Page 61 of Rat Park
Dominic lived. He stayed sober, piling the days up until it got a little easier to breathe.
**********
Dominic found out about Flor’s new boyfriend during one Monday dinner, spring just beginning to thaw the earth outside. Dominic was trying to get one of the sliding doors to stop squeaking as he overheard Cat and Esteban talk in the kitchen, wondering if Flor would bring the boyfriend along the next time he was home.
Dominic leaned against the glass door, his head filling with an odd, ringing silence for a moment. It vibrated out of his skull and into his chest, where the air became heavy suddenly, sinking and filling his gut.
What was this boy’s name? What did he do, what was he like? How did he treat Flor? Did he take care of him, or was he some stupid teenager that didn’t know—
Dominic cut his thoughts off. He could barely talk. He was so pathetic that he’d had sex with Flor, left him in the middle of the night, avoided him, told Flor he wanted nothing to do with him despite the fact that they had been friends far before that. As if all that weren’t enough, Dominic had then proceeded to relapse as if he needed constant supervision to not stumble on the first hurdle placed in his way and then had waltzed back into Flor’s life as if Dominic hadn’t committed a string of mistakes that should hardly be forgiven, let alone forgotten.
It was good that Flor had a boyfriend. He was finding something better. Flor didn’t need Dominic. He had wanted him, maybe, for a little while, but Dominic wasn’t needed.
It’s better this way, Dominic told himself.
The pain of it was dry and deep, but it was exactly what he deserved.
**********
Dominic stood in the airport, watching people stream out of baggage collection. His heart leapt oddly as he spotted Flor, looking tired but healthy in a T-shirt and jeans, wheeling a large suitcase behind him.
Flor froze the moment he saw Dominic, and Dominic couldn’t help but smile at the blinding grin that took over Flor’s face.
“Dominic!” Flor exclaimed so loudly that some of the other passengers turned to look at him. Flor didn’t seem to notice, racing towards Dominic and practically throwing himself into Dominic’s arms.
“Hey,” Dominic laughed, hugging Flor back.
“I wasn’t expecting you,” Flor said when he pulled back.
“Sorry,” Dominic said automatically. Flor rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, I’m real upset about it,” he said sarcastically. Dominic huffed, taking the suitcase and heading towards the exit and the warm summer air.
They put Flor’s bag in the trunk and loaded into the car. They stayed silent until they were out of the airport fully and on the interstate on their way home.
“How was your third year of college, then?” Dominic asked
“Good. Hard, but good. Who knew pre-med would be so difficult?” Flor snorted.
“Nothing you can’t handle. You’ve only got one more year to go. Your exams went well?”
“Yeah, one more year until I have to start actual medical school, fuck my life. But, yeah, I didn’t bomb any exams. I don’t think. I’ll get my results next month.”
Dominic nodded. “Are you going anywhere this month? With friends, or…” Dominic left the question hanging.
“Nah. I’m looking forward to being here, actually. I missed you guys. And I broke up with my boyfriend, so…”
Dominic threw him a startled glance. Flor had said it casually, but his face was blank as he looked out of the windshield. Dominic and Flor still texted regularly, but something had kept them from discussing Flor’s relationship.
“I’m sorry,” Dominic said sincerely.
Flor shrugged. “It’s whatever. It wasn’t going to…anyway. I was the one who broke it off, so.”
“Did anything happen?”
“Not really. I just…it wasn’t working. I don’t know.”
Dominic let the subject drop, sensing Flor wasn’t keen on discussing it further.
