Page 62 of Rat Park
“What about you? You met any new people?” Flor asked in the same neutral tone.
“Not really.”
“No torrid love affairs?” Flor asked. Dominic snorted, ignoring the dangerous direction the conversation was going.
“No.”
“Nothing? What, you justneverget laid?” Flor asked. Dominic threw him another look. Flor’s bluntness wasn’t uncharacteristic, but the topic was. It’d been two and a half years since they had slept together, so maybe the topic was just typical between friends now that they’d moved on from what had happened. Well, at least Flor had moved on. Dominic wasn’t sure how far away he’d ever get from the memory of Flor’s body below his.
“I get laid, I just don’t date.” Dominic didn’t look at Flor, but he could feel his surprise.
“I thought you didn’t have Tinder. Or Grindr, I guess.”
Dominic snorted. “Peopledomeet outside of apps, you know.”
“Okay, Grandpa. You, what, go to a bar…?”
“Yeah, I guess. It’s not like it’s every week. Just. Sometimes,” Dominic said, feeling distinctly uncomfortable with where the conversation had ended up.
It wasn’t like sleeping with people was a regular thing, but sometimes he caught someone’s eye when he was out with Fiona, Kali, and Alfie, and he would just go along with it. It was a distraction. A way to forget, to feel normal, even if he didn’t feel capable of having a romantic relationship.
“Yeah, I guess when you look like that it’d be easy to pick people up at bars,” Flor said.
“Oh yeah, because looking like you is such a hindrance,” Dominic replied sarcastically, feeling a little embarrassed.
“It’s different for me! I’m like. You know. A twink or whatever,” Flor said. Dominic tried not to choke on his spit. “So, like, I attract a certain type of dude. Like, it’s not like gay men are exempt from misogyny so, like, they tend to treat me like straight men treat girls. Let me tell you, it’s not fun.”
Dominic glared at the mere thought. “Fuck those men,” he bit out. Flor laughed.
“Or leave them unfucked, as the case may be. Anyway, I’m twenty-one now, so. I could go to a bar with you,” Flor offered. Dominic tried not to let on how completely excruciating the thought of that was, of having to sit there whilst people hit on Flor.
“How about I introduce you to the guys at the shop? I don’t know why we haven’t done that yet,” Dominic said, a half lie. He’d tried to protect himself from Flor burrowing any deeper into him, but Dominic had to concede that it was inevitable.
“Really?” Flor asked, and Dominic felt guilty at how genuinely surprised he sounded.
“Yeah, of course.”
“Okay!” Flor said, giving him a blinding smile.
Dominic ignored how that expression made him light up from the inside.
**********
Dominic couldn’t help but accept Flor’s invitation to bake together again. He missed spending that time with Flor keenly when he was away.
Even in the sweltering kitchen, Flor looked relaxed and happy. He barely had to instruct Dominic anymore, but Dominic still looked over at Flor as if in guidance. He would watch Flor knead dough, or the easy movement of his wrist as he spread buttercream thickly over cake. Would watch the corner of his eyes crinkle, his lips stretch wide in a smile. Watch as Flor’s freckles stood out, tanned from the sunshine outside. How Flor’s eyes would look back sometimes, filled with the clear and joyful look that settled and unsettled Dominic, that made him thankful for all he had, even if a desperate part of him begged for just a little more.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“Oh God it’sso hot,” Flor whined.
“You’re the one who asked me to show you the basics of how to fix a car in the middle of the day.”
“I made a terrible mistake. I think I’m melting. Am I melting? I’m pretty sure I’m melting,” Flor complained.
Dominic rolled his eyes, smiling. “This is the last bit. You should know how to change the oil.”
“Urgh, fine. But I hope you know I’m going to ask you to come get me if my car ever breaks down. Why is there so muchgrease?”
