Page 73 of Oh, Sacred Dark
Tyler took his time chewing and swallowing his food before speaking. “I don’t know what to say. I think I haven’t been handling what happened to you very well? I’m just getting in my head about it, but I don’t want to put that on you,” he admitted.
“I don’t feel like you’re putting it on me by talking about it. I want to know when you’re feeling scared or anxious or worried because I want to be there for you, no matter what the cause is.” Roman’s voice was soft but determined.
Tyler sighed. “I just…I was really scared when that woman took you. I felt like I failed you. And the fact that we didn’t do anything about her—that we don’t even know hername? I don’t think we should have done that.” It felt good to actually say it out loud. He understood that the woman had gone through her own trauma, but it didn’t excuse what she’d done to Roman.
Roman took a breath before replying. “I get that. I just…I don’t know what good it would do to tell the authorities about her. Who would it help? She’s not a danger to me anymore. Archie said I’m free of the Chaos Magic, so no one can use that again. I trust the coven wards to keep people who want to harm me out. And I…I guess I understand her. Understand why someone would want answers or…resolution.”
“I understand that too. But. I don’t know. I think that I’ve thought of myself as a protector all my life, you know? As a caregiver. Feeling like I failed you has kind of fucked with me. And I know what you’re gonna say—”
“You didn’t do anything close to letting me down!”
“Right. That.” Tyler chuckled. “Iknowyou see it that way. But in my gut, it feels different.”
“Okay. Is that why you found it hard to scene? Because it feels like you failed me?” Roman asked.
“I guess, yeah. Yeah. I don’t know…you chose me as your Dom because you felt you had to, but you have more options now,” Tyler said quietly.
“I know that, if I wanted to, I could find another Dom—but I don’t want to.I don’t want to. I mean…do you think I’m a silly little sub that doesn’t know what he’s doing?”
“No,” Tyler replied forcefully.
“Okay. So, if I know what I’m doing—if you think I’m capable of making decisions for myself—then you should respect that I want you to be my Dom. I want you to be my…I want you to be my Dom.”
Roman’s cheeks were red, eyes bright and determined. It took a while for his words to truly reach Tyler, to pierce the layer of self-doubt that had crusted over him.
It was hard to believe it—toacceptit. Maybe he wouldn’t all at once, but the first trickles of it dripped over him.
“Yeah?” Tyler said quietly.
“Yes. I mean, if you want me as a sub, I’m not going to—”
“I want you as my sub. I’m saying it officially. I would be lucky to have you as my sub,” Tyler stressed.
“I feel the same way,” Roman said, expression shy but eyes crinkling at the corners in pleasure.
It wasn’t the same as a romantic relationship, but Tyler would take whatever Roman wanted to give him.
Roman rubbed at his pink cheek. “I can come over more often? So you don’t get so worried? Would that help?”
“Yeah. You can come over whenever you want, Ro, seriously. Whenever you want.”
Roman smiled. “Okay. I can do that.”
“Okay.”
Maybe it would take a little time for Tyler to move past what had happened, but he’d get there eventually with Roman at his side.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ROMAN
It was strange how progress was made.
Some days, Roman could barely get out of bed. He’d lie there, abandoned on the shore of a nightmare, shaking and scared of facing the world. Of scrounging up the trust he’d had to so meticulously build. Of having to be a person with a body that remembered a hurt it couldn’t escape.
And then there were days when he barely thought about the past. When he’d go to Connie’s farm or hang out with Tyler or clean his house carefully and joyfully, and he’d be his own person, a fresh layer of skin raw but keeping him together.
It became clear, though, that he needed something stable to occupy his days, and it was Connie who recommended him to Milly’s Bakery. Roman almost had a breakdown on his way to the interview, but Milly was casual and friendly when he appeared.
