Page 18 of All That Has Flown Beyond
“Talk aboutwhat?”
“This is a big step. I don’t want you to—”
“There you go!”
“What?”
“You. You said ‘I don’t wantyouto…’ Why are you speaking for me? Hello? I’m right here! I have a mouth! That you refuse to put to good use, by the way.”
“Oh my God.”
“Stop trying to decide things for me, Ahmik.”
“I just…”
“Ahmik. Look at me. How many times do we have to have this conversation? We have known each otherforever. We’re in the same pack—”
“Yeah, but I’m your Kephale.”
“So? Oh my God, so? Are you seriously telling me that I—me!Me!—would fuck you just ’cause you’re my Kephale?”
“Well…”
“No. Ahmik, I love you. You love me. We want to fuck each other. There is no mystery here. This isn’t rocket science,” Kaiyo growled. There was a moment of silence as Ahmik looked up at him.
“I can’t believe the first time you said you loved me was followed by ‘we want to fuck each other’,” Ahmik groused. Kaiyo laughed.
“Well, it’s the truth!”
They looked at each other. Ahmik raised his hand, tracing the bow of Kaiyo’s upper lip. “I love you,” he said quietly. Kaiyo smiled.
“God, you’re a sap.” He leaned down, kissing Ahmik softly. “I love you too. Obviously.”
Kaiyo buried his nose in Ahmik’s neck and let the werewolf scent him in turn. Ahmik ran his cheek and lips across Kaiyo’s skin as if he wanted to melt right into it.
“Now…can you please just fuck me?” Kaiyo said. Ahmik laughed against his neck.
Kaiyo had won that one.
**********
This was how it went.
Thebeep, beep, beepof the alarm cut through the haze of Kaiyo’s half sleep. He’d listen to the noise, his arm too heavy to lift. He lay there until his body could heave forward to hit snooze.
The world was a shapeless blob around him. The list of things he had to do that day was a train streaking past him. He watched the blur of it go past.
He stayed where he was.
The alarm blared again. He hit snooze. The third time it rang, he turned the alarm off.
He lay there. Every passing second piled on him. He was sinking into the bed. He blinked. There was crust at the edges of his eyes. He couldn’t be bothered to clean them.
There was an endless number of things beyond the bed. Classes, people, responsibilities. Inside the bed there was nothing. It was empty like him.
When his bladder was about to burst, he forced himself out of the bed. He took a piss with his mind blank. He went to the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. The reflection staring back wasn’t him. It was some thin, ugly creature. It watched him leave the bathroom with hollow eyes.
He stopped between the bedroom and the kitchen. He couldn’t remember the last time he ate something.
