Page 44 of Damnation
He puts both hands on my hips, preparing to push me away. To reject what I’m saying. But he has to, he has to believe me. He has tounderstand that this is the truth. This and nothing else. I take his face in my hands and press my forehead against his.
“You are a good person, Thomas,” I repeat in a delicate voice. Then I give him a slow kiss. “A good person.”
“Ness, stop it,” he says with an exhausted sigh, his Adam’s apple bobbing. But I don’t stop. I kiss him again, more insistently this time, forcing him to surrender. His lips open to mine, and his hands tighten on my hips.
“You are a good person,” I tell him endlessly against his mouth, kissing him, touching him, holding him tight to me. I wish I could do more. I wish I could make him feel good, free his mind from all the things that torment him, and chase away the demons that haunt him night and day. I want to be his escape from reality.
I know there’s only really one thing that can make him feel better now. And so I let it happen. I slide my hands down, rubbing his shoulders, and then the warm skin and tense muscles of his sculpted abdomen as I trace his lips with my tongue.
Thomas bites my lip with a grunt. I can feel his teeth in every part of my body. Our breathing is suddenly labored. The bulge pressing up against my panties gives me a warm sensation that makes my lower abdomen throb.
I run my fingertips along the seam of his jeans, and I hear him suck in a breath when, with unusual boldness, I tug his zipper down. I’m just about to slip my hand into his boxers when he grabs my wrist to stop me.
I open my eyes, confused, and find him staring at me, his eyes half closed and suffering. “You don’t have to…”
“I want to…” I murmur shamelessly, watching his mouth. It’s red and wet from our kissing. But Thomas shakes his head. He zips himself back up and straightens the hem of my dress, trying to cover me up as best he can.
“If I let you keep going right now, it wouldn’t be for you; it would just be for me. And I don’t want that.”
“But I do,” I say. “If that’s what you need, to lose yourself in something, then go ahead. But do it with me. Get lost with me.”
The furrow on his forehead deepens. Despite the flicker of heat I can see in his eyes, wariness wins out, and he hesitates. I lean in close to his ear until I’m brushing it with my lips, kissing it. “Do you remember what I asked you to do the first night we were together, right here in this very room?” He shakes his head almost imperceptibly, and as I begin to grind against him in slow movements, I feel him start to tremble beneath me. “I asked you to help me forget.” My mouth trails down to his neck, pressing one wet kiss after another to it. “And you did. You did it exceptionally well. Now, let me help you forget.”
I grab both his hands and place them on my thighs, sliding them up under my short dress until they reach my buttocks. Automatically, his fingers sink into my flesh, and Thomas thrusts his pelvis against mine. I close my eyes, overwhelmed by a flush of pleasure.
“You’re not gonna like it this way,” he growls, an inch from my ear.
But I do like it this way.
I like it every way, when it’s with Thomas.
I smile a little against his ear. “Touch me, Thomas. I want you to touch me the way only you can.” I whisper it to him, taking his earlobe into my mouth and sucking it. Thomas stiffens, his grip on my ass tightening, burning me like a brand. I continue to tease him as I move my hands over his groin and rub his erection through his jeans. I pull a half-choked moan from his throat.
“I want you right here. On this floor right now. With the rain in the background and your hands all over me,” I confess, inching his zipper all the way down. His eyes, lit up with greed, catch on my hand before slowly coming up to linger on my face.
And that’s it.
For him and for me.
Thomas crashes into my mouth and stabs his tongue forcefully inside. There is no delicacy in this kiss. No respect. There is only desire. Hunger. Claiming. The next moment, I find myself prone on the floor, caged by his body. I flex my knees around his hips. I dig my fingers into his hair and kiss him back with the same enthusiasm. He grabs my wrists, clamping them together above my head with onehand while he bites my lip so hard that it makes me moan in pain and pleasure.
He runs his other hand along my stomach until he hits my thighs. I part them, and his fingers move expertly over my panties, lingering on one heated, quivering spot. “Is this how you want me to touch you?” he pants into my mouth.
My body is on fire as I nod. My hips buck, desperate moans issuing from my throat as his thumb puts more pressure on my clit. I struggle to free my wrists from the grip of his hands, but I don’t struggle too hard, because feeling immobilized underneath him makes everything more thrilling. He continues to tease me with the palm of his hand. Finally, Thomas pulls aside my panties and unhesitatingly presses a finger inside me.
I can feel my breath catch in my throat from the intensity of the desire that overwhelms me. He withdraws his finger only to push it back in even deeper. I arch my back until my torso is pressing against his bare chest. I squeeze my eyes closed and bite my lip.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Ness,” he breathes, giving me an indecipherable look. Then he seizes my mouth. He kisses, bites, devours the flesh on my jawline, dipping down to my covered breasts and then back up to my lips again. All the while, he keeps fucking me with his finger—in and out, in and out. My internal muscles tense and burn with every stroke as an unbearable pleasure grows between my thighs. God, I just want to grab his shoulders, dig my nails into his back, touch him everywhere, but he won’t let me.
Before I know it, he stops pleasuring me and withdraws his hands to his jeans, pulling down his boxers just enough to free his erection. He rubs it slowly against my panties as I writhe, desperate for more contact. And since I can’t use my hands to bring him closer, I lock my legs more tightly around his middle and pull him against my body. The longing ache between my legs has to be soothed, but Thomas gives me no relief. He tugs my panties aside and draws close to my opening before moving away immediately, only intensifying the unbearable feeling down there. My God, I need more. I want him deeper, inside me, just like in the bathroom at ClubSeven.
As if reading my mind, Thomas releases my wrists and turns me over roughly, grabbing me by the hair. Then he pushes me to my knees on the floor, a position that won’t allow for kissing or any other emotional connection. He grabs my panties again, finally tearing them away, and then, without further delay, he sinks into me. My breath catches.
My scream bounces off the walls of his room. His breathing is more like a growl as he pulls out and slams back into me, making me scream again and again. I can’t help it—I am no longer in control.
“Good girl, use your voice; let me hear how much you want me.”
He moves inside me, back and forth, harder, faster. My body is on fire with arousal. The bursts of pleasure are so intense that my legs nearly give out. He holds my hair in one fist while his other hand runs along my hips, pushing my dress up to my waist. He reaches my covered breasts and eagerly pulls the satin fabric down, nearly tearing it in an attempt to bare me. A moment later, he tears my dress off entirely and tosses it into a corner of the room.
