Page 14 of Brother
“Remember whenwe went to visit Lagoon College?”
Simon’s mouthclamped shut, eyes wide and staring.
“And you broughtthat girl back and fucked her even though I was in theroom?”
ToNathan’s overwhelmedamazement, tears sprang into Simon’s eyes. “Nate. I’m so sorry,” hechoked out.
“You told herthat I was asleep, but I wasn’t. You knew I’d wake up.”
Nathan hadthought a lot about it—hadlethimself think about it this past day. He’d always assumedSimon just hadn’tcaredthatNathan had been in the room. Nathan had been a minorinconvenience—a superfluous element in a nighttimeescapade.
But what ifNathan had been the whole point? What if it’d been a way for Simon to cross a line inthe dark without having to admit to it in the light ofday?
What ifhe’d done it just tohave Nathan’s attention and his desire by proxy?
Simon shook hishead—not like he was saying no, but as if hecouldn’t listen to whatNathan was saying.
“Why’d you dothat, Si?”
Nathan watchedas Simon took a long, trembling breath.“I don’t know.”
“Why’d you kissme?”
“I don’tknow.”
“That’sbullshit, Si,” Nathan said softly. “Why’d you kiss me?”
Simonopened and closed hismouth a few times as if searching for words. “Because I wantedto…to…I wanted you to—fuck.” He buried his face in his hands, kneesdrawn up, protecting himself from Nathan.
It unfrozeNathan from the door, making him stumble forwards and onto the bed. He pressed againstSimon, running a hand through his hair. “Simon…”
“I’m sorry.Fuck, I’m so—”
“I’ve wanted youso bad, for so fucking long.”
The airfroze.No breath ormovement cut through the stillness between them until Simonunfurled slightly, looking at Nathan. “You’re lying.”
Nathan laughedwetly.“I used to thinkabout how it’d be if you fucked me all the time. Couldn’t stopfucking thinking about it. I’d lay in bed and imagine you pinningme to it and just…taking.”
“You’re lying,”Simon repeated, but his cheeks were flushed, eyessearching.
“You were rightthe other night, Si. Idobelong to you. I just…I never thought you’d want me thatway.”
Simonpushed him down against thebed, straddling him. “You’re lying. You’relying.”
“That’s why Ihad to leave,” Nathan whispered. “I thought if you knew,you’dleaveme, for good this time.”
“Nathan.” Simonwas shaking above him, fear and hope and a desperate sort of oldhurt in his eyes.
Nathan threadedhis fingers throughSimon’s hair and pulled him into the softest kiss he’d everhad.
Nathan hadalways loved the fact that they weremirror twins. That they were identical if theywere facing each other. That if they pressed together, all theirfreckles would line up, become whole.
Simon’s breathstuttered against him, letting himself be kissed. Nathan kept itgentle, almost chaste, feeling like he was about to cry. Feelinglike this couldn’t possibly be real.
But thenSimonpulled back, andthe look in his eyes wasn’t something Nathan could come up with.The pain and love there.
“Is that reallywhy you didn’t go to Lagoon with me?” Simon asked so quietly,Nathan barely heard him.
