered why you never kissed her,” she said, her giggles growing louder. “She’s so pretty. Boys always kiss pretty girls but you never kissed Mommy.”
“Listen here,” I say, picking her up. I sit in her spot and place her on my lap. I wrap one arm around Jules and pull her into my side. She looks up to me, a touch of color back to her cheeks. “Boys do kiss pretty girls. And your mommy and you are the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen. But here’s the thing—no boy better ever put his lips on you. Hear me?”
“I don’t want to kiss a boy!” She giggles.
“Damn right,” I say, pulling her head to my chest. “You two are my girls. You aren’t allowed to have any other boys’ lips touching you or I’ll kill them.”
We sit quietly. Jules grabs the remote and turns the television off. I’ve got one of my girls beside me and one on my lap. Eventually their breathing evens out and I know they’ve both fallen asleep.
If I could stop time, I’d do it now.
FORTY-NINE
JULIA
Hospitals are such a double-edged sword.
On one hand, they’re a place of hope, a respite from a disease-filled world. A place where people work together, tirelessly, to heal your loved ones. On the other, they’re a grim reminder that sickness exists. That with sickness comes pain, sadness, and frustration.
Ever has been taken out for testing and I’m alone in her room. Her monkey lies on the sofa next to me and I pick it up and press it against my chest. It smells like her, like strawberry bubblegum and that subtle note that’s just Ever. It reminds me of when she was a baby, of Gage carrying her around on his shoulders, of going for snow cones on warm days, like today.
The door presses open and Dr. Perkins comes inside. I’ve been expecting him.
“Hi,” I say, setting the monkey on my lap.
“Hello.” He walks around the bed and takes the seat next to Ever’s bed. “How are you holding up?”
I laugh. “Let’s just move the questioning along, shall we?”
He smiles. “Well, I just wanted to keep you up to date on what’s going on. We’ve arranged for her to be transferred on July 15th for the therapy. She’ll be in Dr. Morrison’s hands once she’s there. I can honestly say that it’s the best place she can be. All of the arrangements have been made.” He pauses. “Except payment. And I hate even saying this because it sounds so harsh and cold.”
“Of course it does. Because it is.”
“Mrs. Gentry, if I could have gotten her in there any sooner . . .”
“No, I know that. You’ve done everything you can. I believe that.”
“This isn’t my favorite part of the medical field. I want to heal people, not have to do that within the constraints of red tape.”
“I understand. We’ll have the money to them on the fourteenth.”
He leans back and studies me. I’m not sure what he’s thinking or if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.
“I don’t know how you’ve managed to get the money and it’s none of my business. But I want you to know that, quite possibly, you’ve just saved her life. As professionals, we normally keep guarded about a lot of things. We tell patients what they need to know and don’t reveal everything. This field is a lot of speculation, we try many things and don’t know whether they’ll work or not. But I’m going to be frank with you, Mrs. Gentry. I’ve been worried about Ever.”
His words hit me hard, causing my head to spin. I pick up the monkey and squeeze it to my chest.
“Whatever sacrifices you’ve made to get her into this therapy are worth it. I can’t guarantee anything with that, either, but I do give you my word that it is her best chance. If it was my child and I was in your shoes, I would have sold my soul to the devil if I had to.”
A sinking feeling takes over me as I realize, not for the first time but for the firstrealtime, that maybe,just maybe,that’s what Crew’s done.
* * *
JULIA
Exhaustion would bea relief right now because I’m so far past it that I can’t even remember what just being tired feels like. My entirebeingaches. My body can’t rest on this hospital sofa and my mind can’t zone out, either. Not that it could if we were home and not at the hospital, but my chances would be better.
