Page 76 of Invisible String
“Aww, so you remember my name?” I chuff. I’ll be honest. Her words hurt like hell. Did I expect it? Yeah. I’m not sure if I’velost her for good. I’m ready to fight her fuck face father. He used my weakness against me.Her. Especially my poverty.
“How can I forget someone I despise? As for sex.” She shrugs. “I’ve had better. You didn’t ruin me, Max. On the contrary, you made me realize so much.”
“What’s that?”
“How wrong I was to fall for you.” Her nostrils flare, and I can see the pain and anger seep into her eyes.
The guilt knots in my throat, and I swallow it. I’m not good, nor do I know anything about love. I understand now what I feel in my heart. Carlos suggested I see a therapist three years ago. I did for a short time, but it wasn’t for me. I’m not the type to talk about myself. What she said was to express my feelings. She made it sound so easy.
“You don’t love me anymore?” My voice drops an octave lower, and my heart thrashes in my chest.
She laughs. “That was four years ago. I thought what I felt was love, but I was wrong. To answer your question. I. Don’t. Love. You. Max.”
She holds her head up and narrows her eyes at me. She spits every word. My face falls. I know she sees it. I don’t give a shit if she does. I take a step back. My heart drops to my stomach.
“What did you think? I would have my heart bleeding open for you? Waiting…until we ran into each other?”
It’s not what I expected, but from what I’ve felt, if you love someone, it doesn’t fade. Sure, I understand what love is like, loving my mom and love-hate for my dad. Of course, Carlos and his wife, I love them, but the love for Rainey was a different type of love. I didn’t know how to express it, how to accept it. I know she won’t believe me if I tell her. Especially now that time has passed. They are meaningless words to her. The love she had for me is gone, replaced with a bitter hate.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Rainey. For what it’s worth, I’ve drowned in our memories. You always crossed my mind. If you want me out of your life, then I’ll do that for you.”
Her chin trembles, and she holds herself together like a queen in battle. “I want that…You out of my life.”
I get it. She’s with him. She probably loves Andrew. I’ll pay the price once again. Maybe one day, she’ll understand the reasons for it all.
I nod, taking the keys from my pocket. “Okay. I’ll leave you alone as you wish. I hope you find someone who can give you the light in your eyes back because I see it’s gone.” Just like the sunshine I need in my darkness. My world is dark without her. “Even without it, you’re beautiful.”
“You got it.The combination is starting to get in there. You’re not focusing,” Carlos yells in our native tongue, pointing out what I’m doing wrong, sparring against Xander. “The defense keeps it going. Power shot. Jab.” The bell rings, showing time’s up.
Ripping the headgear off, I toss it over the ring onto a chair. I know I’m not in the right headspace. I have a big fight in seven months that can open many doors for me. The thing is, my mind is on Rainey’s last words. When I opened the cameras to see her, he was there. Andrew sat at a table, reading a book and drinking a cup of coffee. Seconds later, she dropped a cookie on his table and sat in the chair beside him, like a lovely couple. Jealousy, like no other, fueled me with so much damn rage I snapped the keyboard. If she wants a weak piece of shit in her life, then so beit. If she hasn’t learned already what type of guy, he is, she will soon enough.
“Your head’s not in it, Max. Whatever has you off, leave it at home. In the ring, you must be focused. Your opponent doesn’t care if you’re having an off day.” We climb out of the ring after an hour of sparring, and sweat drips from my forehead to my back.
I take a chug of water and meet Carlo’s sharp eyes, watching me. “I know. I’ll get my head out of my ass.”
“Good. We need to train harder. You have a lot of eyes on you.” He scratches the top of his head. He seems to do that when he’s nervous. “The arena you’re fighting at is hosting a gala, and we’ve been invited. There will be a lot of high rollers, other fighters, the governor, well, you name it. They do it to see who they put money on, and they also want to mingle. You’re now in the public eye, Max. You’re not even the main event; your face is everywhere.”
I scoff. He knows I don’t like attention on me.
“Being in the public eye means being public, son,” he adds. He then laughs. “The payout you’re getting is a hell of a lot of money.”
Don’t I know it? I dreamed of it all for so many years. My financial situation has greatly improved, thanks to my skill with my fists and the success of my expanding business.
Although I’m no longer broke, without a place to call home, or jobless, the one thing that I truly desire is out of my reach. I pushed myself to work harder because deep down, I hoped that if I ever saw Rainey again, I could finally have something more than what we had in all our previous encounters. I’d have something to show for it. What is fame and money when I don’t haveher?Nothing. It means nothing to me.
“I’ll be there.”
“Another thing.” His hands go into his pockets. “Annette is also going. I kinda told her you two should go together. It wouldbe good for the press. She’s also fighting a bout here soon.” Annette moved to Vegas to train in Carlo’s gym since her dad closed his in Tahoe.
A loose laugh rumbles in my chest. “Are you trying to set me up?”
“Sounds like he is,” Xander interjects. “That woman is hot.”
“No, and yes,” Carlos says. “You need a good distraction. She could be it.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
RAINEY
