Page 72 of Oh, Sacred Dark
“It’s okay. I’m okay. What’s wrong? Did I do something?” Roman said, cradled under Tyler, staring at him with big eyes.
“No. No, Ro, you didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. You were perfect. You’re always perfect. It’sme. I can’t—I was so worried when she took you. You don’t know…I let that happen. I knew there was something wrong and I didn’t do anything about it. Fuck, I shouldn’t be putting this on you. I—”
“Hey,” Roman soothed, cutting Tyler off. “Hey, it’s okay. Come here. It’s okay. I’m okay.”
Tyler followed Roman’s hands, letting himself be held for once, but his mouth wouldn’t stop talking. “You could find a better Dom. I failed to…you should find someone better.”
Roman shushed him softly. “I don’t want anybody else—and it’s my choice, right? I get to choose my Dom. Not you.”
Tyler’s heart squeezed. It felt like it wasn’t even beating. “But—”
“You’re so good, Tyler. So good to me. All I could think when she took me was returning to you. Being right here with you.”
Tyler closed his eyes tight. Tremors were quaking through him, face buried in Roman’s neck. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. You’re okay.I’mokay. You can let go of whatever it is you’re holding—it’s going to be okay. I’ve got you.”
For the first time in what felt like weeks, Tyler let himselffeel. Let himself be overwhelmed by the fear he’d felt when Roman had been taken. The helplessness. The need to have him close.
He breathed shakily, gripping onto Roman like a lifeline.
Eventually, his thoughts ordered into coherent lines. Roman was still rubbing his back, mumbling little words of comfort.
“Sorry,” Tyler whispered.
“Tyler…you’re always taking care of me, but it has to go both ways. There’s gonna be timesyouneed to be taken care of, and I want to do that. Thank you for letting me do that.”
Tyler pressed his eyes shut, mouth dry and sticky with unshed tears. He had no response to that.
They stayed there until Roman eventually suggested they go to bed. Tyler felt a bolt of fear hit him at the thought of Roman leaving, but he didn’t make for the door, going straight to the bathroom with Tyler to wash up and then to bed.
For the first time in days, Tyler managed to fall asleep swiftly, without worry filling up his mind with noise.
**********
Tyler had never experienced Domdrop before.
It wasn’t like a Drop—not that kind of borderline medical emergency. It was more like an emotional hangover. The world seemed to slow down, Tyler wading through molasses the instant he woke up.
Having Roman there helped, though.
“I thought you could take the day off? Or I could go to work with you or something. If you don’t mind,” Roman suggested.
Tyler’s heart thumped. A few months ago, Roman wouldn’t have dared to have that sort of input on Tyler’s life, let alone verbalise it. “Yeah, that sounds good. I made a lot of progress on that art piece yesterday, so I can still meet the deadline if I don’t go in today.”
Roman smiled. “I, um…I think we should talk about yesterday. Right? That’s what you’d do with me. We can make breakfast and chat after?”
Tyler wanted to say no—that he was fine, that it wasn’t Roman’s burden to carry. The words jammed in his throat, though. If he did that, how could he ever expect Roman to open up to him after a scene?
He couldn’t expect one thing from Roman but give another.
“Okay. Sounds good, Ro.”
This time, Roman beamed. The expression felt like a reward.
They made eggs and bacon and toast. The smell was comforting, and Roman’s presence at his side even more so.
They tucked into the food silently for a while, Roman finally clearing his throat and interrupting the quiet. “Do you want to talk about yesterday?”
