Page 7 of All That Has Flown Beyond
“No. No.”
She couldn’t understand what it was like, to be ripped away so suddenly from the ties which had bound him to pack and land. What it was like to suddenly not have the anchor and life they provided. To suddenly be empty and alone. It was like a death inside yourself. It was like the essence of loss, that stretched, an endless thing that took and took and took.
“No,” he pleaded.
His mother’s arms wrapped around him again. Kaiyo clung to her.
But it wasn’t enough.
**********
When Kaiyo was eight, the pack lands had seemed like an endless opportunity for adventure. The Ousía of the Bamsdale town and forest was familiar, even as the topography of it was rich with mystery. Thea, Ahmik, and he would be let loose on the earth belonging to them as they belonged to it.
Kaiyo remembered going to the small lake near the pack house to catch tadpoles in early May. Ahmik and Kaiyo would be equipped with nets and a bucket, the dark water almost grazing their rolled-up pants as they peered down through the surface. They would call out to each other excitedly as they caught sight of the wiggling forms which tried to camouflage themselves in their shadows.
One day, as dusk seeped through the atmosphere in oranges and reds, Kaiyo pointed towards the earthy shore of the lake. There, a lump sat watching the water. Its wet eyes stood out against its brown body, waiting.
“A toad,” Kaiyo whispered dramatically. Ahmik nodded slowly at the wisdom of the observation. Kaiyo and Ahmik had looked at each other, the course set without need for words.
In military formation, they had split up to corner the animal. They approached slowly, hands in front of them as if the creature were about to jump into their arms. The toad hadn’t taken long to catch on to the fact that it had turned into prey. It had tried hopping away, but Ahmik and Kaiyo had run after it.
In their haste, Ahmik had stumbled forwards and overshot, pressing down on the toad with his reaching hands. The animal had let out an indignant squawk from between Ahmik’s small hands.
“I hurt it!” Ahmik had cried out, looking at the injured leg of the animal. Kaiyo had peered at it with concern.
“Oh…” The two boys had shared a distraught look.
They had taken the toad to the pack house, covering the bucket with their arms as the unhappy animal struggled inside.
They had taken it straight to Kaiyo’s dad, Hisashi. The man was tall and slim like Kaiyo, but his demeanour differed greatly from his son’s. Hisashi’s face looked almost severe in his seriousness, his thin eyes watchful and silent where Kaiyo’s were bright and expressive.
“It was a mistake,” Kaiyo blurted as his dad looked at the toad. Hisashi had raised his eyebrows.
“I don’t think that matters to the toad,” he said. The boys had shrunk with guilt. “The best way to deal with consequences is to turn regret into action,” he went on, leading the boys into the kitchen.
They had put the toad in one of their old, glass hamster cages. Hisashi had instructed them on how to treat the leg, on what toads ate, on what they needed to collect for the terrarium. The boys had listened avidly, their concentration enhanced by determination.
The toad had lived with them for three weeks.
“Wario,” Ahmik named him.
“Wartio,” Kaiyo had corrected before they had dissolved into giggles.
They had taken care of it together, taking turns to feed it and change the water in its makeshift pond. Sometimes, they would let it loose in Ahmik’s room, watching it improve its hop. Grudgingly, the toad grew used to them, sometimes hopping directly into one of their laps and blinking wetly up at them.
Eventually, to their relief, the toad recuperated. They returned it the bucket and trudged towards the lake.
“Okay, Wartio. Time to go back home,” Ahmik said as they placed the bucket on the ground and tilted it towards the lake. The toad had hopped out happily, disappearing into the dark water without a look back.
“Ah, man. I don’t think it’s gonna miss us,” Kaiyo said.
“Nope,” Ahmik agreed.
Despite any lack of sentimentality on Wartio’s part, Ahmik and Kaiyo had grinned at each other. They could feel the land’s Ousía around them, bound to it as they were.
“Still. We make a pretty good team,” Ahmik had consoled. Kaiyo’s smile had only grown.
“The best.”
