Page 18 of Brother
Okay. Maybenotexactlyas hehad as a kid.
The strangething was that not that much changed. In the thick of hisself-recrimination, he’dtruly thought that everything would shift if Simon found out abouthow he felt. Not just his relationship with his twin, or the restof his family, but withhimself.
He’d never beable to forgive himself if anybody found out, he’d thought. Not ifit hurt Simon.
Funny,that the thing causingSimon pain was Nathankeepingit from him.
Under the brightlight of daylight, they were like they had always been. Asinseparable as when they were younger—cocooned in a world only they couldreach.
They would go tothe lake and Simon woulddunk him under the water, hands pushing on his shoulders, yankingon his ankles. He’d tell Nathan to climb on the bike behind him andrush down the steep hills Nathan would never brave alone. They’dlace their hands together as they lay on the grass, and nobodywould blink an eye.
These toucheswere not heated. They were just familiar, and loving, and a relief,after being held apart by thesame secret for what felt like years, now.
Nathancouldn’t help but thinkthat this was the way things were supposed to be.
**********
Simon and Nathanmanaged to sneak kisses and blowjobs late at night, but itwasn’t until they hadthe house to themselves for a whole weekend a couple of weeks laterthat they felt free to do what they had both beencraving.
Theyhadn’t talked aboutit—hadn’t had to. It was obvious in the way Simon looked at him—inthe desperate edge in his touch the last few nights. They’d bothbeen waiting until there was no chance of being interrupted oroverheard to go further than hands and mouths.
They arrivedback from the lake to an empty house as the sun was sinking pastthe horizon. The sky was as golden and pink asSimon’s shoulders, thebridge of his nose. Nathan watched him for a moment, letting allhis love wash through him like a clean and sparklingriver.
“I’m gonna goshower,” Nathan murmured.
They looked ateachother, caught inthe quiet spell of sundown before Simon smiled and noddedsilently.
Nathan relaxed in thecool water of the shower, washing the sweat and the heat of the sunand replacing it with the deep flare of anticipation that shiveredthrough him. It was unbearable in the sweetest way.
Hedressed in a loose shirtand shorts when he’d dried off. Outside the window, the sky haddarkened to purple, like a bruise.
Nathan foundSimon cooking mac and cheese, standing barefoot in the kitchen.
“You wining anddining me?”
Simon turned,grinning.“Only thefinest for my best guy.”
Nathan snorted,setting the tableanddigging in when the food was done. They were mostly quiet as theyate, glancing at each other now and again, the air giddy betweenthem.
“You wanna watcha movie?” Simon suggested as they finished.
“Sure.”
They put somewhatever movie on, something they’d both watched ten times before, and cuddled onSimon’s bed, laptop perched between them. Nathan let himself sinkinto Simon’s body as Simon ran his fingertips across his shoulder,his neck, down to his arm again.
The soft touches builtupon themselves. Over, and over, and over, until Nathan wastwitching, trying to hold back and barely being able to.
“Simon,” Nathanwhined eventually. God, his dick was so hard from all thiswaiting. Hedidn’t know if he could take much more.
Simon looked athim, eyes glinting.“Yeah, baby?”
“Please.” Whatelse could Nathan say?
The laptoptilted to the side, still playing whatever dumb movie they’d chosen, as Simonstretched on top of him. Nathan had thought that when it happened,it’dhappen, heattaking over them. Instead, Simon went slow. Kissed him deep,syrupy, holding his body off just enough to avoid any realfriction.
Nathan followedthe honeyed pace, stayedmostly still, taking what he was given. He wanted to begood—had neverwanted anything as much.
Nathanshivered as Simon slipped hislarge, warm hand under his shirt, stroking up his ribs, thumbinghis nipple. Nathan mumbled something incomprehensible into Simon’smouth, squirming on the sheets, trying so hard not to beg formore.
