Page 89 of With Stars in Her Eyes
“Yep.” I tightened my arms around her. “I think my family was hoping to auction it all off to collectors, but Grandpa knew I wouldn’t do that, which, I think, is why he left it all to me.”
Courtney’s hand slid to hold the back of my head. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”
“Thank you for not thinking I’m a weirdo.”
“If youarea weirdo, you’re definitely my kind of weirdo.” Courtney lifted her eyes back to the horizon. “If you don’t have something you love like this… I think it’s hard to understand the people who do. Does that make sense? Because sometimes watching you… watching you be like this with your photography makes me feel like you understand that part of me. Makes me feel like you know me better than almost anyone.”
I leaned into the pressure of Courtney’s hand on my head. “Because it doesn’t make sense to flunk classes because you wanted to photograph Jupiter conjunct with Venus. Or lose jobs because you were too busy staring at the sky that you missed calls.” My voice quieted slightly. I had never said any of this aloud before. “I’ve quit things that get in the way because I can’t shake this inner drive to see things in a new way… capture them in a new way.”
“I really love how you see the world, Thea.”
“Thank you…” I tightened my grip on my camera. “People don’t understand spending this much time on something, knowing that I don’t have the luck or talent or contacts or whatever that would make it a good financial decision.”
“It’s art. The business case almost never makes sense. And that’s okay.”
“It’s weird to talk about it like this. Usually people don’t get it.”
“I’m glad you’re trusting me enough to talk about it.”
“It’s usually about now when I’m with someone that they figure out how much time I spend on this stuff, that they think it’s weird I’m protective about it.” I hadn’t meant to voice that fear aloud. “I’m realizing how often when I talk about this… I end up oversharing. I end up sharing too much of myself.” I huffed out my nose. “Always ending up the too-much-too-soon girl. At least compared to the people I tried to open up to. Then it turns out they weren’t sharing much of themselves with me at all. It’s funny that despite strangers always telling me everything, it’s the people who I want to be close to who don… gosh, I don’t know.” An unexpected tear streaked down my cheek.
Courtney thumbed it away and then kissed the place it had fallen.
“Sorry. That was a lot and a weird thing to talk about with someone who… well—”
Courtney saved me from finishing the sentence with a crushing kiss.
Much later we found ourselves quiet again, watching the stars. Courtney’s hand slipped into mine. “I want to know everything, Thea. And I can’t see that changing.”
I wrapped my heaviest blanket around us both and we watched the movement of Earth. The pathways of the stars mapping the passage of time in a way even I wasn’t sure I had ever fully appreciated until this moment.
CHAPTER 30Courtney
I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes. Had the heat gone out? Why was it so cold when it was almost summer?
“Wake up, baby.” Thea’s coaxing voice was at my ear.
I rolled over, but the creaking beneath me was a reminder I was in a chair and not my bed. “What time…?” The question was lost in a yawn. More birds were chirping than before.
“We both fell asleep for a few hours. I’ve gotten everything packed up. Still a couple hours away from dawn, but you’re shivering. I think we should start back.” Thea kissed my forehead. “You’re freezing. It’s breezy, and I think it dipped into the fifties.”
My brain woke up enough to register the idling engine behind me.
“The car’s probably warm now.” Thea nodded at the door. “Go get in, and I’ll be there in a few seconds.”
“What are you doing?”
“I think I can see a couple planets pretty clearly because the clouds didn’t roll in. I’m going to see if I can get a few good shots before we leave.”
Thea’s dark eyes glowed, and I recognized that glow. It was the same one I saw in my bloodshot eyes while up too late songwriting or planning. Thea bent over the telescope and made adjustments I had no hope of understanding in a million years. I was getting shakier by the moment, so I folded up the chair and leaned it against the back of the SUV next to Thea’s chair. The heat inside the car was glorious. My phone was dead, but I didn’t care. I didn’t even want to know the time.
Last night felt like something so precious and righteouslystolen amidst the clutter and chaos waiting for me everywhere else. I leaned the seat back and watched Thea’s silhouette until my eyes closed again without asking permission.
“Almost home, Courtney.”
“What? How?” I rubbed my eyes. “I was going to wake up and offer to drive.”
“You wereout.”
