Page 5 of Harboring Secrets
“Liam,” Carol whispered. “Are you okay?”
I bit back a laugh. It was a stupid question. I wasn’t. But not for the reason she was thinking. Sure, I missed Piper. But I’d grieved her. I was still grieving her. But I ached for Brodie. I hated the look on his face when I ran from ghosts he couldn’t see and didn’t know existed.
We hadn’t talked about Piper, but even without sharing that part of myself, I felt like Brodie knew me better than anyone. Better than Carol. Better than Piper had known me.
Our parents were old when they had Carol, and older still when they had me. In a lot of ways, Carol was more like a parent to me than a sister. We didn’t quite have a brother-sister relationship, but it wasn’t like parent and child either. She was a best friend who could pull rank. Piper’s parents still had expectations of me. The grieving widower. The distraught son-in-law.
“Liam.”
John’s voice had me turning around. Piper looked like her mother, but she had her father’s eyes. She’d had his perception too. “Good to see you, son. It’s been too long.” John took my hand, though I didn’t remember offering it, and pulled me into a hug. The embrace was brief and it left me shaky, unsteady. “You look well,” he said to me.
“You’re a bad liar, John.” I managed to force a smile for him, but truthfully I felt like shit. I didn’t want to be here and not because I missed Piper. I did. I would never be done missing her. But leaving Brodie had torn out a part of me. I’d sat in the back of a cab on the way to the airport, looking for him. Telling myself that if I happened to see him, I’d stop the car and go to him. That it was a sign I shouldn’t leave.
I didn’t believe in signs.
But I believed that leaving Brodie was the biggest mistake of my life.
“Is there anything we can do for you?” John asked me.
The postcard in the inside pocket of my jacket tethered me to someone I never should have walked away from.
“Can we talk after?” I didn’t know what I wanted to say, what I’d be ready to admit. Not that I found someone else. Or that he was a man. Or that I’d rather be with him anywhere than spend one more minute with Piper’s ghost.
Chapter 3
Brodie
Homehadn’tchanged;itwas me that was different. I took an Uber past Mom’s house and I thought of getting out and going up to the front door and knocking… and the chaos that the next few hours would be. I loved my mom, but I didn’t have the energy to pretend that I wasn’t still gutted.
I needed sleep. I’d traveled through so many time zones I wasn’t even sure what year it was anymore. Airports made shitty places to try and sleep. The benches weren’t designed for comfort, that was for sure. The floor was almost better. When I could, I upgraded to first class, but even that didn’t help. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Liam. Memories replayed in my head torturing me with what I’d lost.
If I’d ever even had it. Clearly Liam hadn’t been half as invested in me as I was in him. Maybe if I’d told him before he got the mysterious phone call, he might have believed that I loved him and that I wasn’t trying to manipulate him. That memory was the worst. The way I’d poured my guts out to him and he’d apologized to me. Humiliation stung, but it was almost better than the bereft feeling that had choked me when I left that room and he hadn’t followed.
When I started travelling, I gave up my apartment and my car. I put my things in storage and took with me only the essentials, so I had nowhere currently to call my own. The Uber stopped outside of Kieran’s and I climbed out, dragging my suitcase and my busted-up heart to his front door. The lights were off and his car wasn’t here, but lucky for me I had a key.
Kieran had insisted on giving me one before I left and I was glad for it now. I let myself in and parked my suitcase by the couch. I wasn’t sure how long I’d be staying. Mom would probably want me to spend time with her, and I didn’t hate the sound of that. But when I was more rested and able to hold my shit together. Not now when I was so worn out that a strong wind could knock me over. When my whole body felt fragile like rice paper.
I made a quick trip to the bathroom to empty my bladder and wash my face. I wouldn’t miss smelling like airplanes and airports. I would miss smelling like Liam. Fuck.
I flicked the bathroom light off and went to the living room. I was too exhausted to deal with my shit and needed about six weeks of sleep. Could I hibernate until it didn’t hurt anymore? I could certainly try.
Kieran’s couch was ridiculously comfortable. I stretched out and covered up using the blanket he kept draped over the back. He always kept a blanket in the living room. It was good for movies and make-out sessions, and for wayward siblings with broken hearts and probably the worst jet lag known to man.
Sleep hit me like a sledgehammer. There was no way of knowing how long I’d been out when suddenly I was being shaken. Kieran’s voice, deep and familiar, and kind of pissed, filtered into my brain and woke me.
“Who the fuck?” Kieran asked. I pulled the blanket off my face and squinted at the light. “Brodie?” Kieran looked shocked and not unhappy to see me now that he knew it was me who’d broken into his house and crashed on his couch.
“Is that any way to greet your little brother?” I tossed the blanket off and sat up. About three point two seconds passed before Kieran yanked me up to my feet and crushed me in a bear hug.
“Holy shit. Does Mom know you’re here? Don’t answer that. It was a stupid question. Does anyone know you’re here?”
“I came straight from the airport. Several airports.” I caught sight of Kieran’s boyfriend, Clay. Kieran frequently called to check on me and ask how my travels were going. Usually at least once a conversation he’d ask me when I was coming home. Then he started seeing Clay and his question changed to when was I going to come home and meet his boyfriend.
“You must be Clay.” I pried myself out of Kieran’s arms and offered a hand. “I’ve heard all about you.” I gave him what I hoped was my best welcome-to-the-family smile.
“Whatever you heard, he lies.”
“Oh, so you’re not the best thing that’s ever happened to him? Shame.”
