Page 98 of Love At First Fright
The gravelly tone of his voice, the voice that she loved, dug into her gut. Hot, angry tears pooled at her chin.
“You don’t get to explain, Ellis. You lost that opportunity the moment you announced to the whole fucking world that you’re not with me.”
“I had to. I did it for you,” he said, his voice sounding distant and broken.
“What the fuck does that mean? You did it for me? Am I supposed to thank you? Let me guess. It was Brody, right? Brody told you you had to say those things and so you just had to?”
“Yes.”
“That’s fucking weak, Ellis. And you know it. You let him walk all over you and you couldn’t stand up to him? Not even for me?” Her hands shook.
“He was going to tell everyone,” Ellis said.
“What?”
“At first I thought he was doing the same old blackmail, threatening to tell everyone about my ‘perversions,’ but I told him I didn’t care. And that’s the truth. You know that I’m bi, so does all my family and everyone who matters to me. I don’t care if the world knows, Rosemary, that’s what I told Brody. And I fired him.”
Rosemary’s hand was shaking so hard she had to clamp the phone to her ear with her shoulder. “I don’t understand. Why then…?”
“He had footage.” Rosemary’s blood ran cold as she heard Ellis’s words. “Brody had us followed, that weekend on set when Jenna came for the photo opportunity. I’m such an idiot, I thought I saw a car tailing us, but I figured I was just being paranoid. He had a video of us, on the hill I think, when you were going down on me. He said that if I didn’t tell Theo Drake that we were only colleagues, and that I was dating Jenna, he’d release the video. It would have ruined your career, Rosemary. I didn’t give a shit about myself, but you? You’re about to reach a new level of fame for an author, and I didn’t want this to bring you down.”
“That was not your decision to make, Ellis!” she shouted. “You said you would always tell me these things, that we would talk through them,together.Was it so impossible to try to call me?”
“There wasn’t time. I had to make a decision. I did what was best for you, love.”
“You have no right to decide what’s best for me.”
“Rosemary, it would have been torture; you would have been notorious for all the wrong reasons. Constantly being hounded, photographed, stalked. They would have fucked up your life, and your family. I did what I had to do to protect you. Because I love you.”
Could you feel a heart as it broke? Everything she had wanted to hear, and it was too late. Even now, a rational part of her brain was agreeing with him. It did sound like torture, all that focus, all that notoriety and fame for the wrong reasons. She hated to think that Ellis might be right—what if she couldn’t handle it? Rosemary knew she wasn’t being rational but the hurt cut too deep to ignore.Don’t push him away over this, he’s hurting too,a small voice inside her shouted but it was easily drowned out. She needed space. She needed to breathe.
When Rosemary spoke it was as if she was outside her own body, hearing another in her place.
“No, Ellis. You did it because you’re scared, and ashamed. That wasn’t for me. I can’t do this, I need space. Just don’t contact me. Please.” Rosemary hung up. Angry, hot tears slipped down her cheeks and Rosemary crumpled to the grass and gave into the ache that ripped from her throat in a sob. She loved him, he loved her. And it was all over.
—
Rosemary awoke sometime later lyingon top of her bed, a blanket thrown over her, not knowing how she got there. Something was tickling her ear. She turned her head, only to be met with the softest, warmest belly of Little Bee, who had curved her tiny body around the side of Rosemary’s head, her little foot pressed against the side of Rosemary’s neck. On her chest, weightless, the ghost cat was curled into a ball, watching Rosemary with her luminous eyes. As if she was saying,I’m here, go back to sleep.Rosemary’s body felt numb. It was too soon to think, she wasn’t ready for that yet. She let herself fall back to sleep, soothed for a little while by Bee’s gentle breaths.
35
Rosemary awoke to a knockingat her bedroom door.
“Hey, sweetpea, can I come in?”
“Yeah,” she rasped.
Her dad came in, carrying a cup of coffee and a strawberry glazed donut with sprinkles that he must have gone into town for, just like he’d always done to cheer her up when she was a kid. He put them down on the bedside table and opened her blinds.
“I’m not going to ask you if you’re okay, because that would be a stupid thing to ask when I know you’re not. So, all I’m going to say is I love you, and that Dina and Immy have been calling the house all morning trying to speak to you. They said when you wake up you should ring them.” He bent down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”
Rosemary groaned and pulled herself into a seated position in bed. She’d put her phone on Do Not Disturb and now she checked it there appeared to be over one hundred messages from Dina and Immy in their group. She pressed for a group call.
“I’m going to fucking MURDER him,” was the first thing Immy said as her face popped up on the screen.
“You murder him and I’ll hex him, I don’t care what the repercussions are,” Dina said. Rosemary caught sight of herself on the phone screen. Christ, she looked terrible, her face puffy and red from crying.
“Hey,” she croaked out. Bee had jumped back up onto the bed and was now kneading tiny biscuits between Rosemary’s legs. Thank god for this little cat.
