Page 4 of Harboring Secrets
“Why don’t you just shake off like a dog?” I told him, annoyed that he’d sprinkled my shirt with the tiniest bit of water.
Then he looked at me and smiled, and my heart stopped. My pulse quickened. He was gorgeous. Even looking like a drowned rat. Maybe especially since he was soaking wet, head to toe. Because he didn’t let it upset him. He almost seemed to enjoy it.
One of the employees rushed over to him carrying a towel.
“Thanks.” Brodie took the towel and dried his hair. He turned his gaze to me, probably because I was gawking at him. I’d learn that Brodie had a million different smiles and he showed me another. “Sorry I disturbed you.”
“You looked like you had quite a good time.”
“It’s not the first rainstorm I’ve been caught in, but it’s definitely the most impressive.”
“You make a habit of getting caught in the rain?”
“Not a habit, really. I just don’t try to avoid it as hard as other people do.” He dried his hand off on the towel and stuck it out for me to shake. “Brodie Taggart.”
“Liam Lawson.”
Brodie’s lips quirked. “It’s good to meet you, Liam.”
Carol’s voice brought me back to the present. Away from Brodie. Again.
I hated how I’d left things with him. Hated how much about myself I hadn’t shared. Maybe he’d have understood why I’d left things the way I did. Maybe if I’d have been honest, I wouldn’t have had to leave things like that at all. What I did was cold and Brodie didn’t deserve it. But in those moments I’d been stricken with panic. My two worlds—two lives, old and new—came crashing together and I’d smashed Brodie’s heart on the rocks of my ruined life.
Had I told him, he’d have understood. I knew that. But I’d been lost in a daydream. Lost in the idea that I could move forward with my life. And then my past dragged me out of the clouds so swiftly that I did the unforgivable. I hurt Brodie.
“For what it’s worth, I am glad to see you’re moving on.” Carol glanced at my left hand again.
“Not everyone will share your sentiment.”
The Escalade pulled up outside the hospital I’d purposely avoided since Piper’s death. There was a shiny new cancer ward now. It looked like it had a thousand windows. Like it was more glass than brick. Piper would have liked it.
Carol fell into step next to me; even with her heels she was still a few inches shorter than me. “Don’t let them bully you, Liam.”
“They’re not bullies. They’re grieving.”
“They use it as a weapon. It’s why you’re here, isn’t it, instead of on your much-needed vacation.”
I grit my teeth and didn’t answer her. I was here because they’d called and Piper’s mom had been in tears. Her mom was frequently in tears. It was her dad that put the final nail in the coffin, though.Sure would mean a lot to us, son, to have the family back together.
My own parents were never really the affectionate kind, but Piper’s were. What my parents lacked in warmth, Piper’s had it in spades and they gave it freely and willingly. Though I never felt quite like I fit in, they were good people and they doted on Piper.
“It’s the least I can do,” I told Carol, using a tone I hoped she’d interpret as a plea for her to drop the subject.
“You still haven’t told me how your vacation was.”
“Because I just got back. Besides, there’s nothing to tell. I went and looked at old shit and got sand in my ass crack. Thrilling stuff.”
Carol’s eyes cut to mine when we stepped into the building. She didn’t believe a word I’d just said, but she had always been able to see through my bullshit. Even if no one else could. I wanted to tell her about Brodie, but she didn’t even know about my attraction to men. I wasn’t out. Even in the smallest way. Hell, until Brodie I hadn’t realized I could be so drawn in by a man that I could look in his eyes and see the universe. See the future. See the man I wanted to be looking back at me.
“This way,” Carol said, stepping off the elevator. I followed her purposeful steps down the hallway and into a new section of hospital that hadn’t been there before. A section that Piper’s parents had bought. The hospital had already had a good oncology ward, but now it had the best. And Piper’s name and face were on the wall. A larger-than-life portrait of her had me stopping in my tracks.
Carol put her hand on my arm. “Shit, I forgot to warn you about that. Her mom insisted.”
“It’s fine.” It wasn’t. Because I looked at the picture of Piper and I realized that I hadn’t looked at her picture in months. I’d avoided seeing her face for so long that it felt like I was seeing her again for the first time. But it was different this time. There was a sad sort of ache down inside me. We could have had a good life.
A good life. Guilt threatened to make my knees buckle, but I steeled myself against the sudden onslaught of emotion. I’d had years with Piper and a mere month with Brodie, but I was free with Brodie in a way I hadn’t managed to be since Piper. Before Piper died, I’d been close with her family, but their grief had changed them. It had changed all of us and now I found it hard to warm up to her parents. She idolized them, even when her mother tried meddling and sticking her nose where it didn’t belong. Piper would smile and try to reassure me that her mother was only trying to do what she thought was right. Her father, John, was an okay guy, but too willing to go along with Marsha’s whims.
I wanted to talk to her now. To tell her about Brodie. Piper was so much more than my wife. She was my greatest and closest friend and I found that to be the thing I missed the most. I’d loved her with every fiber of my being. Every molecule that made up my body had loved her and everything about her.
