Page 5 of The Surviving Sky
“I finally get to go into the jungle for my expedition?”
“Your architect husband gets to be off duty. You get uninterrupted time with him. You don’t have to be stuck in the library anymore, studying somethingobscure—”
“I’m sure we’ll see each other once I’m back,” Ahilya said.
Her irritation bubbled close to the surface, but she had learned to contain it with Tariya. Fighting got them nowhere. Ahilya had to remind herself that it had not always been this way with her sister. Tariya’s despair had developed ever since their parents had moved away to a different city. It had affected her more than she was willing to admit. Ahilya leaned over the railing, hoping to spot Oam or Dhruv, swallowing the scorn in Tariya’s words. Amongst the thousand citizens, it was impossible to discern the only two people who had any faith in her research.
“I can’t wait to see Bharavi,” Tariya continued. “Her last visit was ages ago, and only for a week. The boys miss her.Imiss her.”
Ahilya drew back. “Bharavi came to you during the flight?”
“Of course.Why—didn’tIravan visit you?”
Ahilya shook her head. “Each time you said you spoke to her, I assumed it was through the ring.”
Her finger rubbed her single rudra bead. Everyone in Nakshar owned a similar bead, provided as a sign of their citizenship. With it, architects could contact the city’s population in times of need. With it, citizens could view Nakshar’s morphing architecture to know which areas were safe, which under construction. Over the years, the citizen ring had been embedded with several permissions, but it had been created originally for its messaging capabilities, and that was still its primary function.
“I didn’t realize Bharavi actually left the temple to visit,” Ahilya said, frowning.
“Of course she did. Several times.”
“I thought they were both on duty. That they were busy.”
“Theywerebusy, but Bharavi had her breaks, same as Iravan and all the other architects. He didn’t visit you even once?”
Ahilya shook her head again.
“Did you speak to him at least, through your ring?”
Ahilya said nothing. Right after the earthrage was announced, she had transmitted a message saying she wanted to reconcile, but Iravan hadn’t responded. For seven months, Ahilya had disconnected every other note she’d composed. She’d spent long nights in her library alcove, burying her pain and confusion in her work, returning home only to sleep, a home where everything reminded her of him. Each time Tariya had asked about Iravan, Ahilya had murmured a casual response and changed the subject. How could she explain her marriage to Tariya now without betraying herself and Iravan? She knew her husband; this was his way. They had been down this road before, with his angry silences as cutting and eloquent as his words.
Tariya touched Ahilya’s elbow in concern. “Did you two have afigh—”
“It doesn’t matter,” Ahilya said.
“But—”
“Please, Tariya. I get enough of this from the rest ofNakshar—allof them watching my marriage, judging my research, whispering about my plans for the city.”
“Maybe it’s time to listen, then,” Tariya replied, a tone of exasperation entering her voice. “Time to set aside your childish ambitions, especially if it’s affecting your marriage. Ahilya, this thing youdo—tryingto changehistory—atwhat cost?”
Ahilya jerked her elbow away. The last time she had seen Iravan, spent after their intimacy, they had argued about herchildish ambitionstoo. Oh, he had been too artistic to frame it like that. He had begun slow, propping himself up on an elbow, his fingers feather-soft on her stomach.
“Ahilya,” he’d said. “We’re ready, don’t you think? We’ve been ready for a while, surely.”
“Ready…”she’d murmured, too relaxed to probe.
When she could no longer sense his touch, she had opened her eyes to see Iravan sit up. Sunshine danced on his skin, bright then shadow-dark. He ran his hand through his salt-and-pepper hair. “I want a child, Ahilya,” he said. “Someone to fill this growing chasm insideme…”He laughed bitterly, gazing down at his hand over his heart. “Don’t you feel it? Don’t you want one anymore? You did before.”
Of course she wanted one. She had always wanted one.
“Why now?” she asked instead, sitting up. Her heart beat faster. They had avoided speaking of this, knowing it would end in an argument. For him to bring it up now, again, when they’d stolen a moment ofpeace—
“Why?” he asked. “Whynot? What are we waiting for? Ahilya, we’ve been married eleven years.” He reached forward to stroke her hair. “You can give this tome…to us. If it brings us happiness, why won’t you make that choice?”
“Because happiness is not your reason for wanting a child, is it, Iravan? Not really.”
His hand had fallen away from her. He’d stared at her as she scrambled for her clothes.
