Page 28 of Damnation
Thomas stiffens, giving me a severe look. “What the hell are you talking about?”
I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying. Or what I’m doing. But I’m like a runaway train—unstoppable.
“You know exactly what I mean,” I tell him stubbornly.
For a long time, he just stares at me with no reaction. Then, without another word, he grabs my wrist and drags me away from the chaos that surrounds us.
“What are you doing? Let me go!” I try to resist, digging my heels into the floor, but he just tightens his grip on my wrist.
“Come with me, now,” he orders, pulling me into the men’s bathroom. He looks around for a free stall, and a moment later, I find myself imprisoned in a tiny metal cubicle with profane scribbles all over the wall. My back is against the door, Thomas’s body pressed against me with his forearms on either side of my head.
“You want to end things with me just because you saw Shana sitting with me? I don’t give a shit about her.”
It’s enough to make me laugh. “I can’t end anything with you, because technically, we aren’t even together, Thomas. I’m just telling you I can’t do it anymore.”
“You felt otherwise up until this afternoon. What happened to make you suddenly change your mind?”
“Nothing happened. I just realized that this is not for me. So no more messy scenes from now on. No more doubts. No more anything; it’s over,” I answer, unable to admit that I’m simply jealous. That I’ve fallen in love.
Thomas’s face grows hard as he becomes increasingly enraged. “Bullshit,” he says.
“It’s over,” I say again, almost challenging him.
But he just shakes his head, slowly and more seriously than ever, looming over me again. His mouth is a mere inch from mine. My heartbeat suddenly becomes faster, stronger until it’s deafening me. He takes my face in his hands and stares into my eyes. “It’s not over until I say it’s over,” he growls, a breath away from my lips and staring like he wants to devour them. “And I say it’s not over. You want me. And I want you.Justyou.” His grip on my face intensifies, and I can feel myskin heating. “Right now, you’re out of control and crazy jealous. But so am I. You think it didn’t piss me off, seeing that guy drooling over your tits and legs? Or that I’m not dying to find that asshole you danced with and smash his face in?”
His scent, wafting up from his T-shirt, surrounds me. Surprised and maybe even satisfied by his words, I lift my eyes to meet his.
“Fuck, do I want to do that,” he continues. “But do you know what else I want to do, Ness?” He spins me around in one sudden movement, and now my chest is pressed to the door, my palms flat against it. My breaths are short and rapid, and his body is crushed against me.
“Thomas…” I start to say, planning to calm him down, but the gentle whisper I’d intended takes on more of a moaning quality.
The rumble of male voices coming in and out of the bathroom instantly triggers a fear that we’ll be overheard. But for some reason, that risk only makes everything that’s happening more exciting and even seems to amplify the sensations roiling inside me. Thomas brushes his lips over the sensitive skin of my neck, and a shiver runs down my spine. He slips his hands under my dress and crawls his fingers along the flesh of my inner thighs, slowly moving up and up until he meets the damp fabric of my panties.
The panting for breath and burning skin are clear signs of my growing arousal, and they coax a satisfied groan from the back of his throat. “I want to rip this dress off and fuck you until you forget about the existence of other men.” He presses me into his pelvis hard, making me feel his erection. An untamable fire ignites within me, and I tremble all over when he starts to slowly move his fingers between my panty-covered lips. The way he sucks and gnaws on my earlobe is almost violent. “Until you understand that the only cock you’re allowed to rub yourself on is mine.”
I hold my breath. I dig my nails into the door so hard, I nearly scratch the paint. Not giving me time to react, speak, or even think, Thomas takes my chin with his other hand and turns my head for an angry kiss. I moan into his mouth. It’s intense, this kiss of his; there’s agitation in it as well as presumption but also desire. Yearning. Whenhe pulls away from me, I feel dizzy and hot. He turns me around completely so we can face one another and then continues.
“Fuck it, if they want to look at you, then let them look. But I’m the only one who gets to touch you.” He grabs my ass with both hands, lifting me up, and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist. My back hits the door. My dress rides up to expose my thighs, and I gasp as he rubs his groin against my panties. Incapable of pushing him away, I let him do what he wants. What we both want.
Thomas seizes my mouth, greedily taking it for his own. I get lost in the heat of him and the faint taste of beer as he slides his tongue inside, intertwining it with mine. His breathing is more of a growl as he fondles and squeezes my breast, covering it with his palm. He pulls down the straps of my dress and bends his head to devour my bared breasts. I squeeze my eyes shut and dig my fingers into his hair.
His hands are everywhere until they slip securely underneath my dress. He pushes my panties to the side and begins touching me even more eagerly.
“Don’t say it again.” He takes my bottom lip between his teeth and bites down, hard. “Never again.” He slips one finger inside me, and I contract against it. The rush of pleasure and adrenaline makes me jump.
“What?” I gasp, clinging to his shoulders while he moves me rapidly against him with one hand firm on my ass. “That it’s over?”
I provoke him again just to see him tremble with anger just a little bit more. Because I love the way his body reacts. I love the way his pupils dilate and burn with passion. I can’t stop looking at him, and he is so goddamned irresistible no matter what the circumstances. Whether he’s turned on or pissed off—or, even better, both—he wreaks havoc on every part of me.
“Shut up,” he scolds me, panting as he pulls his hands out from between my thighs. And just when I think he’s about to fix my dress and put me back on the ground, he takes things to the next level. He unzips his jeans and pulls them down just far enough to release his erection. The air is driven from my lungs. I should tell him to stop. Remind him that someone could hear us at any moment and also that I am not at allthe type of girl who gets railed in a sleazy nightclub bathroom. Yeah, I should tell him all of that…but the truth is that the idea of doing that with him right here, right now arouses me beyond belief.
When he lifts me up again, I can feel my heart beating in my throat. He pulls my panties aside once more and rubs himself against me, making me somehow even wetter and greedier. Oh God, I need air.
“I don’t have a condom; please tell me you’re on the pill,” he gasps, pressing his forehead to mine. “I’ve never gone without one before; I’m clean.” Delighted by this confession, I nod. It’s both an answer to his question and an offering of consent for what we’re about to do. I trust him. And I want him inside me. I want to feel him skin-to-skin, the way no one else ever has.
His eyes are eager, brimming with desire. Without ever taking his gaze from mine, he enters me in one powerful, decisive thrust. I let out a loud sob of pleasure, overwhelmed by my feelings for him. Thomas allows his head to fall into the crook of my neck while he squeezes my ass with both hands, pushing me against him. “Fuck!”
Doing this without a condom is a completely different experience. It’s more beautiful, more intense. It creates a physical and mental connection that goes beyond simple carnal pleasure. It’s justmore.
