Page 7 of Damnation
“So what do you want to do, Thomas?” I ask him in a playful singsong tone.
I feel his lips touch mine and his warm, raspy voicing whispering to me, “I just want to make you happy.” While my heart is caught up in a whirlwind of emotions, he puts his hands on my shoulders and pushes me forward, ready to guide me.
***
“Hold on, be quiet,” he says. “Now, let’s go right. No, the other right. Be careful, you’re going to hit the wall.”
“Hey, you’re the one guiding me; you should be the one making sure I don’t hit the wall,” I retort, trying to survive his dismal orienteering skills.
“You don’t listen to my directions.”
“You don’t know how to give directions,” I say with conviction. “Need I remind you that, just a minute ago, you guided me into a glass door that you ‘forgot’ to warn me about, despite it being right in front of me?”
“I told you it was there; you’re the one with the reflexes of a sloth.”
“You told me when it was an inch away from my nose! And don’tsnort,” I scold him jokingly, lightly elbowing his stomach. “I can hear you.”
A feel a puff of air against my neck, which tells me he is smiling again.
“Okay, now lift your right foot; there’s a step.”
I do as he instructs, and we walk a few more feet until he stops me. “Are we here?” I ask, unable to stifle my excitement.
He doesn’t answer.
He lifts his hand from my shoulder, and the next moment, I hear the sound of a door opening. A burst of cold air hits me.
Why is it so cold all of a sudden?
Thomas makes me advance until he grabs my hands and puts them on what feels like a balustrade.
“Okay, I think we’re ready now?” The little undertone of sweetness in his voice as he asks me makes me melt. That’s new.
“Surprise me,” I urge him.
He pauses for just a moment before taking off my bandanna. In front of me is an immense ice skating rink, completely deserted and illuminated only by one overhead light. I am enchanted. It’s beautiful, and instantly, childhood memories bubble to the surface, brief glimpses of perfect moments shared with the one man I thought would never abandon me. My father’s laughter echoes in my head. His large calloused hands holding mine, supporting me so I don’t fall. His encouraging words:“Come on now, baby. I’m going to let go now so you can do it by yourself. You can do it. I know you can.”His fingers slipping out of mine, his proud smile bolstering me… I feel my eyes well up as I stare in wonder at the rink before me.
“You remembered?” My voice trembles with feeling. The night Thomas slept over at my house, I told him about how my father used to take me skating and how much I missed it.
Thomas steps up beside me and brushes my hair away from my face, tucking it tenderly behind my ear. With his thumb, he wipes away a tear I haven’t even realized I shed.
“I can’t give you a solution to your problems, but I can give youa little distraction that might help you forget about that reality for a while. I thought that this”—he looks out at the ice rink in front of us—“might be just the thing.”
I lean into him and give him a tight hug, as strong as the gratitude I feel. Thomas seems surprised, as though he wasn’t expecting this, but then he reciprocates, gathering me into his arms, and I take refuge there.
“You wanna get out there?” he asks, his voice muffled by my hair as he strokes the back of my neck.
I pull away and look at him uncertainly. “Can I?”
He looks around, shrugging. “Who’s gonna tell you no?”
“The security guard, for example. We aren’t supposed to be here,” I point out, lowering my voice as though someone might hear us at any moment.
“The guard’s probably sleeping at this time of night. We’re alone here. So if you wanna skate, you can skate.”
I bite my lip and rock back and forth on my feet, staring uncertainly out at the ice rink. “I want to do it.”
This seems to satisfy him.
