Page 6 of The Surviving Sky
“There’s more to this,” she said. “This has to do with the demands of the council. With an architect’s arbitrarymaterialbonds. Is this about making a child for a child’s sake?”
“If making a baby helps convince the others that my commitment to Nakshar is irrevocable, why is that so terrible?”
“I won’t make a child to please the council, Iravan. You shouldn’t want something so precious forarchitectreasons.”
“Is that what you think? That it’s the sole reason I’d want a family? Rages, Ahilya, I want to be a father. Why is that so hard to believe?”
Ahilya fumbled as she began clothing herself, disbelief making her movements inelegant. She had to admire his finesse. He had waited until she was satiated to bring this up. “Architects andchildren—”she said. “Myparents—theway they were, with me and Tariya, but we weren’t born with the ability to traject likethem—wewere neverenough—herdespair, because ofthem—shedoesn’t admit it, but itworsened—theycould neveraccept—”
Iravan cut across her. “I don’t think likethem—”
“Maybe not right now. But how long before you resent the child for not being like you? Before you’re disappointed that it’s likeme?”
“This is ridiculous,” he snapped. “When have I ever indicated you’re not my equal?”
“When you started keeping secrets from me,” she said, rising to anger despite herself. “When you became a Senior Architect and councilor. It began five years ago, Iravan.”
Iravan’s voice became hard. “This isn’t about me. This is about you. Everything you do is tied to your resentment because you weren’t born with the ability to traject. Your research, your reluctance to have achild—andnow you suspect my reasons simply because I’m an architect?”
“I’m not an idiot, Iravan. Do you seriously expect me to believe you have no other reasons for wanting a child? No pressures from the council?”
“You’re projecting your owninsecurities—”
“Yes or no?”
Iravan threw his hands up, his rudra beads chinking. “All architects abide by the directions of the council. If my profession bothers you so much, why did you agree to marry me at all?”
“Because I loved you,” she said. “Because you lovedme—”
“I still do!”
“And because you were different from other architects. You didn’t think normal citizens any less worthy before. Our ideas of the world were the same. Iravan, you were supposed to dobetterby us. That was the plan. That’s why we worked so hard for you to become a Senior Architect. So you could change things.”
“Rages, I’m still like that, Ahilya.”
“Are you?” she’d asked sadly, her anger melting all at once into weariness. “Then why is it that when there’s a council seat available, you’re angling to nominate Naila, aJuniorArchitect, instead of a regular citizen?”
“It’s not that easy,” he’d protested. “Only those who make a significant contribution to the survival of the ashram can be nominated to the council. And Naila is well on her way to that. It doesn’t mean I think non-architects anyless—”
“I think it does,” she said, quietly. Her heart felt heavy. Now, after all the arguments, they had finally come to it. “You’ve changed since you became a Senior Architect, Iravan. Since you became apartof the council, with all its secrets and rationales, above the rest of us. You don’t like to admit it, but now I embarrass you. You look down on me and the rest of us who can’ttraject—maybeyou always have. Our stories, our lack of history, our very lives in this architect’s world, those mean nothing to you. Perhaps you don’t even think anything is wrong with the way our civilization exists. And I’m not about to make a child until you figure out what’s right.”
Iravan’s eyes glittered. His handsome face darkened in dawning outrage.
He’d stood up then.
Snatched his clothes and walked away.
With the earthrage announced hours later, she hadn’t seen him since.
Tariya was still throwing half-concerned, half-irritated glances toward her. Ahilya sighed, reached for her sister’s hand, and squeezed. Tariya’s lips twitched. She squeezed back.
In front of them, the rudra tree began to vibrate. The crowdoohed andaahed; several people clapped and cheered. A large ring-shapedplatform—theArchitects’Disc—becamevisible on the tree’s topmost stories. Atop it, the shapes of a hundred glowing Maze Architects grew distinct, revealing the source of the ethereal blue-green light. Tariya gripped Ahilya’s hand in excitement. Somewhere on the Disc, along with the other two Senior Architects of Nakshar, Iravan and Bharavi orchestrated the Maze Architects. Ahilya tried not to look too closely.
With the appearance of the Disc, the temple became denser. The gallery Ahilya was on crept closer to the rudra tree. The city that had spanned acres in the sky during an earthrage shrank, became smaller, stronger.
Pressure built in her ears, but before it could hurt, she inhaled and worked her jaw. The sharp scent of healbranch entered her lungs. Green tendrils sprouted from the woody railing and wove themselves over and under her hands; roots twined between her legs, arms, and waist, over to her neck, holding her steady. Ahilya closed her eyes, imagining what Nakshar must look like from the outside, an oblong tangle of roots, leaves, and branches, tied and tightened in a hundred different layers, plummeting toward the jungle below. She could almost feel its controlled hurtle, the snap and break of the trees as it crashed through the jungle like a comet. She breathed deeply, fighting the sense of overwhelming vertigo and turbulence. The will of the city grew inside her, all the citizens, attuning their consciousness, to keep everyone safe, andthen—
Stillness.
