Page 48 of Damnation
I don’t speak. I don’t know what to say. I’ve never done anything like that before, and he knows it. I told everyone at Carol’s party during that stupid game of Truth or Dare. Thomas can sense that I’m getting nervous, so he takes my hand and positions it between my legs. My heart begins to beat more anxiously.
“Relax,” he says softly, rising back up to my lips. “There’s nothing wrong with it.” He kisses me intensely, using his tongue to share my own taste with me. His erection is pressing hard against my belly, and another volley of heat bursts between my legs. Thomas shifts his weight to his right forearm, and he takes his shaft in his other hand, slowly gliding it up and down himself.
When I look up and meet his eyes, I see pure desire along with sweet encouragement. So I take heart; I try to shed the prudishness that has always held sway over me. Although I’m still hesitant, I press my fingers to my slick folds, imagining that he’s the one doing it.
“Tell me what you’re thinking about,” he whispers, staring down at my crotch and watching as I begin to move my hand in sync with his.
I swallow, and with no small amount of effort, I force myself to blurt out the truth: “You. I’m thinking about your hands on me.”
Thomas quirks a corner of his mouth and sucks so greedily on my nipple that I moan. I touch myself with more urgency, the need to have him inside me rising. My clit throbs as pleasure spreads throughout my body. His guttural pants against my neck make me shiver. My back arches, pressing my breasts against his chest, which is rising and falling faster and faster.
Immediately, his lips are on mine and my body trembles. Oh God, I’m coming. I can feel the force of my orgasm burning up the back of my thighs, clouding my brain. Thomas masturbates himself faster, which tells me that he’s also on the edge. But then, from behind the closed bedroom door, Vince’s voice interrupts us.
“Bro, move your ass and get downstairs. We’re already late.”
I freeze and stare at Thomas, my eyes wide with panic and my body trembling with adrenaline.
“Fuck. I’ll be out in a minute; wait downstairs for me!” he growls between gritted teeth, throwing a murderous look at the door before returning his gaze to me. “Don’t stop,” he whispers into my ear with his deep voice. “Keep touching yourself.”
He bites my neck, and still pleasuring himself, he gets on his knees and puts his hand over mine, urging me to move. He pushes two ofmy fingers between my lower lips, moving them up over my clit and down again.
“Oh God,” I moan, tossing my head back against the pillow. I try to withdraw my hand and let him keep going on his own, but he holds it firmly and continues to direct my movements, faster now. I can feel little electrical zaps running down every nerve I have. And then Vince’s voice comes crashing down on us again.
“A minute is not long enough for you to finish what you’re doing in there, and we all know it,” he says. “I’ve already been here twenty minutes, so either you come out of that room right now, or I’m leaving.”
We both stop moving. I feel my orgasm slipping away for a second time.
Thomas, with his jaw hard, mutters a quick “Fucker” and gets out of the bed, leaving me with a profoundly empty feeling. I cover myself with the sheet as he moves toward the door with determined strides and slams it open. Vince is there, leaning against the doorframe, and his face immediately screws up in disgust at the sight of naked Thomas.
“What the…? Dude, cover yourself up for Christ’s sake,”
Thomas stabs a finger at him. “You owe me a fuck, you got that?”
“You mean…you and me?” The grimace on his face deepens. “No, I’m good.”
“You’re an idiot,” Thomas answers. “Now I’m going to take a shower. An ice-cold shower.”
“If I don’t see you downstairs in two minutes, I’m gonna leave—”
Thomas slams the door in his face before Vince can finish and then stalks irritably to the bathroom.
Unsettled and dissatisfied in a way I’ve never felt before, I watch him vanish. I stare up at the black ceiling while I listen to the sound of running water in the shower, and I blink incredulously at the absurd situation we’ve found ourselves in. Scratch that—the absurd situation that Vince has put us in. Goddammit.
I snort and flop back on the mattress, and just when I’m about to give up on an orgasm this morning, Thomas reappears in the room. He advances on me, his face tense, and grabs me by the hips. With onesingle movement, he hoists me up over his shoulder, carrying me upside down. “Thomas! What are you doing!” I squawk in surprise.
“Taking a fucking shower.”
Before I can answer, I find myself backed up against the bathroom tiles, my legs wrapped around Thomas’s waist, his hands on my ass, and his hard-on pressed against me. Water from the shower streams over us, forcing me to blink repeatedly and maybe gasp a time or two. Thomas stares at me with a longing that makes me tremble. He pushes his hair back with a jerk of his hand, but a strong jet of water sends it falling right back over his forehead. He’s somehow sexier than ever. Then, he pounces, kissing me passionately.
“I want you so much,” he breathes into my mouth.
“I was under the impression that we didn’t have time for this,” I gasp, clinging to his shoulders.
He pulls back from my mouth a bit and, with a small smile, moves a sodden bit of hair from my temple to behind my ear. “I can mix business with pleasure.” He slides into me with a moan. He braces himself against the tile and begins to move against me. I tighten my legs around him, and our breathing speeds up. And then he kisses me. He kisses me in a way he never has before. It’s stronger, needier, deeper. My heart is thundering so hard, I’m afraid he can hear it.
“Thomas, I…” I’m breathing heavily as he thrusts purposefully into me, causing my stomach to tighten like a vise. He bends his head to vigorously suck my breasts.
“I–I…” I want to tell him, I need to tell him how much I love him, but those three words, so small but so powerful, are trapped on the tip of my tongue. I can’t do it. It’s fear. My own fear. Fear of not having my feelings reciprocated or of watching him slip through my fingers because those feelings are too big and too demanding for someone like him to deal with.
